Looking at the wrong girl
by LilyRite
Summary: So the girl you fell in love with comes back to life, that's a good thing right? Not when you're now in love with her 16 year old sister and you're a vampire. Dawn and Spike fic with lots of twists and turns enjoy. R&R Unfinished!
1. effects of popcorn and a movie

Looking at the wrong girl  
  
After reading all this cool fiction I decided write my own, the idea came to me as if in a dream though I was awake on the computer. I don't know if it's been dun before but in my one Xander is a turtle. (Just kidding)  
  
This is my first fan fic so try not to be too harsh.  
  
I don't own anything except the story; the characters are all creations in Joss Whedon's head.  
  
It's set before season 6 while Buffy's still dead and everyone is totally grieving. I don't know where this stories going to go but if anyone reads & reviews give me ideas.  
  
Dawn sat at home with only the Buffybot to keep her company. It was already dark. She shivered but didn't move to fetch a jacket. Sitting there leaning against the Buffybot, Dawn could pretend Buffy was really back, that she'd never left. For just one moment.. But then she would remember. Sure it looked like her, and spoke like her and tried as hard as she to could to be a sister Dawn but she wasn't. No one could ever replace Buffy. Buffy was special, she was the slayer and she was her sister. The monks had made Dawn out of her and now it just felt like a part of her was missing. She had never felt that close to anyone. What with her mum and sister gone Dawn didn't feel like she had anyone. Sure Willow and Tara were great and she loved them but they weren't family and could never be.  
  
She heard a noise by the door and jumped up listening to see if it sounded at all demonic. She was about to grab for the phone to call Spike when a key turned in the lock and Tara came through the door.  
  
"Couldn't find my key sorry, did I freak you out Dawnie?" Tara asked Dawn who was looking a little pale.  
  
"No, no I'm fine just watching a scary movie" Dawn lied. 'Do you want to watch a different one with me? Maybe a comedy?' I could do with something to cheer me up, Dawn thought getting up energetically and moving towards the television.  
  
'I would love to sweetie,' Tara said sticking her head around the door. 'But I'm just going upstairs to grab a spell book Giles needs. I'm sorry Dawnie, maybe another time. Ok?'  
  
Tara smiled at her and went up to the room her and Willow had lived in since Buffy had died. With Tara out of earshot Dawn sat back down again and sighed sadly.  
  
'Sure whatever,' she replied almost in a whisper as she looked over at the buffybot.  
  
The next day  
  
Dawn returned back from school to find Spike waiting under a shady tree, in the bright Californian sunlight muttering to him self covered with a blanket slowly singeing. Dawn smiled and unlocked the door. She was glad to see him, her day had been so dull and predictable as usual, nothing seemed to excite her. Except for him.  
  
" Spike, do you want to come in?" Dawn shouted to him. Spike turned his head in relieve saw her and rushed to the door.  
  
"Thanks niblet if I'd been out there any longer you would be cleaning up a pile of bleeding dust!" Spike said gratefully.  
  
" Not that I'm not pleased to see you but do you usual go for a walk in the middle of the day?"  
  
Dawn smiled at him. She had grown closer to him every day since Buffy's death. She remembered how her feelings for him had changed over the months. She recalled how she had felt for him after he had helped her break into the magic box. He claimed it was only to steal stuff but knew he had been doing it to take care of her. She knew it was because he thought she was just a kid but it still meant something to her. After that she began to have feelings for him. He has cool hair and wears cool clothes what else would a girl want!  
  
Spike smiled back. 'Came to see you actually niblet. But you have this habit of locking the door. Xander came to see me told me there's some Scooby work and you needed someone to look after you so here I am. So.um.popcorn?'  
  
'Sure' Dawn replied and headed to the kitchen.  
  
Spike and Dawn sat in front of the new comedy film with a dancing monkey and a talking guinea pig Spike had swiped from the video store.  
  
'That is just SO not realistic.' Dawn said unimpressed with the B movie.  
  
'What were you expecting?' Spike said. 'The cover has the two main characters, Bananas and Wilma wearing red baseball caps. Were you looking for something more intellectually stimulating?' Spike questioned her looking slightly bemused. 'Maybe I'll nick something better next time, with vampires?' Dawn turned her head and looked at Spike disapprovingly. Spike saw her and quickly recovered. ' I mean the next time I buy one.'  
  
Dawn smiled to herself. She had been stealing things for a while too but she didn't want Spike to know. If he did he would tell the others and she just couldn't be bothered with an argument and she guessed they couldn't be bothered with her and her problems either.  
  
'Do you want a drink?' Spike said as he stood up. 'I'm just going to get one.'  
  
'Sure that popcorn's made me thirsty. Um.Spike, I don't think we have any beer, Willow and Tara aren't big drinkers.'  
  
Spike turned his head to look at her, ' I didn't mean beer.'  
  
As Spike returned with Dawn's hot chocolate and a cup of blood for himself Dawn looked into the cups and saw the blood.  
  
'No matter how many times I see you drinking blood it's still gross!' she said as she turned back to the TV and began flicking through the channels.  
  
'What are you looking for?' he asked.  
  
'Oh, I just remembered I saw an ad for this show I used to watch when I was like 7. Well. I remember watching this show. Buffy and I used to sit and watch it all the time. It was my favourite show.' Dawn said sadly. Everything had been happier then. Her mum was still alive, so was Buffy and her dad still lived with them. But then everything hadn't been happier then because she hadn't been there, it wasn't real. 'I was just curious to actually see the show and not just remember it.' Dawn nearly whispered sadly.  
  
'Sure Niblet,' Spike said putting his arm around her trying to understand what Dawn had gone through, what she was still going through.  
  
After this typical night of just sitting in front a film Dawn had fell asleep lying on the couch next to him. Spike turned to her about to comment on the soppy music when he saw her. He smiled lovingly at the young girl. He grabbed a blanket from behind him and laid it over him and Dawn. He turned off the TV that was now advertising how great toilet paper could be and sat in the dark looking at Dawn. Since Buffy had died he had grown closer to Dawn. After revealing his love to Buffy he feared he would never have been able to step foot in the summers house again. But Buffy let him back into her life and after her death he had grieved with Dawn. They talked for nights on end about Buffy, Dawn's school, her mum and even the simplest little things like her favourite board game and how she liked chicken and stars when she was ill. Spike had told her things he was too ashamed to of told Buffy and stories from his past. Spike had realised since Buffy's death how Dawn was no longer a little girl, she had suddenly become a young woman. He reminded her so much of Buffy, how her eyes would light up and the same beautiful smile, which lit up the room. Seeing Dawn lying there she looked beautiful with the moonlight shining in from the window onto her face. Although she had grown up a lot Spike noticed when she was sleeping she looked young and naive again as if she didn't have a care in the world. Seeing her lying there asleep, as if it were the most natural thing to do Spike leaned in and kissed her.  
  
I DON'T KNOW IF YOU THINK I'VE RUSHED THIS STORY TOO MUCH IT IS MY FIRST SO READ AND REPLY TO GIVE ME MORE IDEAS! THANX  
  
xx Jones xx 


	2. grave

I WAS TOTALLY NERVOUS ABOUT PUTTING MY STORY ON THE SITE AND WHAT EVERYONE WOULD THINK OF IT. I AM SO SURPRISED AT HOW NERVOUS I WAS, Just want to say thank you so much to lil savage angel for being so sweet yet you also made me want to rewrite the next bit I have done. I hope it lives up to your expectations.  
  
Looking at the wrong girl Spike slowly moved away after kissing her gently on the forehead.  
  
He smiled at her gently looking at her delicate face and her soft brown hair gently resting on her shoulders. He lightly stroked her hair feeling it's softness against his fingers. He was completely caught up with looking at her face. He couldn't see or hear anything beyond Dawn. He could hear her subtle breathing and how she moved so delicately breathing in and then out. He was mesmerised by her. He had never looked at Dawn in this way before, but tonight it was different. Maybe it was the moonlight, or possibly magic but at that moment, he saw Dawn. He saw how beautiful she was, seeing her as if for the first time. Instinctively before he had time to think, before acknowledging what he was doing he kissed her gently on the lips.  
  
Spike slowly pulled away savouring the moment before the realisation of what he had just done hit him.  
  
Spike leapt back shocked aware at what he had just done. Dawn stirred but didn't wake. Atleast that was one thing he didn't have to worry about. He stood up still surprised at what he had just done. He hadn't meant to it had just happened but he knew it shouldn't of. He was well over 100 and she was just a 16-year-old girl. It was a huge age difference.  
  
He wasn't sure how old Buffy was when she had first met Angel but she must have been about 16 or 17. But with Dawn it felt different. He had seen her grow up; he had memories of her as just a little kid. When she became real she was just 14 and now she was 16. But he could remember before then. He didn't know exactly when the monks had brought her but he knew the memories weren't real and he had never really seen her then. But he still could see her at that age in his mind. Like when he made that truce with Buffy and came back to her house, before her mum and Dawn knew she was a slayer. And before they knew he was a vampire. Dawn had been there, sitting in her multicoloured pyjamas with Joyce. She must have been only 12 or 13. Although it wasn't real and he knew she had never been that age really. God, he thought to himself. He had never been able to get his head around the whole memory altering business. He was surprised how ok Dawn was, that she wasn't completely screwed up. She is just so strong he realised in admiration of her. So brave, he thought as he gently stroked her cheek.  
  
Realising what he was doing he jumped back and stood up away from Dawn, who was still asleep, oblivious.  
  
He didn't even know why he done it? Spike was surprised by his actions more than anything. What if she had woken up? She was too young, nothing could ever happen. Why was he even contemplating it? It would never happen, it could never happen. Xander would stake him tomorrow but if he ever found out he knew Xander could do worse. He wasn't afraid of Xander but he knew how Xander would react. But the others, they had trusted Spike with Dawn; they wouldn't exactly be thrilled by what he had done.  
  
'They can never know,' he said quietly to himself. 'And neither can she,' as he looked in Dawn's direction.  
  
But they never would, he thought. I'm not going to tell them, because there's nothing to tell, it just happened, it didn't mean anything and it will never happen again, he thought, with less and less certainty. Of course he didn't have feelings for her was just stupid, she's sixteen. He shook his head to try and forget what he was thinking.  
  
Just then Tara and Willow opened the door and Spike could hear them talking.  
  
'And you know Walker, he just laughed it off.' Spike heard Tara say.  
  
'Keep it down,' Spike whispered to them as he motioned them to be quiet and pointed at Dawn.  
  
'Spike was everything ok?' Willow asked in a hushed voice but he had grabbed his jacket and was out of the door before she had time to take a breath.  
  
'What's wrong with him?' Tara asked Willow quietly.  
  
'He's always grouchy,' Willow replied. 'Probably a vampire thing,' Willow shrugged it off forgetting about Spike.  
  
'Should we move her?' Tara asked  
  
'No, she looks fine,' Willow said smiling at her.  
  
Once outside in the calm night Spike felt a little better. As the cool night air hit him he took a deep breath. Though not needing the air he began to relax and began walking towards the graveyard. It was a cold night but that didn't bother him. On the way he stopped dead in his tracks and fell to his knees exhausted and began sobbing on the ground. 'Buffy.'  
  
He moved his hands up over his eyes ashamed of his sudden outburst. Angrily he wiped the tears from his eyes. He picked himself up off the ground and began walking quickly to the one place he knew better than any other.  
  
When he arrived at the graveyard he had stopped crying. He walked slowly through the graveyard not needing to look where he was going. He knew exactly which grave he was heading to and how many steps it were from the entrance. He had been here every day since she had been buried. He was glad he couldn't go to the funeral because to him, Buffy wasn't really dead she would come back, and the funeral was a way to say goodbye He didn't need that. She would always be alive to him. Every time he closed his eyes all he dreamed about was Buffy.  
  
Every second he slept he dreamt how he would of done things differently that night. It had been the worst night of his life. He had never hurt so much as when he saw her lying there motionless on the rubble knowing she was dead. Every day in his dreams he saved her in a new and cleverer way than before. He had let her down that night he hadn't been there to protect Dawn for Buffy and then she wouldn't have had to jump. She shouldn't have had to do that. Spike hadn't been there for Dawn when Buffy needed him, but he had promised to be there now Buffy couldn't.  
  
He felt so guilty, being a vampire Spike hadn't truly felt guilt for a long time and now it was a shock. While kissing Dawn for a split second he had been happy, he had forgotten Buffy, forgot she was dead. He felt so ashamed that he had allowed the one woman he had really loved, to be dead. How could he allow himself to feel anything especially happiness knowing the woman he loved was dead and it was his fault. He knew that even if the Scooby's didn't. He knew he was to blame for her leaving. He had failed and Buffy suffered because of it. He didn't know where she was now, where her soul had gone but all he knew was she would still be here if he had protected Dawn tried a little harder. He kicked at a rock to release some of his anger but just hurt his foot. He cursed quietly to himself but ignored the pain shooting through his foot.  
  
He arrived at Buffy's grave and kneeled in front of it. He knew her spirit wasn't here, there were so many different dimensions and she could be in any or them. This though was the place he felt closest to her.  
  
He sat there at the grave just looking at the engravings and thinking about Buffy. Her shampoo commercial hair, how her lips looked when she got angry with him, how much she cared for her friends and Dawn. There he was again thinking about Dawn. He felt angry with himself but this wasn't the place to think of that. This was Buffy's place where it was all about her. It was always about her. Every waking and sleeping moment was about her until tonight and then it wasn't. He had been able to think about something other than her and this made him feel guilty.  
  
Whenever Spike visited Buffy's grave he would completely lose sense of time. He had no idea how long he spent there. He only began to move when he realised that it was almost sunrise. He slowly stood up and began to sadly walk away still thinking of Buffy. What would she have thought of him? He knew the answer, he had the seen the disgust on her face when he told her he was in love with her only this was worse and he knew it. He still loved Buffy and was sure he always would but as he walked home he wondered could he love again? How the hell he was going to react the next time he saw Dawn?  
  
REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I THINK I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING BUT I COULD DO WITH IDEAS. THE REWRITE FO THIS CHAPTER WAS HARD, AS I DIDN'T LIKE WRITING THE ORIGINAL. ANY OPINIONS AS LONG AS IT'S NICE OR CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS INCOURAGED. 


	3. dreams, deep breaths and cookie dough

OK, SO I KNOW SOME PEOPLE THINK IT HAPPENED TOO SOON BUT I TRIED TO MAKE THE SECOND CHAPTER WORK SO I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND WILL ENJOY THE NEXT CHAPTER.  
  
Dawn walked towards a crypt. She looked up at the sky to see hundreds of stars shining down on her. She smiled at the beauty and turned around as if she had expected to see someone. She continued towards the crypt looking around her knowing something was watching her. As she reached the crypt she tried to open the door. It wouldn't move. She pulled harder at the handle and yet the door refused to budge. She looked around for someone who could help her. She knew she needed to get into the crypt everyone was expecting her. She didn't want to be late, what would they think of her.  
  
She turned around once more and saw a figure walking towards her in the distance. She recognised her immediately and began running towards her.  
  
'I knew you would come, but how did you get here? It doesn't matter just as long as you're here. I needed you today. I'm so glad you're here.' Dawn said as she embraced the figure. 'I've missed you mom.'  
  
Joyce didn't say anything, just smiled at her daughter who looked so beautiful.  
  
'You are so grown up sweetheart. I'm so proud of you.' Dawn hugged her mom. It felt so good to be back in her arms. She had missed her mom so much. When Dawn stepped back after what seemed an eternity she was no longer hugging her mother but saw her sister standing in front of her.  
  
'Buffy,' she whispered. 'Where have you been? We've been waiting for you, we have to go I'm late already.'  
  
'What for Dawnie?' Buffy asked her. Dawn was confused, she didn't know where she was going but she knew she had to be there. She turned towards the crypt and easily opened the door. The room was full of flowers. Dawn smiled at how beautiful it looked. She heard someone walk into the crypt behind her. She turned around saw it was Spike and smiled sadly at him.  
  
'You did all this for me?' She asked.  
  
'Of course, I wanted to make it special when you came back.'  
  
'But where am I going?' she asked puzzled.  
  
Spike pushed a strand of hair away from her face. 'You're already there.' Dawn looked around confused, saw Buffy and began walking back towards her leaving Spike inside the crypt.  
  
'Buffy you can't go yet I need you.'  
  
'Dawnie I have to.' Buffy replied.  
  
'No, I won't let you leave me again. I'm not coping without you.'  
  
'Well I guess you could come with me instead but you would never see the flowers again. I suppose if you really wanted to you.' Dawn sat up on the couch and looked around confused momentarily by where she was. Realising it had been a dream and she was sitting on the couch in her living room Dawn fell back, leaning against the couch and began to cry. She sat there alone in the dark with just a thin blanket over her and slowly cried herself to sleep.  
  
Dawn woke the next morning with a yawn and sat up in the glaring sunlight.  
  
'Ow my neck. I will never fall asleep on the sofa ever again!' Dawn looked around; the room was quiet and still. She stood up and headed to the kitchen where she could smell burning pancakes.  
  
'Hey sweetie' Tara said as she saw Dawn enter the room.  
  
'Morning Dawnie, sleep well?' Willow asked as Dawn let out a long yawn.  
  
'Why didn't you wake me up?' Dawn asked.  
  
'Well you looked so comfortable, we didn't want to disturb you.' Willow said apologetically. 'How about pancakes to make up for it?' Dawn smiled at Willow. 'Sure.'  
  
'So any demon activity last night?' Dawn asked as she began on her pancakes.  
  
'Not really,' Willow replied. 'But Giles, Tara and I will be patrolling tonight. Are you ok alone tonight? Maybe we should call Spike?'  
  
'Good idea. We should call him.' Tara answered as Willow picked up the phone.  
  
Spike woke by the sound of ringing. He sat up and looked around wandering what it was. He recognised it as the mobile he had stolen as couple of weeks ago. He was going to flog it but now the Scooby's could call him any time they wanted. Bloody brilliant. He cursed under his breath knowing it would be them, no one else had the number, except maybe the guy who's phone it was.  
  
He stood up wondering where the phone was. The ring tone was so frustrating Spike would probably smash the phone, if he could find it. He jumped downstairs of his crypt with no clue where it was. He tripped over something kicking it out of the way followed by a string of curses under his breath.  
  
He finally lifted up a shirt and saw the phone.  
  
'Hello?'  
  
'Hi Spike its Willow. We were wandering if you could come and take care of Dawn tonight, is that ok?  
  
'Umm.. I don't know about tonight I'm kind of busy.' Spike replied as he began pacing the floor. He wanted to avoid having to see Dawn so soon after what had happened.  
  
'Well it's just; we just need some one to take care of her. It would only be for a few hours while we go on patrol..'  
  
'Wouldn't it be better if I came with you. It would be a lot easier if I were there can't Xander or Anya look after her or something.'  
  
'No they're busy tonight.'  
  
'I'll see, alright.'  
  
'Ok, come round tonight. Thanks Spike. Bye.'  
  
'But I didn't say yes. Willow? Willow? Bloody hell' Spike said as he punched the wall.  
  
Spike threw the phone onto the floor unsure if it was broken or not. He was going to have to see Dawn tonight. He fell into his chair annoyed at being such a pushover. He knew there was no way out of it without making the others suspicious. He had planned on avoiding them all especially Dawn but now he was going to have to see her. As long as he always went on patrol everything would be fine. He was sure of it. It was hard enough seeing the Buffybot and now he had to avoid Dawn as well.  
  
After Sunset  
  
Spike walked up the drive, stopped at the door, took a deep breath and knocked on the door. As the door opened he saw Dawn standing there smiling.  
  
'Hey Spike.' She said as she fiddled with a strand hair.  
  
'Where are the others?' Spike questioned looking around her to check they weren't alone.  
  
'They already went out patrolling. They were acting weird after Tara talked to Xander on the phone.'  
  
'Probably nothing Niblet, just some demon or other.' Spike replied as they moved through the hall to the kitchen.  
  
'Your right they can take care of themselves, I'm just worrying over nothing after Buffy and everything. So I don't know if you usually do this but.do you want to make cookies? I was thinking about Buffy earlier and I need a sugar overload.'  
  
Spike smiled at her. It was easy to remember how young Dawn was when she said things like that. Because she was younger than him, a lot younger than him, he knew he couldn't dwell on what had happened last night. He just had to forget about it.  
  
'Why not,' Spike replied. Although he doesn't like the taste the cookies, he may still enjoy making them.  
  
Spike watched Dawn stirring the cookie mixture. Somehow she had managed to get flour on her cheek. Spike smiled at her.  
  
'What? What is so funny? Dawn asked embarrassed.  
  
'Just some flour.' Spike replied pointing to his cheek to show Dawn where the flour was. Dawn wiped her hand over her face trying to rub it off but managing to get even more flour all over her face.  
  
'Here,' Spike said laughing. He came towards her and began to wipe her face with a napkin. Still smiling Spike finished cleaning her cheek but didn't step away. He touched her cheek and then cupped his hand around her face and moved in to kiss her. Dawn neither pulled away nor moved towards him. She was too shocked. As Spike kissed her, Dawn felt herself kissing him back. She didn't think, just continued to kiss him. Knowing this wasn't the right thing to do Spike pulled away. Dawn looked at him shocked. Spike stared her unable to form words.  
  
'Spike?' Dawn asked. Spike just looked away embarrassed at he had done, at what he had allowed himself to do. Just as they were both trying to contemplate what had just happened. The front door opened and they both heard Xander shout.  
  
'Dawn? Spike?'  
  
'Um.in here Xander.' Dawn shouted back.  
  
Dawn turned back to Spike but the back door was open and he had left into the night.  
  
I FOUND THIS CHAPTER HARD TO WRITE AS THERE ARE SO MANY DIFFERENT SECTIONS TO IT BUT I THOUGHT THE STORY NEEDED MORE. HOPE YOU LIKE IT. R&R. Love you all that have reviewed x 


	4. are you sick sweetie?

OK, I AM NOT FEELING TOO WELL WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER SO IF IT SUCKS JUST TELL ME AND I CAN REDO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. I'M LOOKING FOR A BETA SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED EMAIL ME.  
  
Dawn looked out through the kitchen door trying to see Spike knowing that he had gone.  
  
'Dawn, hey.' Said Xander as he entered the room. 'What you up to? Where's Spike?  
  
'Oh he's just left,' Dawn said closing the door as Willow entered the room.  
  
'Dawn are you ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick sweetie?'  
  
'Oh no, I'm fine,' she replied trying not to look as guilty as she felt. If any of them found out what had happened, Spike would be as good as dead. And she couldn't let that happen. Although she had never been so unsure of how she felt about him, she knew she didn't want him dead, or in Spike's case deader.  
  
'Dawnie we've finished the slaying and were wondering if you were up for some crazy partying at the Bronze. We've all been down since. well for a while and we haven't been there for ages. What do you think? Up for some grooving?' Willow asked obviously worried about Dawn.  
  
' I don't know guys I was in the middle of cookie making.' Dawn replied. She didn't tell them the real reason she wasn't coming. She wanted to see if Spike would come back. She needed to see him. There were too many thoughts and questions running through her head which she needed answering and he was the only person who could.  
  
'Well I've got to change so you've got some time if you change your mind.' Willow said still trying to convince Dawn the Bronze was a good idea. Dawn smiled at them. They had been trying so hard since Buffy had died and she knew they were all hurting too but they always made sure she was ok first. She was so grateful to them for everything they had done, for how they had helped her so much and yet she needed help now and knew she couldn't ask them.  
  
Dawn turned away from the others trying to hide the real reason she didn't want to go and began to wipe down the kitchen surfaces and tidy up the kitchen. As she washed up she continued to sneak looks out the window searching for any sign of movement outside, just hoping to see Spike lurking in the bushes. She had imagined Spike kissing her before but never as real as this. Of course it must have been a dream. Spike would never of kissed her really. He was in love with her sister. So there was no way. Dawn knew how stupid she sounded. She closed her eyes remembering every moment of it. She looked around the kitchen knowing the kiss had happened right here in this kitchen less than 5 minutes ago.  
  
It had been her first kiss. Her first kiss had been with a vampire, an evil vampire who she had hated, who had been her sister's mortal enemy. Ok, shouldn't her first kiss have been magical with someone she cared about, who cared about her and who didn't run away immediately afterwards. That was never a good sign. She knew he had left because the others had arrived but what if they hadn't what would she be doing now. Would she still be standing here dreaming of what could have happened rather than what had? Life wasn't supposed to be this crazy.  
  
She checked the clock on the wall constantly and as the minutes ticked by she realised he wasn't coming back. She was going to have to go and see him tomorrow. She knew if she stayed here she would just sit around and wonder about Spike. So instead of feeling sad and anxious she ran up the stairs and shouted down to Xander and the others:  
  
'Just give me 5 minutes, I'm coming too.'  
  
She could wonder about him at the Bronze instead surrounded by friends and a band. That would be more fun wouldn't it?  
  
**************  
  
Spike ran through the night. He couldn't believe what he had done. He arrived at the entrance to the graveyard that contained Buffy's grave and stopped suddenly but couldn't go in. He stood there because he knew he couldn't go to see her knowing what he had done. He lit a cigarette as he nervously began pacing up and down the entrance. He couldn't go and explain to her what he had done because he wasn't sure. Spike couldn't stand there making excuses for himself because he knew there weren't any. He knew what he had done was wrong. He had played this same game in his head the night before and he wasn't about to repeat last night. Suddenly losing his temper, he kicked at a fence, surprised by his outburst.  
  
But this time it was different. This time Dawn had kissed him back. This young woman he had promised Buffy he would protect. Buffy had trusted him with Dawn and he had let her down again. He had tried to avoid Dawn but that hadn't worked. He admitted to himself he hadn't tried very hard. He remembered the kiss exactly every second of it. How different it was to how he had imagined it would be. Yet he had never considered it or even thought about Dawn like that before last night. He had changed everything. He had no idea what Dawn thought of him now. Did she hate him? What if the next time he went round there would she be standing with Giles and the rest of the Scooby gang wielding crosses, stakes and holy water. Or had she felt exactly the same as him, confused and scared. Although when kissing Dawn he had felt something, it was different from what he had felt for Buffy, for what he still felt for Buffy. He still loved her and knew there was nothing that could stop that. But what if Dawn could. He shook his head trying to get that thought out of his mind, dropped the cigarette and headed away from his crypt to the Bronze. The one place he wouldn't be alone and able to think about Dawn and Buffy.  
  
I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT BUT I WANTED TO KEEP THE NEXT SCENE ALL TOGETHER ON TI'S OWN. R&R TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. 


	5. balcony with a view

OK SO I'VE BEEN PLANNING THE STORY OUT AND BASICALLY HAVE MOST OF THE PLOT SORTED. IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS R&R TO HELP ME MAKE IT BETTER.  
  
Xander noticed Dawn had been quieter than usual as they walked to the Bronze. Usually she would have been excited about going to the Bronze. Maybe she was just thinking about Buffy Xander thought. He felt sorry for Dawn because of everything she had gone through. Her mum and her sister both dying and there was the whole Glory situation.  
  
'Hey Dawn, want to race to the Bronze?' Xander asked smiling.  
  
'Xander I'm not a kid,' Dawn replied.  
  
'So what, I am,' Xander said smiling. Dawn smiled back at him while they continued to the Bronze.  
  
***************  
  
As Spike arrived at the Bronze he didn't notice any vampires around and let out a sigh of relief. At least he probably wouldn't have to do any slaying tonight. He could just sit and mope. Oh god, Spike thought I'm turning into Angel. Spike headed straight to the bar. The place was packed and it would probably still get busier. He ordered a beer and searched the room. The band playing were a bunch of guys who Spike wouldn't have even bothered to bite if he still could. The band was trying to play a couple of guitars and a drum kit without success. Spike groaned as they began another song. He headed away from the dance floor and towards the stairs that lead to the balcony. The balcony was less crowded than below and Spike was able to stand alone staring at the crowd thinking.  
  
As Spike sipped his beer he began to think about Dawn and their kiss. He could see her face so clearly as if her was entering the Bronze. She was so beautiful, her hair flowed down to her waist as it shimmered in the light from the stage. Ok Spike your dreams are getting too realistic he thought to himself. As he took another swig from his beer and as he looked down again she was still standing there, still looking so beautiful. He sighed as he saw Willow and the others come arrive after her. As she moved to a table she laughed at something Anya had said and her smile caused Spike to smile. Typical she would have to come, he thought, can't a bloke get a drink in peace. But as he watched her, a smile spread across his face, seeing her laughing and enjoying her self for once.  
  
He considered leaving but the possibility of just being able to sit and watch her without her knowing he was there was too good. As she talked and laughed with her friends he saw how happy she could be. She glowed. But as he continued to watch her, he noticed that every now and then she would sigh quietly and look away from the table as if her mind was elsewhere. He watched her as she got up to and headed over to the dance floor with Xander. As she began to dance Spike was unable to look away. She danced so gracefully in time to the music and he just stood there watching her and no one else.  
  
***************  
  
As soon as Dawn entered the Bronze she heard the band. She stood with Anya searching for a table to sit at. '.And the farmer said to the second farmer, those were tomatoes you put in your wheelbarrow.' Anya said finishing her joke. Dawn had only managed to catch the last bit of the joke because of the music in the Bronze but she laughed anyway not wanting to hurt Anya's feelings and so she wouldn't have to explain it to her again.  
  
Tara waved at them having found a table and they headed over. As Dawn sat down, Xander was whispering intensely to Willow who was equally talking in a hushed voice.  
  
'Guys, what are you talking about?' Dawn asked.  
  
'Nothing much really, just um. something that happened at the site today.' Xander said trying not to sound suspicious. Dawn looked at him puzzled. Tara quickly changed the subject and suggested dancing. Dawn smiled at them as they began having a normal conversation about the demon they had killed earlier that night.  
  
'I don't want to spoil this brilliant conversation we're having but should we really be discussing this at the Bronze?' Dawn looked at them.  
  
'You're totally right Dawnie, not the place, ok.' Willow replied. Suddenly they were talking about the best way to cook popcorn without making the butter melt. Dawn had absolutely no idea how they had got onto this topic. So she just sat there daydreaming for a while about Spike and what she going to say to him and when she was going to next see him.  
  
No wait I came here so I wouldn't have to think about him, Dawn thought correcting herself.  
  
She was distracted from this though by Xander rising to his feet and standing in front of Dawn.  
  
'Would you like to dance?' Dawn looked around at the others where Anya was debating with Tara what sounded like cats or hats she couldn't be sure.  
  
'Sure,' she replied smiling back at Xander and began to follow him to the dance floor.  
  
As she began dancing she was able to forget all about Spike except for the occasional feeling she got, that she was being watched. She shook her head and continued to dance.  
  
After a few minutes dancing Anya came over and Dawn felt it was time for her to return to the table with Willow and Tara. As she walked off the dance floor she accidentally walked into someone. The guy turned around.  
  
'Kevin, hey.' Dawn said realising it was her friend. 'How are you? Janice said you did well in that swim meet last week?'  
  
'I'm good thanks, it was cool, came second.' He replied.  
  
'That's great, you haven't turned into a fish have you?' Dawn asked remembering what had happened to Buffy at school.  
  
'What? Dawn I can't hear you,' he said pointing at the band. Dawn pointed over to their table where Tara and Willow were. She headed over to the table with Kevin.  
  
' Hey guys this is Kevin, from school.' Dawn said as she greeted the others.  
  
' Hey,' Willow and Tara both said in union. 'We were going to dance, will you be ok?'  
  
'Sure,' Dawn replied certainly.  
  
Dawn sat there talking to Kevin about totally irrelevant school stuff. She liked Kevin, he was sweet and he had those charming features which made him handsome yet is personality hadn't grown into them so he still seemed childish. Her friend had such a crush on him and Dawn could understand why, though she didn't feel the same. She still liked someone else, someone a little different.  
  
***************  
  
Spike continued to watch Dawn dance until she moved away to the table. He saw every move she made, unable to see anything else. He saw her smile when she saw a boy. This boy was probably Dawn's age and was obviously someone she knew. Although they didn't seem too close Spike was still jealous. He was jealous that the boy could talk to her normally whereas he couldn't. The next time he sees Dawn Spike won't be able to act like that. It will be awkward, uncomfortable and yet he doubted they could ever act 'normally' again like she was with this kid.  
  
He hated this feeling being jealous of a schoolboy. If it had been of an adult it wouldn't have irritated him as much. But he was jealous of a kid. An irresponsible boy, Dawn's age. This made him realise how young Dawn was. She was this guy's age and he was thinking how immature the guy must be. She was his age not yet an adult so why did he feel like this. Why was this boy making him so angry?  
  
He threw the beer bottle onto the floor smashing it into pieces.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn sat, talking to Kevin she still felt as if someone was watching her. She looked around but all she saw was the glare from the stage lights and everyone involved with their own lives. As she turned back to Kevin she realised she had never noticed how funny Kevin was but also how kind he seemed.  
  
Just then a taller guy who was a year or two older than Dawn and Kevin came up to the table and put an arm around Kevin. The boy then sat down next to Dawn and smiled at her.  
  
'Hey,' Dawn said a little confused by this total stranger.  
  
'I'm Joe. I saw you from across the room and asked Kevin to introduce us. 'Hey,' Dawn said more enthusiastically taking his hand.  
  
'I'm Dawn, oh, cold hands.'  
  
'Yeh,' Joe said smiling.  
  
There was something a little weird about Joe that Dawn just couldn't work out but as she began to chat to him she forgot her initial thoughts and just began to enjoy her self. Guys never usually liked Dawn and to have Joe and Spike both liking her in one night was a little weird but she liked it. As the evening continued she completely forgot about Spike and what had happened earlier that evening.  
  
When Joe asked her to dance she didn't hesitate to say yes because she was feeling so much happier than she had in a while. As they moved to the side of the dance floor nearest the door she looked around for any sign of the others. She couldn't see them and panicked a little until she saw the back of Xander's head at the bar. She began to dance in time to the music allowing her self to forget about everything and to just dance.  
  
Dawn let out a sigh. A sigh to show how happy she felt, ignoring a nagging feeling that something wasn't right.  
  
***************  
  
Spike stared Dawn's table, now another boy was sitting there as well. Great, Spike thought sarcastically. Spike was beginning to get tired of watching all these boys around and contemplated going over to her and kissing her in front of everyone even the Scooby gang. But he knew he wouldn't. He walked down the steps and got another beer from the bar.  
  
He returned up to the balcony that had become empty since he had left it except for a couple sitting in the corner. He stood leaning on the railing sipping his beer. His eyes wandered across the crowd until he saw Dawn dancing again. He was bored now and was considering leaving until he saw the face of the boy and recognised him. He froze realising who he was.  
  
'Typical she would fall for another vampire.' Spike said sarcastically out loud. He turned quickly to warn her or the other scoobies and was confronted with the girl who had been sitting with a guy earlier. He looked over to where they had been sitting and saw the lad slumped in his chair unconscious surrounded by a pool of blood. He had been so preoccupied he hadn't even noticed. He turned back to the vampire and tried to push past her.  
  
'Got to go save a girl,' Spike said to the vampire pushing her backwards onto the floor.  
  
'You're not going anywhere, my friend needs a snack.' The vampire motioned towards the boy and Dawn, smiled evilly at him. Spike looked over to where Dawn had been dancing and saw she was being pushed towards the door by the vampire.  
  
Spike turned back to the girl and just saw her fist coming at his head before he fell to the floor.  
  
SO I SAID I WAS GOING TO KEEP THE BRONZE SCENE TOGETHER BUT IT WAS GETTING LONG AND I HADN'T UPDATED IN A WHILE SO I CHANGED MY MIND. R&R WITH ANY IDEAS TO MAKE IT BETTER. I'M STILL LOOKING FOR A BETA SO R&R OR EMAIL ME. 


	6. crescendo

IT'S BEEN A WHILE WITH CHRISTMAS AND THE IMPENDING DOOM OF EXAMS IN THE NEW YEAR BUT HERE IS THE NEXT CHAPTER A LITTLE DELAYED.  
  
Dawn continued to dance unaware that Spike was in trouble. But as the song got louder Dawn felt Joe pushing her away from the dance floor.  
  
'Hey,' Dawn said annoyed. 'What's going on?'  
  
As Dawn looked at Joe, she saw he was now smiling. But this was different. As Dawn looked at him waiting for him to speak, he caught her off guard and pushed her again towards the door. Dawn went easily still in shock by what was happening. As he grabbed her by her waist and began carrying her through the crowded room her survival instincts kicked in and she tried to kick the boy in the shins. She couldn't understand why he was doing this. She searched the room looking for anyone she knew. Kevin was gone; she could still see Xander laughing with Willow at the bar but didn't see her with their backs turned.  
  
'Willow, Xander!' Dawn shouted. The music had reached a crescendo and there was no way they would be able to hear her. Dawn refused to give in and allow him to take her.  
  
With one arm wrapped around Dawn, the boy tried to use the other to cover her mouth and shut her up without anyone else noticing. As he covered her mouth she bit into his wrist. Expecting him to release his grasp she tried to move but he merely cursed, ignoring the pain and moved towards the door.  
  
As Dawn struggled more trying to escape, it was becoming more obvious what the boy was doing. He turned her round so they were face to face and smiled at her still holding her tightly in his arms preventing her from getting away.  
  
Joe looked at her their faces almost touching standing perfectly still. Dawn couldn't help it but stop struggling for a moment to look at him and wonder why he was doing this. Trying to find an answer by staring at his face. And in that moment she felt a breeze of cold air. She looked around and saw she was outside the bronze already. She searched around her looking for a weapon and as he came towards her she swung her arm and hit him across the face with the lid of a trashcan. He swung away from her in pain but turned back immediately.  
  
She no longer saw Joe's face just the vampire. Dawn let out a scream and began to run.  
  
***************  
  
Spike sat up quickly ignoring the throbbing pain in the side of his head. He kicked the vampire in the ankle knocking her to the ground giving him an easy run to the stairs and down to Dawn. As he ran over the vampire she grabbed him by the arm and with all her strength through him against the back wall of the balcony. Spike slowly stood up from the pain in his arm. He could taste blood seeping from a deep cut above his eye.  
  
The vampire ran at him and hit him around the head. When she tried to do it again Spike was ready she grabbed her wrist and twisted it round and pushed her towards the railings. He made it to the top of the stairs before the vampire had him around the neck.  
  
For a moment he saw Dawn's panicked face as she was pushed out of the door. Spike warped to his demon face, turned to the girl and hit her sending her into the Bronze wall. He pulled broke off the leg of one of the wooden chairs he had knocked over and went up to the vampire a crumpled heap on the floor. He picked her up by her hair to stake her through the heart. He the quickly turned down the stairs and out into the night to find Dawn.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn ran round the side of the Bronze. If she could find the side door she might be able to get back inside to Willow and the others. She found the door and began to hammer on it frantically. She turned her head and saw the vampire running towards her. She knew if she continued to wait here, he would catch her. She saw an alley to her left and ran in her heels, towards it. She was going to hide but the vampire had caught up to her quicker than she had expected. She threw a trashcan at him hoping it would slow him down but he merely tossed it aside. She ran back out towards a main road. She recognised it immediately.  
  
She turned to see where the vampire was, but he had gone. She looked around worried. Was it a good sign he had gone, or he was watching her? She heard a noise behind her and turned around quickly seeing the vampire right next to her. She tried to circle back but fell over and let out a scream. Stupid heels, she thought. I am never wearing them again. As the vampire stood over her blocking the light from a streetlight she realised if he killed her she would never wear shoes again.  
  
Dawn tried to push him off but he grabbed at her hands preventing her from moving. She closed her eyes waiting for it to be over with knowing she was helpless.  
  
***************  
  
As the cool night air hit him. Spike stopped in the road searching for Dawn's scent. He sensed it and ran towards the frightened girl. He heard her scream and warped into his game face furious with the other vampire for hurting Dawn. He turned the corner of the street and looked across to see Dawn lying across the ground with the vampire sitting on top of her ready to bite her.  
  
Spike ran at the vampire lifting it up off Dawn and throwing it to the ground. He stepped across to him and began punching him across the face. He hit the monster several times until his face was just a bloody mess. Spike was taking all his anger out on this vampire.  
  
'Spike?' Dawn asked as she slowly sat up clutching her wrist from when the vampire had fallen on it.  
  
Spike turned to Dawn forgetting the vampire and helped her up. 'Your hurt,' Dawn said seeing the cut above his eye.  
  
'Yeah,' Spike said acknowledging it. 'You too,' He said taking her hand.  
  
'It's ok, it'll just bruise.' Dawn said. She looked up at Spike his face no longer looking like a vampire. She stared into his eyes. He stared at her. They stood there for a moment, her hand in his. Dawn smiled at him unsure of what he was thinking.  
  
As Spike looked at her, he saw how beautiful her smile was which just made him smile at her. He moved towards her and went to kiss Dawn and they were so close. He moved so slowly, unsure of himself, unsure of whether this was what Dawn wanted. As their lips were about to meet, Spike heard a clatter to the side. Although he didn't want to move away he had to. He didn't have time to regret it as immediately the same vampire they had forgotten about had knocked Spike over.  
  
He pulled at Dawn's shoulders and was going in to bite her so she did what any girl would do. Screamed and kicked him as hard as she could between the legs.  
  
The vampire stepped back obviously wounded and surprised at the attack. Spike seized his chance and punched the vampire knocking him to the ground.  
  
'Dawn I need a stake.' Spike said looking around. Dawn searched the alley until she found something suitable. Dawn turned back to Spike who was now kicking the vampire on the floor.  
  
'Here.' She handed it to him as the vampire kicked out knocking Dawn to the floor.  
  
'Dawn,' Spike shouted worried looking at her lying on the ground. He quickly dusted the vampire and leaned over Dawn.  
  
'Niblet, you ok?' Spike asked worried.  
  
Dawn sat up a little shaken but ok. 'I'm fine,' she said as Spike helped her to her feet. They stood for a moment bruised and shocked.  
  
'Dawn.' Spike started. But before he could say anything else Dawn had moved closer to him, put her arms around his neck and began to kiss him. She kissed him lightly and then looked into his eyes. Immediately they began to kiss again more passionately this time both wanting it to happen.  
  
'Dawn?' Almost as quickly as it happened they pulled away  
  
They both heard a frantic shout. 'Dawn are you there?'  
  
'It's Willow,' Dawn explained recognising the voice.  
  
'I'm over here guys,' she shouted back. They moved apart quickly as the others came around the corner.  
  
'Are you ok?' Willow asked worried. 'We came back from the bar and you had gone, we panicked.'  
  
'It was just a vampire, but Spike was here, so it's all good.' Dawn said trying not to sound as guilty as she felt. She was so glad it was dark and Spike and the others couldn't see her blushing.  
  
I should take off,' Spike said looking at Dawn. 'Um. maybe I'll see you later.' Spike said trying not to seem weird or suspicious.  
  
IT HAS TAKEN ME FOREVER TO WRITE THIS AND I'VE BEEN BLOWING OFF STUDYING. SO I DON'T KNOW WHEN THE NEXT CHAPTER UP BUT SOON I HOPE. R&R WITH ANY IDEAS OR COMMENTS x x x 


	7. waiting for sunset

OK I HAVE REALSIED THAT THE LAST 4 CHAPTERS WERE ALL 1 NIGHT MAKING IT A LITTLE DULL. AFTER THIS IT SHOULD BE MORE SPACED OUT. HOPE YOU ENJOY. WOULD APRECIATE ANY FEEDBACK. XXX  
  
Dawn woke to sunlight glaring through her window. She smiled feeling the rays lying across her face. She stood up still too asleep to remember anything. As she looked around her room she saw resting on her chair, the clothes she had worn the night before, the night when she had made out with Spike, again.  
  
It was becoming a habit. Dawn was unsure if this was a good thing. She knew she enjoyed the kissing and she really liked Spike but there were so many reasons why it was a wrong thing.  
  
As Dawn got dressed she promised herself she would stop thinking about him. She had tried to understand it last night by writing it in her diary but it wasn't going to make any more sense now. She sighed and shook her perfectly straight hair trying to get all thoughts of him out of her head.  
  
She contemplated skipping 4th period and going to see Spike before lunch but dismissed the idea almost immediately, knowing Spike would probably be asleep and she had promised Buffy she would stop skipping school. She owed it to her. Dawn's good mood from when she woke was rapidly disintegrating.  
  
She left the house having said goodbye to Willow and Tara, and being able to avoid them making her eat breakfast. As she closed the front door and began walking down the path into the sunlight. She brightened up a little, and froze in shock. She was going to have to go and see Spike tonight.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn walked to the graveyards she considered maybe she should of come before the sun had gone down. She wasn't afraid but knew if she got attacked again in 2 nights she would begin to freak out. As she neared his crypt she realised she shaking. She was cold but knew she was more worried about Spike than the weather. She admitted to herself she maybe should have worn a more suitable outfit. She hadn't even thought about bringing a warm jacket.  
  
She knocked on the wooden door. She held her ear up against the door but couldn't hear anything from inside. She slowly pushed open the door and looked in. The place was dark. She slowly walked in scanning the room looking for movement. She walked to the centre of the room. 'Spike?' she questioned, 'are you there?' She was met with silence. She guessed he had gone out. What if he doesn't want me here? She suddenly thought worried. What if he just wants to forget about what happened?  
  
Dawn stepped towards the door and paused. No, she thought. I have to sort this out even if I don't want to. Buffy's stubbornness had always annoyed Dawn and realised she had caught it too. Great, she thought. She moved towards the tomb and picked up an open bottle of whiskey. She sniffed at it and scrunched her nose up as she pulled away. She sat on the tomb banging her legs on it waiting for Spike.  
  
***************  
  
Spike was annoyed he couldn't see Dawn during the day because she was at school and it was sunlight. He promised himself that as soon as it was dusk he would go over there. But as the darkness fell he found himself getting nervous about seeing her.  
  
Come on Spike sort yourself out, you're a bloody mess. With that he took a swig of whiskey and left the crypt. He was a vampire he could handle this.  
  
***************  
  
The whiskey had given him some courage by the time he arrived at the Summer's house.. He knocked on the door and looked through the gap in it. No sign of movement. A couple of years ago he would have just tried to break the door down even without an invite. But now he 'liked' Dawn and Buffy he couldn't do that.  
  
He sighed knowing no one was home. Where the hell was Dawn? What could she being doing at night? She wouldn't be at the Bronze, not two school nights in a row. What about the Magic Box? He really didn't feel like seeing all them. He wouldn't be able to talk to Dawn there, and he didn't fancy seeing the others.  
  
He would just have to see her another time. He sighed wishing he had that bottle of whiskey he had left in his crypt.  
  
***************  
  
As he arrived at the entrance to his graveyard his senses heightened. He could smell Dawn. As he got nearer to his crypt his senses increased. So she had the same idea as him. He took a deep breath even without a need of oxygen and opened the door. He saw Dawn jump and looked at her unsure about what the hell was going to happen.  
  
Dawn stood up awkwardly as Spike entered. She had never been more nervous in her life. She waited unsure of everything. Spike walked over to her still in silence. The room was dark but Spike could easily see Dawn. As he stood there, he saw the concern on her face; she looks so serious he thought.  
  
Neither had planned what to say and as the silence was getting longer Dawn knew she had to say something.  
  
'So..' She started with. So not original, great he's going to think I'm such a loser.  
  
'Um.Spike?' she said more questioning, as he still hadn't said anything.  
  
Spike still didn't know what to say. He slowly walked closer to Dawn he was just a couple of inches away from her face. He smiled at Dawn, who automatically smiled back. Seeing his cool deep eyes looking at her made her happier. She didn't know what to say. She didn't want to say anything. She could have just stood there staring into his eyes for an eternity. But that wasn't going to happen. She slowly pulled away and then realised what she truly wanted.  
  
She quickly kissed Spike and pulled away again waiting for a reaction. He smiled at her, he had been too afraid to kiss her but now, everything was different. He kissed her passionately and slowly with every emotion he felt for her. As they continued to kiss Dawn wrapped her arms around the back of his head feeling for the first time as if she belonged to him.  
  
This was the first guy she had ever kissed although she didn't have any experience she knew he was good. They had no idea how long they kissed for. But Dawn realised after a long time she needed air. She slowly pulled away still smiling.  
  
'Spike do we need to talk about this?' Dawn asked questioning.  
  
'I guess Niblet,' Spike said still unsure what to say. Dawn smiled at the pet name he gave her. She had always liked it, thought she used to think it was childish. Now all she felt was affection.  
  
Spike gently took her hand and led her to the armchair sitting in front of the TV. Dawn was surprised by how gentle he was for a vampire. As he sat down he looked around worried about where Dawn should sit. He didn't usually have guests that stayed longer than to fight. She sat on one of the arms of the chair enabling her still to be close to Spike but without having to think about leaning in to kiss him which was all she really wanted to do.  
  
Ok, maybe just one kiss, she thought leaning in, and then we should talk.  
  
WASN'T SURE IF THIS WAS THE PLACE TO STOP BUT.. PLEASE R&R I HAVE MOST OF THE STORY PLANNED BUT ANY MORE IDEAS, COMMENTS and COMPLAINTS WOULD REALLY HELP ME OUT. THANX x 


	8. it's good to talk

SO I'M KIND OF REWRITING THE EARLIER CHAPTERS JUST TO MAKE THEM BETTER NOT TO CHANGE ANY STORY LINES. PLEASE READ AND REPLY BECAUSE KNOWING PEOPLE LIKE MY STORY MAKES ME SMILE.  
  
As Dawn lent in to kiss him and he lovingly returned the kiss.  
  
'Dawn we do need to talk about this,' Spike said being the voice of reason. Dawn pouted at him.  
  
'You're right, I know we have to.' Dawn sighed as she sat back grasping her hands. A long silence followed them as they both sat there not knowing where to start. Dawn looked around the crypt avoiding Spike's gaze. She knew Spike was looking at her and it began to make her feel a little uncomfortable. She looked back over at Spike and with a nervous smile. Spike could sense how nervous she was and didn't know how to put her at ease.  
  
'Dawn, I don't know what to say,' Spike began scowling feeling an idiot. Dawn giggled surprised at how sweet he is. Dawn knew that after he had made an effort, she would have to try now.  
  
'Ok, so do we really need to talk?' Dawn questioned. 'It's just I don't know what to say either. We are just going to end up sitting here not talking'  
  
'I don't either, but we need to sort out what happened. I want to apologise for kissing you like that. I should have asked. I shouldn't have done it at all.'  
  
'What if I'm glad you did Spike? Dawn replied looking straight at Spike seriously. 'I need someone to be close to since I don't have my mum or Buffy. What if I wouldn't mind that person being you?' Dawn said a little sheepishly looking at him worried and almost afraid by his reaction. Spike looked at this beautiful girl who was being so honest with him. He felt honoured that she could. He took her hand gently in his and stared into her eyes.  
  
'Dawn, I really like you, you're pretty and smart and . I feel like a kid in high school but.' Spike said embarrassed. Dawn looked at him affectionately and moved her other hand onto his tenderly.  
  
'Well I am a high school kid and think it's great,' she said smiling widely. 'I like you too Spike,' said Dawn giggling.  
  
'I'm just worried about what this means, what's going to change? I mean we are going to act differently around each other. I feel like a high school kid around you Dawn, but I'm not. I'm a lot older.'  
  
'I don't care,' Dawn replied honestly.  
  
'And what about the others?' Spike said trying to convince himself more than anything.  
  
'So what about them? Ok so I know they will freak out like they did with Buffy and Angel.' Spike looked away quickly. Dawn saw him and quickly changed the subject. 'Well, we will just have to not tell them for now.' Dawn said quickly kissing him. 'And you can cope being normal while they are not around, right? Well as normal as you are usually.' Dawn giggled.  
  
'I can try. But how am I supposed to not kiss you whenever I feel like it.' It's going to be hard, everything has changed.'  
  
'Well. yeah,' Dawn replied. 'The last couple of times we have seen each other we have ended up making out. I think things have already changed. And anyway.' Dawn continued, quickly kissing him. 'Change is good right?'  
  
'Right you are Niblet,' said Spike kissing her hand.  
  
'So we're good?' Dawn said smiling.  
  
Spike didn't need to answer. He stood up tugging Dawn up by her waist and kissed her overpoweringly nearly knocking her to her feet. She smiled kissing him back. For the first time in a long time, Dawn was truly happy and it was all because of Spike.  
  
HOPE YOU LIKE IT. R & R AND ENJOY. 


	9. so this is what normal feels like

OK I KNOW IT'S BEEN A WHILE BUT I'VE HAD EXAMS THAT FINISH NEXT WEEK. SO I'VE ONLY HAD A CHANCE TO UPDATE THIS WEEKEND. HOPE YOU ENJOY.  
  
Dawn stood in the kitchen trying to hold back a little smile from Willow, Tara and the Buffybot, as they got ready for a night of patrolling. She had been so happy recently because of Spike but didn't want the others to notice any difference in her or they would start asking questions.  
  
If they found out about Spike and her they would certainly freak. They would stop them seeing each other and although she didn't like keeping it a secret this way was better and a little more exciting and fun.  
  
Dawn turned her head as she heard a knock at the door. Her smile widened and she almost ran to the door nearly taking a lamp with her. She flung open the door hoping it was Spike and tried to hide her disappointment when she saw Giles standing there.  
  
'Oh hey Giles, What are you doing here?' Dawn said as she moved behind him to shut the door. She quickly looked out into the darkness searching for Spike. As she closed the door she turned back to Giles realising she hadn't heard a word he'd just said. Luckily Willow came through the hall at that moment.  
  
'Hey Giles,' Willow greeted him. 'Are you ready to go? Xander is going to meet us at the graveyard nearest his apartment. Spike was supposed to be coming out with us but he's late so he can stay with Dawn when he gets here.' Dawn's ears picked up when she heard Spike mentioned.  
  
'Yeah that's fine, he should be hear soon anyway and it's only just got dark.' Dawn said looking out the window.  
  
'You're right sweetie, Giles can you just help me grab some weapons,' Willow said as she headed to the kitchen and back to Tara.  
  
Dawn sat down on the sofa flicking open her algebra book sighing at her homework. She could hear Giles trying to explain the difference between two types of demons Dawn couldn't even pronounce. One began with a Gwagh and the other she was sure had an exclamation mark in the middle.  
  
As she sat there realising she should of called Janice before even contemplating starting her homework she heard another knock at the door.  
  
'Dawn can you get that?' Dawn heard Willow shout from the kitchen.  
  
'Sure,' Dawn replied as she stood up straightening her skirt. She moved slowly to the door taking a deep breath before opening it.  
  
A huge smile spread across her face as she saw Spike standing there. She opened the door wider allowing him in.  
  
'Hey, she said quietly yet full of happiness. Spike looked down the hall and into the kitchen looking for the others and then returning to look at Dawn.  
  
'Alright Niblet, see they haven't gone yet.' He said with a half smile at Dawn. He slowly walked to the kitchen as Dawn stared after him.  
  
She slowly closed the door with her eyes still watching his back. All she wanted to do at that moment was walk up behind him and kiss him in front of the others but she knew she couldn't so she returned to the sofa and to her homework waiting until the others had left and they were alone.  
  
Spike had been glad Tara had called him about coming over to patrol. Any excuse to see Dawn he thought. He'd been late on account of already meeting a couple of vamps on the way and knew he had a large cut across his arm which he needed to sort out. After seeing Dawn he quickly went to the kitchen so not to worry her but to convince the Scooby's he would be better off staying with Dawn.  
  
'Spike I still don't understand why you want to stay here.' Giles asked questioningly.  
  
Spike took off his leather jacket showing them his arm as an explanation.  
  
'Met a couple of vamps on the way here didn't I.' He replied at everyone's confused faces. 'Wouldn't mind sorting it out if it's alright with you.' Spike was getting more irritated by the Scooby's since Buffy's death and hated standing there with all of them. He just didn't understand them, not that he really wanted to, they were all so good, and he didn't get that. Dawn was different, she was innocent, she wasn't one of them, she was different, she was his, he thought affectionately.  
  
'It does look pretty bad,' Willow said examining the wound. 'If you wouldn't mind staying with Dawn,'  
  
'What ever,' Spike said with a subtle smile, Bloody hell these guys are so easy to trick. Spike growled as Willow took his arm.  
  
'Sorry, Dawn can help you, we better get patrolling.' And with that Willow, Tara, Giles and the Buffybot headed out the door saying goodbye to Dawn on the way laden with weapons.  
  
As soon as the door had shut Dawn immediately walked across to the kitchen looking for Spike. He was standing it the kitchen with his back turned to her searching for something in a cupboard.  
  
'Spike? What are you looking for?' Dawn questioned.  
  
'Just some bandages Niblet,' Spike answered not bothering to turn around.  
  
'They'll be in the bathroom,' Dawn replied running upstairs; still unaware of why he actually needed them.  
  
'Thanks,' he replied affectionately.  
  
'So what have you actually done?' Dawn asked. She looked over at his arm.  
  
'Gross, what happened?' Dawn quickly asked obviously worried. 'I mean gross!' Dawn said emphasising her point.  
  
Spike smiled at her.  
  
'Well yeah, hurts a bit Niblet, but I'm a vampire, it would hurt a hell of a lot more if I was human. I'll be fine,' he said taking her hand a giving it a reassuring squeeze. 'Anyway I kind of went over the top about it hurting so I didn't have to patrol.'  
  
Dawn smiled at him knowing he wanted to stay because of her.  
  
After Spike had finished bandaging his arm he came back into the living room to find Dawn. He saw her sitting in front of her homework with a confused expression on her face, chewing a rather worn out pencil. Spike stood there just looking at her, with her completely unaware she was being watched. She finally sighed looked up and jumped seeing Spike.  
  
'Don't do that,' she said standing up smiling. 'You need to learn to walk louder or breathe louder or something,' as she came over to Spike.  
  
'Well actually, I don't breathe.' Spike said placing his arms around Dawn's waist feeling her warmth shoot through him. Dawn pursed her lips and frowned at him. But before she could say anything Spike kissed her quickly. As soon as he pulled back he saw her expression had changed to a smile.  
  
'Spike, apart from the algebra homework I still have to do, I'm really happy.' Spike smiled at her, relieved. Everything she had been through she deserved some happiness and the chance at a normal life. He really cared about her and was glad he was part of the reason she was happy.  
  
'You deserve it Niblet,' he said as he put his hand to her face brushing some of her soft brown hair gently off her face. He then tenderly kissed her showing her how he felt the same. He was happy, though were still having the dreams, the one's about Buffy. He was still visiting her grave every day but Dawn didn't need to know that. They were his issues, nothing to do with Dawn. It was between him and Buffy.  
  
As Dawn pulled away and sat back down Spike sat beside her. He remembered how much had changed since that first time he had kissed Dawn on this couch. He still hadn't told her about that and knew he shouldn't. It was so much better now. It was obvious Dawn was happier and that made him happier. He couldn't understand why the others hadn't noticed her change in personality and he felt sorry for Dawn that they seemed to be living their lives, almost ignoring Dawn and from what Dawn had told him they never connected.  
  
Now whenever Spike sat with Dawn they felt closer to each other. Not just physically but also emotionally. As Spike sat back into the couch with his arm resting across the back Dawn lent into him and naturally his arm moved around her. Dawn felt safe here, and happy. Her mum and Buffy forgotten momentarily as long as she was in Spike's arms, nothing could be wrong.  
  
As Spike sat there he picked up the remote to the TV resting on the couch and switched it on. Dawn looked up startled by the sudden noise.  
  
'Sorry,' he said surprised at her sudden movement. Dawn sat up and turned to him.  
  
'No it's ok, I just wasn't ready to move just yet,' she said with smile. Spike sat up at what she said and hooked his arm around her waist to pull her back, closer to him but Dawn resisted. 'I better get my homework finished anyway,' Dawn said with a sigh. She leaned over to the coffee table and looked at book. So many numbers, Dawn thought, and what is with the letters? Dawn sighed and looked over at Spike relaxed against the couch. Spike saw her and smiled back. He is just too hot, how am I supposed to focus on math with him sitting there.  
  
Spike couldn't concentrate on the TV; he kept looking over at Dawn. Eventually he just gave up and focused on Dawn. He saw the confusion on her face and sat up.  
  
'Oh,' Dawn said as he moved towards Dawn putting his arm around her waist.  
  
'Cold hands?' Spike questioned.  
  
'A little,' Dawn said still smiling. ' It's ok,' she said smiling and leaned back into him. 'Stupid maths, you can't do algebra can you?' Dawn asked.  
  
'Sorry, don't think there was algebra when I went school,'  
  
'Oh right,' Dawn replied.  
  
'I could help you write a poem,' Spike said quietly to himself. 'Be a bloody awful poem, but I could write you a poem.'  
  
'What?' Dawn said giggling. Spike looked shocked she had heard him.  
  
'Nothing,' Spike said shifting in his seat looking uncomfortable. Dawn looked him mystified but still smiling. 'Okay love, but it's going to ruin my bad boy image,' he said with a smirk. ' Back before, when I was still human, I used to write poems,'  
  
'Really?' Dawn said. She couldn't believe it. This evil vampire who had killed people, wore a leather coat and had peroxide hair used to write poems. Dawn looked at him still giggling.  
  
'Tell anyone and I'll rip your head off,' Spike said smiling showing he was joking.  
  
Dawn moved her arm around his back and kissed him. 'Never' she said smiling.  
  
This kind of evening happened a lot with Spike holding Dawn, leaning on him, depending on him. Sometimes they just sat together watching TV or a movie, sometimes they just sat and talked and other times they just sat in silence, Spike listening to Dawn's breathing on his chest and Dawn sitting thinking about nothing at all just content and happy.  
  
OK SO I HAVE BEEN READING ALL THE FEEDBACK AND ORIGINALLY THERE WASN'T GOING TO BE ANY BS THEN THERE WAS; NOW I'M NOT SURE, I'LL JUST HAVE TO RELY ON FEEDBACK, IDEAS, COMMENTS OR CRITICISM FOR WHERE YOU WANT THE STORY TO GO. 


	10. preparation preparation preparation

JUST WANTED TO SAY TO let me rest in piece THE WHOLE POINT OF DOING A DAWN FIC WAS TO OVERCOME WANTING TO KILL HER OFF AND IT HAS TAKEN A LOT OF EFFORT SO FAR. Hee hee hee TO BE HONEST I HADN'T THOUGHT OF KILLING HER OR ANYONE OFF BUT MAYBE IN THE FUTURE, WHO KNOWS.? You'll have to keep reading to see if I do!  
  
Dawn stood in front of the mirror looking at her self. She began to frown as she brushed her straight hair. No, this skirt looks stupid she thought to herself.  
  
'I look like such a kid,' Dawn said out loud as she tugged at her skirt. Suddenly the door opened startling Dawn so that she tripped over a pair of shoes lying on the floor and fell backwards onto a chair, messing up her hair. She pulled her once straight hair away from her eyes glaring at whoever came through the door. Tara poked her head around the door.  
  
'Dawn are you ok?' Tara asked concerned.  
  
'Yeah, I'm fine,' Dawn said trying to stand up and sort her hair out at the same time. I'm just getting ready,'  
  
'What time is Josie's mum picking you up?' Tara asked opening the door completely and stepping into the room.  
  
'I'm not sure, some time soon. I think' Dawn said not looking at Tara but focusing on the rather large knot that had suddenly appeared in her hair. Dawn could feel Tara looking at her and turned to Tara. 'I'll be fine,' she said giving Tara a reassuring smile.  
  
Suddenly Willow appeared at the doorway behind Tara.  
  
'Hey Dawnie, ready to go? Giles called, we are meeting at the Magic Box.' Willow said to Tara.  
  
'Ok, we better get going. Dawn are you sure you don't want us to wait.'  
  
'Guys I'll be fine, she'll be here soon and everything's fine,' Dawn turned around and grabbed a lipstick from her side table. 'Um. what time will you guys be back?' Dawn asked trying not to sound suspicious.  
  
'Not too late, we're going over to Xander's afterwards for.' Willow looked at Tara.  
  
'.To watch a movie,' Willow quickly covered. Dawn raised her eyebrows at them.  
  
'Ok,' Dawn said forgetting their weird behaviour. 'Give me an hour to work with, so I'm not panicking.'  
  
'About one, ok sweetie.' Willow directed at Dawn as she hugged Tara from behind.'  
  
'See you later then guys,' Dawn said as she waved them down the stairs.  
  
As soon as she heard the front door close she opened her wardrobe again. She had never been on a proper date before and didn't have any clothes to wear. She sighed as she looked at her watch. Spike would be here soon and she still didn't know what to wear. She ran to Buffy's room and jumped with shock seeing the Buffybot lying motionless on the bed with a little red light flashing behind her. She hadn't expected to see it although she knew it had some faulty wiring after patrol the night before. She continued into the room not worrying about how much noise she was making as the Buffybot couldn't hear her.  
  
She opened Buffy's wardrobe and stopped in her tracks. She picked out a blue dress. Buffy had worn this on Dawn's birthday. She remembered Buffy giving Dawn her present in this dress, hugging her and smiling at her. She hugged the dress tightly trying to relive the memory and have Buffy back.  
  
This was the only true memory Dawn had of one of her birthday. The best birthday ever! Her mom wasn't ill and Buffy was still there. The three of them had sat there after all the others had left, full of ice cream and watching Dawn's favourite movies. Dawn had never laughed so hard until she had nearly barfed from way too much food. Dawn hugged the dress even tighter. The dress still smelled of Buffy, her favourite perfume wafted up from the dress, which Dawn didn't think, had moved since Buffy had gone.  
  
Dawn loved Buffy's perfume. She used to borrow it all the time and wear it when she didn't get caught. That was one of the drawbacks of having a slayer as a sister; she always caught you when you borrowed her stuff.  
  
Dawn realised her eyes were beginning to water so sadly hung the dress back up slowly and delicately. She gently closed the door to Buffy's room with a final glance at the Buffybot.  
  
'Night, Buffy.Buffybot,' Dawn said sniffling trying to hold back tears.  
  
She slowly walked back to her room still thinking of Buffy and her mom. As she entered her room, she looked up at the clock on the wall and gasped in surprise. Spike would be on his way by now unless he was late.  
  
'Spike will be late,' Dawn said out loud trying to convince her self as she rumbled through a pile of clothes, 'He's always late for everything else,'  
  
***************  
  
'Spike sat in his armchair staring at the TV. He had no idea what was on even though he had been sitting there for nearly twenty minutes. He checked his watch realising it was nearly seven and stood up. He picked up his leather jacket and checked the pockets for any cash.  
  
'Bugger,' he said to himself as he looked around the crypt wondering where the hell some money was. He knew he couldn't nick some cash while he was with Dawn Even though she knew he did it, he though she wouldn't appreciate it while they were out.  
  
Spike didn't admit to himself he was feeling nervous. This was the first proper 'date' he had been on with Dawn. He had been coming over to see her nearly every night for the last couple of weeks since they he had kissed her that night while making cookies but this was the first time they were going out on a date. Spike gulped trying to swallow any nerves around.  
  
He continued looking around the crypt and finally found cash near a pile of clothes. He smiled at the money and quickly stuffed it in his pocket.  
  
'Right time to go,' he said as he left the crypt.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn quickly wiped her eyes with her hand and checked her face in the mirror. She had put on very simple make up and luckily it hadn't smudged. She waded through the mounds of clothes on the floor until she found her favourite pair of jeans. She went back to the mirror and looked at her reflection frowning. She continued picking up tops and holding them against her while admiring her reflection. She finally settled on a red top with her jeans and a beaded belt that matched her top.  
  
She stood in front of the mirror still unsure if she looked too young. She went to pick up her trainers but retreated knowing the shoes were wrong. She knew she didn't have any suitable high heels but Buffy did. She quietly ran to Buffy's room and found her sisters stash of shoes.  
  
'She has way too many,' Dawn said out loud. She quickly found a nice pair of black leather boots with a small heel and went back to her room.  
  
Finally she felt ready, and stood in the centre of her room looking awkward. She began to bit her lower lip nervously and clasped her hands together. Great she thought now my hands are going to be all sweaty. She picked up her bag and checked her mobile was there in case she needed it.  
  
'Of course nothing will go wrong,' Dawn said out loud. 'Nothing goes wrong in Sunnydale.' Dawn said sarcastically.  
  
Suddenly Dawn heard the doorbell, oh god Dawn thought to herself as she began to feel dizzy. 'I can't do this.' She slowly went down the stairs holding onto the banister for support. She couldn't see Spike through the door. She looked down at her top straightening it. She took a deep breath as she opened the door.  
  
SORRY TO END HERE BUT THE DATE WAS GOING TO BE LONGER AND I WANTED TO UPDATE. JUST WANT TO SAY THANKS TO EVERYONE THAT HAS REVIEWED, I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. SO IF ANYONE HAS COMMENTS, PETTY CRITISICM OR IDEAS FOR THE STORY PLEASE REVIEW. WITH YOUR FEEDBACK I CAN MAKE THIS STORY BETTER. THANKS AGAIN X 


	11. watched by the stars

JUST REALLY WANT TO SAY THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWS MY STORY. IT REALLY CHEERS ME UP WHEN I KNOW PEOPLE LIKE IT, THAT THEY CARE ENOUGH TO LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY THINK AND WANT ME TO CARRY IT ON. SO THANK YOU ALL! WITHOUT YOU I PROBABLY WOULD HAVE GIVEN UP.  
  
Dawn opened the door. She was very nervous but tried not to show it by smiling. Spike stood there smiling back at her. Dawn's nerves immediately disappeared as Spike smiled at her and as she looked into those cool blue eyes.  
  
'Hey' Spike said stepping into the house.  
  
'I've just got to get my bag,' Dawn said as she turned to go into the lounge.  
  
'Wait,' Spike said gently grabbing her hand. Dawn turned back to him confused, unsure what he was about to do or say. He stood there a little embarrassed as he pulled out a small bouquet of wild flowers from behind his back, wrapped with a dark purple ribbon which he had hand picked himself.  
  
Dawn eyes widened as she saw the flowers taking her breath away. 'Oh Spike,' Dawn said taking the flowers looking down at them. 'They're beautiful,' she said as she stepped closer to him and looked up into his bright blue eyes. He looked back at her smiling glad she appreciated the gift.  
  
'It's nothing really,' he said embarrassed turning away.  
  
'Of course it is,' Dawn said gently placing the flowers down on the table and wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him gently. As they pulled apart Dawn picked up her bag and followed Spike to the door. As she closed it behind them, she smiled knowing she knew she didn't want to be anywhere else.  
  
As they arrived at the Bronze, Dawn began to feel a little more self- conscious. She was fine being with Spike especially when they were alone. But now they were in the Bronze surrounded by people, Dawn felt awkward. She was and looked a lot young than Spike and she could see people looking at them. A lot of girls were first smiling at Spike but when they saw Dawn following him, she could see their expressions change. They walked around the club looking for a table and finally spotted a couple of seats by the wall.  
  
Dawn sat nervously on the edge of her seat as Spike sat back next to her.  
  
'Do you want a drink?' Spike asked looking up over the crowd towards the bar.  
  
'Sure, just get me a coke.' Dawn replied with an uneasy smile.  
  
As Spike left for the drinks, Dawn sat fidgeting looking around at all the older, prettier and cooler people enjoying themselves. Dawn sighed. This date was supposed to be when she could show Spike how mature and sensible she was. And the longer she stayed here the younger and more immature she felt.  
  
As Spike stood at the bar he couldn't see Dawn even though he tried to look over the heads of people dancing. As he turned back to the bar he lent against it waiting for the bar tender to notice him. He sighed as the whelp serving drinks ignored him again for another pretty girl at the other end of the bar. He became aware of someone standing next to him but didn't take notice of her until she spoke.  
  
'Hey,' the woman said smiling. Spike turned to her. A leggy brunette faced him wearing an incredibly low cut red top. Spike smiled at her not wanting to be rude and turned back to the bar just as the bar tender walked past again. Spike cursed at him.  
  
'Here,' the girl said leaning up over the bar. The bar tender turned immediately towards the girl and didn't even hide the fact he was looking down her top. Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
'So what can I get you?' the girl said smiling at him, 'I'm Sandra.' She said as she outstretched a neatly manicured hand.  
  
'Spike,' he said as he awkwardly shook her hand. 'And I'm fine for a drink, I'll get my own.'  
  
'A coke and a beer,' he finally said to the bar tender. Spike paid and was about leave when Sandra placed her hand on his arm.  
  
'Have to go so soon?' she asked obviously coming on to him. Spike smiled uncomfortably although flattered.  
  
'Sorry, I'm with someone,' he said leaving.  
  
'See you later,' she said as he walked away. Spike hated that kind of girl. He didn't have a problem with attractive women. She knew most men thought this and flaunted it. But as soon as Spike saw Dawn through the crowd of people she was forgotten. Dawn was different and in Spike's eyes she was breathtaking. He wanted to go straight over to her but resisted, just stood watching her. He didn't realise his smile grow as he watched her. He looked at her move as she subconsciously swayed to the music.  
  
As Spike watched her, she suddenly looked up, surprising him. He smiled at her trying to hide the fact he had been watching her and walked over. She smiled relieved he was back.  
  
'You alright?' Spike asked  
  
'I'm fine,' Dawn said as she fiddled with some hair behind her ear trying not to show how nervous she was. She realised what she was doing and suddenly stopped and moved her hand down to her lap.  
  
'Are you sure?' Spike said taking her hand. Dawn looked down at his hand on hers and looked up to him.  
  
'Yes,' she said more confidently. She looked around the Bronze. She had already surveyed the Bronze making sure there was no one she recognised. She wasn't ashamed to be with Spike, the total opposite but if there was anyone they knew it would inevitably lead back to Xander or the others somehow.  
  
Spike gently took Dawn's chin and turned her face so she was looking at him again. She smiled at him apologetically.  
  
'I'm sorry,' she apologised. 'I just keep wondering if someone we know is going to see us. I promise all my attention is focused on you from now on.' Dawn giggled at him giving him a quick kiss.  
  
'Oh, kissing in public now? Are you sure no one's going to see us?' Spike teased Dawn.  
  
'I don't care if they do,' Dawn replied, her smile growing wider. This was the most she had enjoyed herself all day. She kissed him quickly but keenly again. Spike looked into her eyes. Her eyes were smiling back to him.  
  
'I'm glad you're happy luv,' Spike said while gently brushing some hair off her face behind her ear.  
  
'I am,' she replied as they continued to stare at each other forgetting everything around them.  
  
'Um.Spike?' Dawn questioned nervously.  
  
'Yes,' Spike whispered still staring into Dawn's eyes completely caught up in the moment.  
  
'Do you want to dance?' Dawn nervously suggested.  
  
Spike was so surprised he pulled away. Dawn almost saw fear on his face and laughed.  
  
'I don't dance Niblet,' Spike replied a little embarrassed yet also firm making it clear to Dawn he had no intention of dancing.  
  
Dawn pouted her lips jokingly and stood up.  
  
As Dawn outstretched her hand she said 'Are you sure you don't want to dance? It's no fun on my own.'  
  
'Look Niblet, I don't dance. There is no way you could convince me.' Spike joked. Dawn sat down again and wrapped her arms around Spike and kissed him overpoweringly. But suddenly she stopped the kiss and stood up again.  
  
'Dance with me,' she demanded in a childish way that Spike couldn't say no to. He stood and Dawn gave a little twirl in celebration and clapped her hands 'Yes.' She said pleased with herself that she had won.  
  
Spike smiled at her. He didn't mind as long as she gave up the adorable victory dance she had just made up. It was Dawn and he realised he would do anything to make her happy, even dance.  
  
She took his hand and led Spike to the dance floor Dawn was already swaying to the music. Anyone could tell Spike was out of his element in the middle of the dance floor. As a lively song started Dawn danced perfectly in time to the music. Spike feeling self-conscious tried to move to the music but became embarrassed and realised his cheeks were turning red though being a vampire it was impossible so gave up at any chance of being able to dance.  
  
He became mesmerised by Dawn instead and by her movements. The way her feet moved in time to the music, how her body arched and turned to the song, how her long straight hair moved and swayed while she danced, the expression on her face as she danced and how beautiful she looked. Her smile lit up the room for Spike even in the dimly lit Bronze. And as Dawn danced in front of him and then around him, smiling the whole time his eyes followed her. He couldn't take his eyes off her and completely forgot anyone else was in the room.  
  
He gently rested his hands around her waist and tried to move with her. Dawn gently smiled at him, knowing for him dancing was an effort. She continued to dance in time to the music feeling butterflies in her stomach as Spike's hands gently moved across her stomach and her hips. It wasn't nerves Dawn was feeling now; she didn't know what it was. She eventually turned to him disappointed when the song ended.  
  
As she was about to suggest they sit down knowing Spike was uncomfortable and expecting the band to take a break, a slow song began and instantly saw couples pairing up on the dance floor. The two of them stood there awkwardly for a moment until Spike put his arms around Dawn's waist and she logically moved her arms around his shoulders resting her arms around his back. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed.  
  
'What's wrong Niblet?' Spike questioned quietly.  
  
'Nothing, absolutely nothing,' she said looking up into his eyes. 'It was a happy sigh.' She smiled up at him. They continued dancing in silence. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence; they just didn't need to say anything.  
  
As the song ended they slowly pulled apart. Dawn wished the song could go on forever. They moved away from the dance floor and Dawn looked at her watch.  
  
'Spike, I'd better be getting home, Willow and Tara could come back early or they might call and check I got back ok.' Dawn said sadly not wanting to leave.  
  
'Sure, Niblet,' he said moving towards the door as Dawn followed.  
  
As they got outside, Dawn realised how cold it was and tried not to shiver. They had only taken a couple of steps down the street when they both heard a shout from behind them.  
  
'Oh my god Spike, you chose that schoolgirl instead of me. What's wrong with you?' Spike turned to see Sandra ambling towards them obviously drunk followed by a slightly more sober friend. Dawn moved towards Spike and looked up at him questioning whom this woman was.  
  
'Sandra right? You were at the bar?' Spike asked. The woman nodded silently childlike. 'What do you want?' he said aggressively. Dawn was taken aback by his abruptness.  
  
'Sandra, lets go ok?' her friend said to her, mouthing sorry toward Dawn and Spike. Spike turned away and started walking in the opposite direction but stopped realising Dawn was still staring after the girl.  
  
'Niblet, are you alright?' Dawn turned to him, lost in her own thoughts. 'Are you ok?' he repeated.  
  
Dawn suddenly turned to him surprised.  
  
'Yeah I'm fine,' Dawn replied as she started walking towards home. She crossed her arms protectively and began to shiver.  
  
'Here take my jacket,' Spike said removing his leather coat. 'It's not like I feel the cold.' Dawn smiled at him gratefully and turned her back to him. She gently lifted her hair from her back. Spike gently helped Dawn with the jacket. She giggled and did a little twirl.  
  
'How do I look?' She asked.  
  
As they continued walking a comfortable silence fell upon them both. Dawn smiled as she walked, she was completely happy and as she looked up at the stars she felt as if something higher up was watching her, guiding her to be happy.  
  
Of course the coat was way too big for her but she didn't care. It was Spike's jacket. She buried her face in the jacket trying to keep out the cold. It still smelt of Spike and whatever aftershave he used she smiled to herself and let out a giggle.  
  
Spike turned to her bemused questioning what she was thinking. Dawn smiled at him.  
  
'What?' She asked burying her face into the jacket to hide the fact she was turning red.  
  
As Dawn and Spike arrived at the Summer's house Dawn saw none of the lights were on.  
  
'It's ok,' Dawn said, 'They aren't back yet.'  
  
'Well.um.' Dawn started. Suddenly the date had become awkward. 'Do you want to come in? I don't think we have any blood but I think we've got some beer.'  
  
'Niblet it's ok, Willow and Tara will be back soon.' Dawn nodded slowly taking off Spike's jacket and handing it to him so he could put it back on.  
  
'Of course, you're totally right.' Dawn said going quiet. She looked up at Spike and smiled. She took a small step towards Spike as he moved to her as well. They kissed gently and Spike feeling how cold she was wrapped his coat around her. She smiled at how affectionate he was being.  
  
As Dawn opened the door she stepped back and across the threshold. They smiled at each other.  
  
'So. I'll see you soon?' Dawn said smiling as she held the door.  
  
'Sure Niblet,' he said. He smiled at her and turned and walked down the path.  
  
'Spike.' Dawn shouted running down the path to him. Spike turned surprised to see Dawn running towards him smiling. Before he could say anything she passionately kissed him, looked into his eyes smiling at his surprised face, turned and ran back into the house. Spike watched her go, let out a deep breath and smiled.  
  
Dawn saw Spike's smile and with a last look into his eyes ran back into the house. As she closed the door she lent back against the door and smiled.  
  
I AM SORRY I ENDED THE LAST CHAPTER WHERE I DID BECAUSE I KNEW THIS CHAPTER WOULD BE LONG AND IF I HAD PUT IT ALL TOGETHER IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN WAY LONGER FOR ME TO UPDATE. ENJOY. PLEASE R&R 


	12. our song

SO, I HAVE UPDATED CHAPTERS 1-8 TO MAKE THEM BETTER. THERE ISN'T ANY CHANGES IN THE PLOT OF THE STORY; JUST MINOR CHANGES SO NO NEED TO REREAD THEM UNLESS YOU WANT TO. SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG BUT ALL MY ART COURSEWORK HAS TO BE IN ON FRIDAY AND I HAVE BEEN WORKING MY ASS OFF TO CATCH UP. AFTER FRIDAY I SHOULD BE ABLE TO UPDATE MORE REGULARLY.  
  
Thought I would talk about the time scale. Buffy is going to be dead longer than in the show. I'm, not sure how long exactly but this is at least 3 months since she died. I didn't think I had made it clear so anyone who was wondering, voila.  
  
Dawn hummed happily to herself as she came down the Summer's stairs with a big smile across her face. As she came into the kitchen she saw Tara and fell into a chair happily.  
  
'Hey sweetie,' Tara said. 'Are you feeling ok?' Tara waited for a reaction from Dawn as she continued to sing to herself, in a world of her own.  
  
'Sorry, what?' Dawn said realising Tara was looking at her.  
  
'Nothing,' Tara smiled shaking her head. The smile on Dawn's face showed how happy she was. 'So what brought on this good mood?' Tara asked leaning against the table opposite Dawn. Tara and Willow had noticed how much happier Dawn had been over the last month or so. They all thought it was because she was learning to accept Buffy was gone but none of them had any idea it was because of Spike. But today Dawn was more excited than ever.  
  
'No reason,' Dawn said trying to tone down her excitement. 'I'm just normal,'  
  
'If you're sure,' Tara said still wondering about her then became distracted by Willow entering through the kitchen and placing her arms around her waist.  
  
'I was wandering where you were,' Willow said kissing Tara. 'So have you finished your homework Dawnie?'  
  
'Yep, history done, just some bio test to study for next week,' Dawn said jumping up from her chair and knocking over a carton of juice onto the table. 'Whoops,' Dawn giggled quickly grabbing a cloth.  
  
'Why's she in such a good mood?' Willow asked smiling. Dawn's mood was obviously wearing off on both of them. Tara shrugged her shoulders and put some bread into the toaster.  
  
'Guys, can't I just be in a good mood?' Dawn asked trying to act all innocent. Willow looked at her.  
  
'Not in this good a mood, there is a reason behind it.' Willow responded. 'Are you excited about the bio quiz?' Tara turned to Willow and Dawn gave her a confused look. 'What?' Willow asked bewildered.  
  
'Not so much a bio person,' Dawn said as she finished cleaning up the juice. Dawn could still feel them looking at her waiting for her to explain her mood.  
  
'Guys there is really nothing to tell,' She looked up at them and sighed overdramatically seeing as they still didn't believe her.  
  
'Ok,' she almost shouted finally giving in and smiling. Willow and Tara turned to each other and smiled as Willow took her hand.  
  
Dawn suddenly became embarrassed and looked down into her lap fiddling with her hands.  
  
'Well, I don't want you to freak out, but I've kind of met someone... a guy.' Tara gave Willow a knowing look.  
  
'And I have a date...tonight.' Dawn squealed really loudly.  
  
'I thought you might have met a guy,' Tara said. 'You've had this look in your eye, Willow didn't believe me.' Willow looked at Tara frowning.  
  
'So who is he? He's from school right? Is he your age? What's he look like? Is he nice? How long have you been seeing him? Have you been sneaking out to see him?' Willow bombarded Dawn with questions, the last one slightly disapproving in an over the top way.  
  
Dawn laughed at Willow. 'Guys chill out.' She paused until Willow had caught her breath and Dawn had time to make up and answer. She couldn't have kept how she felt for Spike any longer and knew she had to tell someone. She knew however she couldn't be completely honest with Willow and Tara. She had to tell someone how she felt but she could leave out who it was, and how old he was and the fact he was a vampire who used to be her sisters mortal enemy. She could make up a little bit right? And then she wouldn't have to lie when she said she went out to meet Spike.  
  
' He's really nice,' Dawn started. ' He has lovely eyes, and he cares about me and he's so sweet,' Dawn began to gush. She paused to take breath and got caught up daydreaming about Spike.  
  
Tara squeezed Willow's hand as they smiled at each other pleased for Dawn.  
  
'He sounds nice,' Willow said smiling. 'So what's his name?'  
  
'Oh,' Dawn said. 'Didn't I tell you?' She paused quickly trying to think of a name. She hated having to lie directly to them. '...Will,' Dawn replied discreetly looking at them for a reaction.  
  
They grinned at her, happy that she was. Willow quickly looked down at her watch.  
  
'Sorry Dawn, but Tara and I have got to get going; we are meeting Xander and Anya about ...um tonight. '  
  
'Oh ok,' Dawn said a little deflated. She was animated for a girly chat. 'I was hoping for a sleepover chat,' Dawn said to Willow and Tara's perplexed looks. 'You know,' Dawn said trying to explain her self. 'Eat cookie dough, talk about boys...or girls,' Dawn giggled.  
  
'Maybe a rain check,' Willow apologised. 'Anyway,' Willow said brightening up, 'You have a date, you don't have time to sit around and eat.'  
  
Dawn smiled sadly. Of course she was thrilled about seeing Spike but a cosy night in with them would have been fun too. She quietly sighed to herself wishing for the millionth time since Buffy's death that she was still alive.  
  
Dawn went back upstairs more quietly this time to get ready. Her good mood deflated a little she quickly dressed to meet Spike. She no longer panicked about what outfit to wear with Spike or how she should do her hair. She turned on some music trying to cheer her self up but with no affect. She sat down on her bed and gently swung her legs while thinking. She looked over at her clock. Spike would wait a while until Tara and Willow had left before arriving. She sighed falling back onto her bed. She knew she would be seeing Spike soon, which cheered her up but she was still thinking about Buffy and how much she missed her. She twiddled her thumbs looking up at the ceiling thinking.  
  
She heard Tara shout up to her and walked to the top of the stairs. 'Ok Dawn we're going out. We should be back in a couple of hours.'  
  
'Ok,' Dawn said as they closed the door behind them. She went back to her room but almost immediately heard a knock on the door. Dawn turned her head to the noise and a smile lit up on her face and went to the stairs quickly.  
  
Dawn opened the door smiling. 'Hey,' Dawn said stepping back and shutting the door behind him. 'Were you lurking outside until they had gone?'  
  
'I'm a vampire, I lurk all the time.' Spike replied as he walked into the lounge and sat on the couch as Dawn walked through towards the kitchen.  
  
'Anyway,' Spike said catching Dawn's attention causing her to turn around. 'When do I get a kiss?' Dawn smiled at him and immediately walked back towards the couch. She moved to sit down next to Spike but he grabbed her by her waist and pulled her onto his lap. Dawn smiled at him wrapping her arms around his neck. She kissed him keenly smiling.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn stood up later Spike took her hand and stood up as well. He walked over to the sound system as Dawn followed still holding his hand. He turned it on and immediately a song burst out through the speaker startling them both. As Spike turned it down Dawn hugged him tightly.  
  
'I love this song,' Dawn said smiling up at him. Spike smiled back at her as he carefully took her hand and moved his hand around her waist.  
  
'But you hate to dance?' Dawn questioned.  
  
'It's not so bad when there's no one else around.' He said smiling down at her knowing it would make her happy. Dawn smiled as she rested her shoulder on him.  
  
As the song neared the end,  
  
'Ouch,' Dawn giggled as Spike accidentally stood on her toe. He stepped back in acute pain, holding his head.  
  
'Are you ok?' Dawn said touching his arms.  
  
'I'm fine,' Spike replied unfeelingly shrugging her off. Dawn moved away a little taken aback.  
  
'If you're sure,' she said quietly moving over to the couch and sitting down uncomfortably.  
  
'Look Dawn, I didn't mean anything,' he said apologetically walking towards her.  
  
'No, it's fine,' Dawn said lowering her head. Spike stepped backwards frustrated running his fingers through his hair.  
  
As the next song began Dawn quickly stood up and turned off the music.  
  
'I thought you liked that one,' Spike stated as his eyes followed Dawn.  
  
'No,' Dawn said coldly. Spike looked at her confused as she returned to her seat on the couch. 'I never liked it.'  
  
'I'm sure I've heard you listening to it, although it may have been a while ago.' Spike replied still unsure what was wrong with Dawn. She shifted away from him as Spike sat down next to her. He tried to put his arm around her but as he did she stood up quickly.  
  
'Buffy liked the song,' Dawn said in a low voice. Spike looked at her. 'It was one of her favourite song.' Dawn told at him. Spike looked at her confused at why she was so upset. 'Spike you just don't get this,' she replied. 'Can't you tell the difference between the two of us? I'm Dawn, Buffy...Buffy is dead.' Dawn sank to the floor against a wall.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. 'Niblet, what's the problem just because I made a mistake about something Buffy did and not you. Dawn you're the one I'm here with.'  
  
'Yeah well Buffy isn't here she's buried in the ground and no one seems to care anymore.' Spike was able to make out through sobs. Dawn burst into tears tipping her head forward covering her face with her hair so he couldn't see her. Spike stood there not knowing what to do.  
  
He walked over to Dawn and squatted down next to her. Dawn heard him come over but didn't move.  
  
'Dawn,' Spike said softly pulling her hair off her face. As Spike looked at her Dawn didn't move just continued to look down. Abruptly Dawn stood up backing away from Spike. 'I think you should go,' Dawn said coldly crossing her arms.  
  
'Dawn,' Spike said again touching her arm, Dawn jerked away from him almost as if she was scared.  
  
'Spike please,' Dawn begged delicately opening the door and leaning against it. 'I just need to be alone.'  
  
Spike stepped outside the door turning back to Dawn. He was about to say something but Dawn didn't wait to see Spike's expression. She slammed the door, disturbing Spike. He didn't know what he could do or what he could say and if Dawn didn't want him there he knew he wouldn't be any help. He waited for a moment unsure if he should knock. He dug his hands into his pockets, sighed, turned down the path and went home.  
  
Dawn shut the door and slowly walked into the living room shaking. Without warning she slowly crumpled down against the wall to the floor crying.  
  
OK SO MY CHAPTER'S ARE GETTING LONGER BUT HOPEFULLY BETTER ASWELL, R&R, I LOVE GETTING FEEDBACK.  
  
ALSO I REALLY NEED REVIEWS WITH IDEAS FOR WHERE TO TAKE THIS STORY BECAUSE IT WAS GOING TO END UP BS BUT NOW I DON'T WANT IT TO AND NO ONE ELSE DOES SO I NEED NEW IDEAS. EITHER INCLUDE IDEAS TO A REVIEW OR EMAIL ME FROM MY PROFILE. 


	13. better by candlelight

THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO AHS REVIEWED KNOWING PEOPLE LIKE MY STORIES GIVES ME INCENTIVE TO KEEP GOING, OTHERWISE I WILL PROBABLY SHRIVEL UP AND DIE. SO PLEASE REVIEW x  
  
Dawn walked up the stairs heartlessly, sighing after every step. She hadn't seen Spike in nearly a week. He hadn't come over and she hadn't been to see him. She thought she had seen him once outside the kitchen window but as soon as she had gone outside he was gone or she had imagined it completely. The night after, she had gone round to his crypt. She had walked past the crypt a dozen times but had been too nervous to go in.  
  
She reached her room and collapsed onto the bed. She looked around her room her eyes resting on her desk. A large pile of homework caught her eye. She sighed and rolled over. She hadn't done any work since her argument with Spike. She just didn't have the energy and all she could think about was Spike and Buffy.  
  
She stared up at the ceiling and slowly slid off the bed and onto the floor with a bump. She winced rubbing her hip.  
  
'I am such a wimp.' She said to herself as she looked under her bed. She pulled out a shoebox hidden by some junk and placed it on the bed. She sat on the bed as she removed the lid and took out the contents spreading them out onto the bed. In it were a pile of photographs of Buffy, Dawn, their Mom, Xander, Anya, Willow, Tara and Giles. Dawn flicked through them smiling at all the happy faces, everyone full of joy. Dawn still remembered how happy everyone had been and yet looking at these pictures made her sad. She knew they could never go back to these images. With her mom and Buffy dead and Giles back in England it was different. Dawn couldn't remember the last time they had all been happy together as a group.  
  
Dawn sighed, these pictures were supposed to have made her feel better. She paused at picture of her mom, Buffy and Dawn. It had been taken last year when they had painted Dawn's room. Buffy had paint in her hair and Dawn had a streak of the same color across her face. Dawn sighed at the photo. It had been before her mom had been ill and before any of them knew she was the key. Before Dawn realised what she was doing she saw a tear drop down onto her jeans. She sniffed and wiped her eyes with her hand.  
  
Dawn sat back on her bed blinking trying to stop any more tears as she began to collect up the photographs. As she picked up the box she looked in remembering an envelope inside it. She took it out and gently opened it carefully taking the photographs out obviously showing them as some of her most treasured possessions. She slowly looked through them, her smile getting wider after each photo. She no longer had tears in her eyes but looking at the photographs with pride and love.  
  
The photos were pictures of her and Spike that they had taken one evening a couple of weeks ago. Although she had been happy in all the other pictures with Buffy and her mom, the pictures of Spike weren't a memory but now. She knew that if she met up with Spike they could be happy like this. She smiled happily at Spike's image on one of the photographs.  
  
'I am totally in love with him,' Dawn said looking at the picture. She wasn't brave enough to say it to Spike yet but she knew that was how she felt though she was aware Spike didn't feel the same. She slowly sealed down the envelope and put them back in the box so Tara and Willow wouldn't see them. When she was finished she replaced the box out of the way and went to the door. She saw Tara and Willow close the front door behind them and picked up a jacket.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn neared the entrance to Spike's crypt, Spike was sitting in his chair watching television. He sensed Dawn was near, turned the television off and turned his head waiting for her.  
  
Dawn stood for a moment at the door of Spike's crypt with her arm raised about to knock. She still got butterflies in her stomach whenever she saw Spike but they weren't usually about fear, except today. Dawn was worried about how he would react to seeing her so long after what had happened. She knocked quietly on the door and pushed it open. She stepped into the crypt and looked around for Spike. She saw him looking at her from his chair and smiled nervously, gripping her hands as she walked over to him.  
  
He stood up as she moved towards him.  
  
'Hi,' Dawn said. 'I had to see you.'  
  
'It's ok, Niblet. I was going to come over too.' Spike replied with his arms around her waist. He kissed her gently lingering for a moment. Dawn hugged him tightly resting her head against him.  
  
'I'm so sorry Spike, everything just got on top of me for a while. I didn't mean to take it out on you.' She looked up at him, as Spike stared down into her large brown eyes. He gently stroked her hair looking intently into her eyes.  
  
'It's ok Niblet,' he replied. Dawn smiled at him hugging him again tighter this time. Dawn stood for a moment her eyes shut with a sad smile across her face.  
  
'Dawn,' Spike asked softly.  
  
'Hmmm,' Dawn replied still hugging him, her eyes shut.  
  
'I've got a surprise for you,' Spike said taking her hand. Dawn's eyes widened as she looked up at Spike surprised. 'Well actually two, he said turning away from Dawn still taking her hand. But you'll have to wait for the second.'' He turned back to Dawn with a piece of deep blue cloth. He stared at Dawn's puzzled eyes looking up at him.  
  
He slowly covered Dawn's eyes with the cloth and tying it round her head. To reassure her, he quietly whispered into her ear,  
  
'Trust me.' He lightly brushed his lips across Dawn's ear before softly kissing her mouth.  
  
He tenderly took her hand and led her towards the lower level of the crypt. As Spike stopped Dawn downstairs she tried to look around through the blindfold. She couldn't make out any physical objects but saw the glow from some lights around her.  
  
As Spike stood behind her he gently undid the blindfold allowing it to fall to the ground. Dawn blinked by the sudden light until she was able to focus on her surroundings. Dawn rubbed her eyes gently and turned her head. The room was surrounded with lit cream colored candles all different sizes and shapes. She gasped at how beautiful the room looked. Spike smiled behind her and gently placed his arms around her waist. She smiled and lent back into him.  
  
'Spike,' she said in a whisper. She was completely speechless. Spike turned her around to look at the other side of the room also covered in candles and a set table with plates, cutlery, and a beautiful red rose in the centre. Dawn gasped again, turning towards Spike. Just inches from his face Dawn smiled lovingly to him. From the reflection of the candles Spike could see Dawn's eyes filling with water, about to cry.  
  
Spike stroked her hair protectively.  
  
'Are you ok?' The worry obvious in Spike's voice, Dawn smiled reassuringly.  
  
'Yes, Spike this is perfect, thank you, thank you so much. It must have been so much effort.  
  
'Not nearly as much as you deserve.' He replied. Spike sighed as Dawn giggled at how corny it was.  
  
As Dawn moved to sit down Spike pulled out the chair for her, the perfect gentleman. Dawn looked at Spike not believing how lucky she was.  
  
Spike turned to the table behind him to serve up the food. Dawn didn't know what to expect but was still surprised when Spike turned around. As he turned back to the table Dawn saw a tray full of Chinese takeaway boxes. Dawn laughed out loud as Spike smiled a little embarrassed.  
  
'I don't have an oven,' Spike explained to Dawn's surprised face. Dawn looked fondly at him as he sat down opposite her.  
  
'It's perfect, I love Chinese.' Dawn said staring into his eyes.  
  
***************  
  
'How did you know I was going to come?' Dawn asked him as they finished the meal.  
  
'No one can resist someone this good-looking,' He smirked.  
  
Spike stood up clearing the plates as Dawn's eyes followed him resting her head on her hand. She watched him silently a smile evident on her face. Suddenly she had the urge to tell him how she felt, to tell him that she loved him.  
  
'Spike,' she said nervously biting her lip. He turned to her, his face attentive. 'Spike I just wanted to tell you, I....' Dawn couldn't do it, she couldn't tell him, and she couldn't face the rejection of him not saying it back to her. '...Thank you,' Dawn quickly covered.  
  
Spike smiled up at her wrapping his arms around her waist as she stood up. They kissed passionately until Spike abruptly pulled away. Dawn looked at him confused while Spike smiled at her reassuringly.  
  
'Niblet, you've got another surprise.' Dawn's eyes lit up in a mixture if happiness and embarrassment. Spike slowly put his hand into the inside pocket of his leather jacket and pulled out a satin box. Dawn gasped as he handed it to her.  
  
'I didn't steal it,' Spike said quickly.  
  
'You paid for it?' Dawn grin widened as she teased him. As Dawn gently opened the box her mouth fell open as she looked up at Spike.  
  
'Spike it's...it's beautiful.' She gasped. Inside the box lay a silver necklace. It had a thin silver chain with a solid silver heart shaped pendant. On the heart was a small circular ruby. 'Oh my god, Spike' Dawn said staring intently at the pendant. 'It's gorgeous.' She looked up a huge grin around her face. She threw her arms around him hugging him. Spike hugged her back spinning her around pleased she liked the gift. He had bought it yesterday to cheer her up and it had worked better than he could have ever expected.  
  
He took the box from Dawn and gently removed the pendant from it's box. Dawn turned around pulling her hair in front of her exposing her neck. Her gently clipped the pendant on and kissed her neck. She giggled turning to him wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
'Spike tonight has been perfect,' She said happily.  
  
'It's not over yet,' he said kissing her, catching her unaware as she smiled.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn stood outside Spike's crypt shivering in her jacket, Spike slammed the door shut. He took Dawn's warm and she smiled touching her necklace, knowing how lucky she was. As they left the graveyard a breeze hit them making Dawn shudder.  
  
'Cold?' he questioned. Dawn shook her head smiling. As they passed through another graveyard towards Dawn's house Spike suddenly stopped. Dawn turned to him surprised. He looked around the graveyard as if searching for something.  
  
'Spike what is it?' Dawn ventured.  
  
'Shhhh,' Spike replied letting go of her hand and striding across the graveyard. Dawn ran to keep up with him.  
  
'Spike what's wrong?' Dawn said more impatiently this time. Spike turned around again looking across the graves and then as if suddenly remembering Dawn was there turned to face her.  
  
'Dawn, I need you to hide.'  
  
'What' Dawn questioned shaking her head, not realising she was now whispering like Spike.  
  
'Dawn please,' he begged still looking around. 'I can hear Willow and all the others, they're coming,' Dawn's eyes widened in panic.  
  
'How do you know...?' Dawn began but was quickly cut off by Spike.  
  
'Vampire hearing, just stay back behind this bush, ok. I'm going to try and head them off.' Dawn turned to see where he meant but when she turned back she was surprised to see Spike had gone. She looked around and sighed before moving behind the bush.  
  
Dawn heard the other's before she could see them.  
  
'Xander I know what I'm doing, we've talked about this.' She heard Willow say. Suddenly she saw them all. She hunched back behind the bush worried they would see her. She saw Spike walk up to them but couldn't hear what they are saying. She held her breath afraid in case they saw her.  
  
***************  
  
Spike sighed seeing the Scooby's, damn it, he'd been right. He walked up to them looking around to see if he could see Dawn.  
  
'What do you want Spike?' Xander asked in disgust.  
  
'Well, I'm out patrolling and I didn't want you lot to get enthusiastic and stake me, not that you could of course.' Xander stepped towards Spike threateningly.  
  
'With that chip...'Xander began but was cut off by Spike.  
  
'...I would still end up better off.'  
  
'Guys,' Willow said stepping in. Spike took the hint and backed off. 'We've just started patrolling too,' Willow said looking at all the others making sure they agreed.  
  
'Yes we are killing the demons, all the current demons.' Anya added cheerfully trying to hide the guilty look she had.  
  
'I better be off,' Spike said giving Anya a funny look before turning in the direction of Dawn.  
  
'Yeah bye Spike.' Willow said going in the opposite direction with the others.  
  
As Spike reached Dawn, he saw the worried expression on her face.  
  
'It's ok Niblet, they've just started patrolling they're going to be a while.' Spike said trying to reassure her.  
  
'I better get home,' she said quietly. This was the first time they had nearly got caught and it had scared Dawn.  
  
They walked home in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. They both knew they could have been caught.  
  
'Spike,' Dawn said still looking straight ahead as they neared Revello Drive. 'That was really close,'  
  
'I know Niblet.'  
  
WOOHOOO ANOTHER CHAPTER FINISHED. I FOUND THIS A LOT EASIER TO WRITE THAN SOME OTHERS SO EITHER I'M GETTING BETTER OR SLOPPIER, LET ME KNOW BECAUSE ANY OPINIONS, FEEDBACK AND IDEAS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANK U TO ALL HAVE REVIEWED SO FAR PLEASE REVIEW MORE THOUGH X 


	14. the best bit of an argument

IT'S HALF TERM, SO IC AN UPDATE MORE OFTEN WHOO HOOO, PLEASE REVIEW MY STORY BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A BOOST AND MAKES ME THINK ALL MY WORK HASN'T BEEN FOR NOTHING.  
  
Spike and Dawn entered the Summer's house.  
  
'I can't keep doing this ' Dawn said as she shuts the front door.  
  
'And what you think I can?' Spike replied looking at her.  
  
'I didn't mean it like that. I want to tell the others.' Dawn looked at Spike waiting for a reaction.  
  
Spike looked at her shocked for even suggesting it.  
  
'You're joking right; we're not doing that luv.'  
  
'Why not?' Dawn questioned. 'I think they would understand.'  
  
'Do you remember when they found out I am in love with Buffy? Do you remember how they reacted, how she reacted, how you reacted? I don't want to go through that again. You have no idea what it was like, being shut out. I didn't care about the others but being away from Buffy was hard. Do you think it would be any better with you? If they knew what we had done. If we told them do you think they would be fine with it? Say well ok I'm glad you have told us we're just going to go out and leave you two alone.' Dawn looked down to the floor. He always had the power to make her feel childish, a lot younger than he was.  
  
'That's not what I meant,' she replied awkwardly.  
  
'We have to end it, this thing it's ridiculous. It's not going to work. You're young, too young for me.' Spike said suddenly. Dawn looked up at him stunned by what he had just said. Spike was as shocked by his own outburst as Dawn was.  
  
'So what? People have older boyfriends.'  
  
'Not a century older.' Spike replied trying not to sound as mean as he felt.  
  
'Angel was older; he and Buffy loved each other.' Dawn said trying not to let Spike see what he had just said had hurt her.  
  
Spike flinched at the name Angel and then at the thought of the two of them together.  
  
'And you see how well they worked out, him moving away.'  
  
'That doesn't matter when two people really lov... want it to.' Dawn recovered from saying love. Although she was in love with Spike, she didn't think he felt the same way about her. Deep down she knew he was still in love with Buffy and as much as she tried she couldn't do anything about it.  
  
'What if I don't want it to? Because...because of...' Spike said and began to trail off, trying not to hurt Dawn. He looked down to the floor ashamed.  
  
'What? Because of Buffy, because you are still in love with her. Spike she's not coming back. You should know that by now. So answer me one question. Why are you still here? I know it's not because of me.'  
  
Dawn had had enough. Spike looked at her, shocked by Dawn's sudden outburst. She loved Spike more than any guy she had ever known and he didn't even care about her. She had opened her heart to him about her mum, her sister and herself and all he cared about was Buffy. Had he been using her to be near to the memory of Buffy? She loved him so much and yet couldn't understand why he hadn't stopped loving her sister. Dawn would always be second best to Buffy in Spike's eyes. She knew that now, all that time when she had pretended Buffy no longer mattered to him and that she finally felt she belonged with someone but he had never felt the same way.  
  
'Spike do you still think I'm a kid who doesn't know anything? Do you think I don't know you are in love with Buffy, with my sister? How could I not know Spike? The only reason you came back to look after me after Buffy's death was to be in her house, to see things that reminded you of her. It had nothing to do with me. I know that now.' Dawn felt the rage inside her increasing. She was still angry about Buffy dying and knew she was taking it out on Spike but couldn't seem to stop.  
  
'That's not true, I came to look after you.' Spike replied honestly.  
  
'So what you are my babysitter now.' Dawn said ironically annoyed that Spike wouldn't own up to the feelings he still had for Buffy.  
  
'No, I came because I cared about you.' Spike answered again trying to be honest about what he felt for her.  
  
'If you cared about me, how could you hurt me so much?' Dawn replied almost in a whisper, turning away.  
  
Spike gently grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She looked deep into them searching for answers about how he felt but saw nothing.  
  
'I wanted to protect you Dawn.'  
  
'What from demons?' Dawn said sadly. Slowly regaining her anger she pushed Spike away. 'You're the demon Spike. Because since Buffy's death, you're the only demon that's hurt me. You're worse than any demon I've known. You say you are going to protect me but now I have never hurt so much. And it's not just because Buffy's gone, I would be able to cope with her going But it's all because of you Spike. You are the only thing I can think about. Just you. And I' m so happy when I'm with you and now it's all crashing down. That's why I'm hurting'  
  
Dawn turned away from him as she began to cry; unable to look at the man she had fallen for, not wanting to see his reaction.  
  
Spike looked at this young woman. She was wrong, he did care for her and it had nothing to do with Buffy. He really did care for Dawn in a way he wouldn't have believed before Buffy's death. Every second he spent with Dawn he felt like a better person, as if he deserved to be a part of Dawn's life. Every time he looked at Dawn he didn't see a young girl, the slayers sister and the key but as the woman he was falling for. He hated to see her upset like this. Seeing her crying was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He loved to see her smile, see her face light up while he was there, even over something silly.  
  
He stood there not knowing what to do. All he wanted to do was put his arms around Dawn, kiss her and tell her everything would be ok, but he couldn't.  
  
He loved her smile, her eyes, how she ate pizza while singing a stupid song about anchovies and the way she would watch cartoons while criticising the realism of a talking dog. Even with her back turned he could see her beautiful face, engraved in his mind. His feelings for Dawn were completely different from those of Buffy and although he might still love Buffy, his feelings for Dawn were there and they were real and they were returned. He had never dreamed that Dawn could think of anything more than a monster.  
  
But he knew that she loved him and that meant more to him than anything. She was different from Buffy, her own person. She was sure of herself and he loved her for it. This thought shocked Spike as the realisation of what he was thinking and what he felt sunk in. A smile spread across his face, he loved Dawn.  
  
He turned Dawn around so that they were face to face. Spike saw the tears fall down her face and knew she had never looked more beautiful. Spike wiped the tears from her cheek with his hand and stared longingly into her eyes. Her beauty took his breath away and he looked at her trying to find the courage to tell her how he felt.  
  
'Spike?' Dawn asked, she loved this man and in his arms she felt right but knew this feeling wouldn't last.  
  
'Shhhh' Spike said putting his finger to her lips and then began to kiss her. Dawn kissed him back placing her arms around his waist and moved closer into him until she felt completely surrounded by just him as if there was nothing else left in the world except them. As Dawn moved towards him Spike felt her warm body leaning on him, depending on him and knew he needed to tell her.  
  
'Dawn...' Spike said still holding her close to him trying to tell her how he felt.  
  
'Spike, I don't know if you want to hear this but I need to tell you. I'm not expecting anything but I need you to know this.' Spike looked at her a little confused. His face was so handsome in the light Dawn felt her heart melt as she looked into his eyes.  
  
'Spike I think I'm falling in love with you.' Dawn didn't wait for a reaction just leaned in and kissed him. Knowing she had done the right thing for herself as he began to kiss her back. As she pulled out of the kiss she looked at him smiled, held his hand and walked into the hall.  
  
'Do want me to go?' Spike asked puzzled.  
  
'No,' Dawn replied, smiling at how sweet and innocent the vampire could be. Still holding his hand, she began to lead him upstairs towards her room.  
  
Spike hesitated for a moment unsure if this was the right thing to do. He looked into Dawn's eyes and wondering if it was the right thing for Dawn, and followed her up the stairs ignoring any noises from outside thinking, 'what could possibly go wrong!' 


	15. distractions

SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG HOPE YOU LIKE THE NEXT INSTALLMENT. VOILA.  
  
As they reached the top of the stairs, Dawn turned back to Spike he immediately turned her around gently and lifted her up to his lips. They kissed softly and then pulled away looking into each other's eyes.  
  
Dawn was unable to take her eyes of him, off the man who whom she loved. He looked back at her worried whether this really was what Dawn wanted. Dawn smiled at him, showing how happy she felt and to reassure him. Dawn lightly took his hand and led him to the door of her bedroom. Spike quickly kissed her catching her off guard and falling against the wall while kissing Spike. Dawn giggled trying to stop feeling so nervous.  
  
Suddenly as they were kissing again and Spike was turning the handle of her door. As Dawn looked through the door she realised how young and childish the room seemed. This wasn't the idea Dawn was trying to portray to him.  
  
'Wait,' Dawn almost shouted, embarrassed by the outburst and by her room. Spike moved back stunned. 'Um... just 1 minute.' Dawn said pushing past him, and sliding through door so Spike couldn't see. She quickly pecked him on cheek, gave him a reassuring smile and shut the door.  
  
She quickly picked up random clothes lying across the floor and her bed. She threw them into the closet and looked around the room. She had never thought the room was more childish, god how was she going to look to Spike. She didn't think he had ever been in her room before. She picked up some cuddly toys she still had. It wasn't fair Buffy had had soft toys, like Mr Gordo but if Dawn had any she felt like a kid.  
  
She looked around the room it would have to do. She quickly brushed her hair and smiled uneasily to herself in the mirror. She straightened the bed and went to the door nervously biting her lip.  
  
She opened it to find Spike leaning against the door. He fell backwards onto the floor and looked up at Dawn, who was just standing there laughing. Spike stood up trying to look cooler than he felt. Dawn just smiled at how adorable he was. Spike looked around the room. It was exactly what he had expected of Dawn. He was still unsure if this was the right thing to do. He knew she had never had a serious boyfriend before so he would be her first.  
  
Dawn sensed his resistance and kissed him passionately trying to tell him she was ok. Spike placed his hands over her waist and pulled her towards him. She instinctively moved her arms around his neck and kissed him back. They slowly stepped towards the centre of the room and Dawn pushed the door, closing it.  
  
They parted with Spike's hands still around her waist. He could sense her fear and hesitation and wondered if she could tell how nervous he was. He sat on the edge of the bed with Dawn looking into his eyes as she nibbled her lip.  
  
'Look Dawn if you're not ready, that's ok,' Spike said reassuring as he draped his arm around her back.  
  
Dawn turned to him and looked him in the eyes so near to his face.  
  
'Spike, I love you and that's all that matters. I know you, you make me happy.' He smiled at her, loving her more than ever. They kissed passionately.'  
  
Spike sadly pulled out of the embrace. Dawn looked puzzled at his sad expression. He looked intently into her eyes.  
  
'Niblet, there's something I have to tell you,' Dawn looked bewildered and the smile from her face fell, worried about what he was about to say.  
  
'No,' Spike said quickly from the expression on Dawn's face. 'It's nothing bad.' He smiled stroking her hair. 'Well I think it's a good thing.'  
  
Spike paused unsure how to tell her. The last time had told a woman he loved her, Buffy had not reacted how he hoped.  
  
'Dawn, I love you,' Dawn's face lit up as she questioned,  
  
'Are you sure?'  
  
'Yes,' Spike replied smiling at her. Dawn smiled back. This was the best feeling in the world.  
  
'Spike, I'm so sorry about what I said earlier. I didn't mean it.'  
  
'Of course you did,' Spike replied. 'But it doesn't matter,' he said kissing her.  
  
Dawn smiled leaning back on the bed. They began to kiss more passionately this time, Dawn's nerves forgotten.  
  
Dawn and Spike looked into each other's eyes. 'I love you,' Dawn said kissing him.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn and Spike kissed, Spike gently slid his hand under her top resting them in the middle of her back. Dawn slowly undid the buttons on her shirt, her hands shaking as they kissed more and more passionately. With her nerves forgotten she removed Spike's shirt leaving her hands across his cold, toned body. Dawn let out a little gasp as Spike kissed her neck.  
  
Suddenly Dawn's eyes widened and a confused look came over her face as she looked out of her bedroom window.  
  
'Spike,' she said nervously. Spike kissed her and looked into her eyes. Dawn smiled at him and lent to her left at something behind him.  
  
'Why is the tree in my backyard on fire?'  
  
I KNOW IT'S SHORT BUT I THOUGHT THIS WAS JUST A GREAT PLACE TO END. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK? I KNOW STUFF STILL NEEDS EXPLAINING LIKE THE NOISES OUTSIDE AS SOMEONE MENTIONED BUT ALL WILL BE REVEALED THOUGH IT ISN'T WHAT SOME MAY THINK.  
  
AGAIN PLEASE REVIEW BECAUSE IT MAKES ME WANT TO UPDATE SOONER. THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE REVIEWED KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK X  
  
JUST THOUGHT I'D LET ANYONE WHO HAS READ MY STORY AND TRIED TO REVIEW BUT COULDN'T THAT SOEMONE TOLD ME I DON'T ACCEPT UNSIGNED REVIEWS BUT IVE CHANGED IT SO PLEASE REVIEW 


	16. the wonderer returns

I TOTALLY LOVE THE TALK BETWEEN DAWN AND SPIKE IN THE SUMMERS HOUSE BEFORE BUFFY COMES BACK AND THE TALK BETWEEN BUFFY AND DAWN ON THE TOWER BUT I WANTED TO MAKE MINE MORE ME THAN JOSS SO I HOPE YOU LIKE.  
  
Spike turned around quickly making Dawn jump. He leaped off the bed and went straight over to the window. Dawn sat on the bed embarrassed as she covered herself up with her shirt. As Spike continued to stare out of the window, Dawn slowly stood up moving towards the window. She kept her distance away from him as she silently looked out of the window purposefully not looking at him.  
  
As they both stared out of the window they saw flames from the tree rising as high as the bedroom window.  
  
'Um...what's going on?' Dawn said her arms crossed protectively.  
  
'Not sure Niblet,' Spike said still focussed on something outside.  
  
'I'm going to go and check downstairs, out the front,' Dawn said practically running out of the room. As she reached the lounge she paused taking a deep breath and quickly tried to finish buttoning up her shirt. She sighed as she realised she had missed out a button and would have to start again.  
  
Suddenly she heard a crash outside. Forgetting her top Dawn rushed to the window flinging the curtain outside and stared into the darkness.  
  
'Get away from the window,' Spike shouted running down the stairs. Dawn turned back to him still holding the curtain back. Spike rushed up behind her closing the curtain. ' We can't let them see us.'  
  
'Who?' Dawn said turning back to the window. Spike flung the curtain shut angrily nearly breaking it. Dawn flinched as his arm came down and sat back onto the couch her feet pulled under her. Spike didn't notice but went across and checked the windows in the dining room.  
  
'Have you checked the back door was locked?' Spike asked Dawn impatiently. Dawn shook her head silently as Spike looked towards her and then headed straight for the kitchen.  
  
'What's out there?' Dawn asked nervously. 'I didn't get a chance to see. All I saw was some scary looking demons or very ugly heavily tattooed guys riding on motorbikes, setting fire to stuff and trashing basically everything.' Dawn suddenly became quiet realising she was babbling from being so nervous. She wasn't nervous about the demons that seemed to have a fascination with fire but with Spike. About what they had nearly done and now Spike was acting... different. Dawn shook her head trying to focus on the demons outside the house.  
  
As Dawn peered out through the window again Spike came up behind her. 'I told you stay away from the window,' he said taking her arm and gently pulling her away from the window. As Spike took her arm Dawn felt butterflies rising up in her stomach. She looked at Spike's face hoping for just a moment that he would look at her the same way he had upstairs. Instead her hopes fell as he looked quickly past her and to the weapons chest.  
  
She remained standing there feeling useless as he looked out of the window. 'What are they?' She asked again her voice shaking showing her fear.  
  
'Road pirates, they raid empty towns anyplace that's vulnerable.' Spike replied picking up an axe. Dawn's eyes widened as Spike turned to her.  
  
'They know Buffy's gone.' Dawn said the worry clear in her tone of voice.  
  
'We have to leave,' Spike said firmly. Dawn looked at him in panic turning from side to side obviously freaking. Spike grabbed Dawn by the shoulders gently. Dawn looked down at her arm where he was touching her and looked up nervously. She looked up into his deep blue eyes, into the eyes of the man she loved. As she looked into his eyes she suddenly felt calm. She trusted him completely, unquestioning he would keep her safe. 'Trust me,' he said looking deep into Dawn's eyes. She nodded silently giving him a weak smile to show she was ok.  
  
As they slipped outside the back door Dawn gasped at the demons. As they squatted behind a bush Dawn looked at Spike. Only a couple of hours ago she had been hiding behind a different bush. As she stared at Spike and his face she sighed at why everything was suddenly different. Dawn shook her head trying to forget and focus on the demons.  
  
'How are we supposed to get past them?' Dawn questioned.  
  
'We'll take the sewers,' Spike said heading to a man hole cover.  
  
'Ewwww,' Dawn said loudly. Spike looked at her and sighed. 'I'm coming,' Dawn added meekly.  
  
As Dawn trailed through the sewers following Spike she screwed up her face as she tried to avoid puddles. Thank god I'm only wearing trainers Dawn thought to herself. Buffy would have stalked through here in suede boots and blamed me. Suddenly Dawn thought she heard something behind her. She spun around, froze and peered out into the darkness but seeing nothing let out deep breathes and turned around again. As she neared a fork in the sewers she looked around. Where the hell was Spike?  
  
Silently in her head she was panicking. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, her eyes full of panic.  
  
'Spike,' she shouted out. Trying to stop her voice from wavering. Hearing no reply she looked around and tried to see down the two paths she could take. One led to a ladder leading up to the surface and the other continued through the sewers.  
  
Dawn had no idea where Spike could of gone. He hadn't even told her where they were going. She ran her fingers through her hair panicking.  
  
'Ok, she said out loud. 'I'm fine no injured body part I can deal.' Suddenly from the direction she had come from she heard a splash. Dawn's head spun around in panic. It couldn't be Spike he would have been calling her name. She froze not knowing what to do.  
  
'I'm going to be fine,' she said to herself trying to reassure herself.  
  
'I don't think so,' Dawn heard someone or something say. She took a final look at the two paths choosing the latter. She ran to the ladder and turned to see a vampire running at her. She squealed climbing up the ladder. She slipped on one step but managed to pull herself up swiftly. She could hear the vampire behind her. He could tell her heart was racing. The panic was intoxicating. He smiled at this panicking little girl not once wondering why she was running about in a sewer. Dawn looked up trying to push the manhole cover off. It wouldn't move.  
  
***************  
  
Spike began to run through the sewers as he turned left continuing through. After a minute silence Spike turned to Dawn to check she was ok. Turning round he stopped, where was she? Listening he tried to hear anything. Any sign that Dawn was ok.  
  
'Dawn?' He called out worried. He had been so busy trying to sense where the demons were he had ignored Dawn for a second. He hit the wall angry with himself causing a cut on his hand. He shook it trying to stop the acute pain. Suddenly Spike heard an echo clearly of Dawn shouting his name. He looked back down the tunnel. He sensed Dawn's fear, although very faint. He began to run back along the tunnel searching for any noise.  
  
'Dawn!' he called out again. If only he knew these sewers better. He didn't know this part of the sewers as well. He knew how to get to Dawn's house, his crypt, the magic box, a couple of graveyards and around the Bronze like the back of his pale dead hand but anywhere else was more difficult. Especially as he didn't know which way Dawn had gone. She didn't know the sewers at all. He didn't know if it was the first time she had been down here but he knew it wasn't one of her usual shortcuts. He paused momentarily trying to hear which way Dawn was. Noticing a fresh footprint in the mud he knew something was near here, near Dawn. His face vamped out knowing Dawn might be in trouble and set off down the tunnel.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn froze in fear. She turned her head to see with vampire slowly stalking up to her. She banged furiously on the cover. Blocking any noise out any other movement she focused on moving it. Suddenly she felt a slight movement, she smiled giving it one harder shove. It slid off so Dawn tried to scramble up through using all of her strength. If only I had super powers Dawn wished. As she was nearly out she felt something grab her foot. Pain shot up her leg as the vampire dug his nails into her leg. She tried to kick her leg but he only managed to grip her leg tighter. Trying to ignore the pain she pulled on her leg managing to kick him in the face. He reeled back in pain still managing to keep hold of her shoe. As he pulled hard Dawn felt it loosen around her ankle. She held on tightly as she gave one final kick. Her shoes flew off with the vampire still holding it. He flew backwards hitting the wall.  
  
Dawn didn't look to see what the vampire was doing just jumped up out of the manhole, closing down the lid as she gave one final into the hole seeing the demon. As she tightly secured the lid this time, she sat on it making certain the vampire couldn't escape. She sat there for a moment catching her breath back. As she stood up she looked down at her feet. She had lost one of her new trainer, she sighed realising the demon would never fully appreciate her decent footwear.  
  
She looked around realising her surroundings. She vaguely remembered where she was, near one of the abandoned warehouses that there seemed to be so many of in Sunnydale. She bit her lip nervously seeing all the fires surrounding her. As she hobbled along she looked around discovering it wasn't the abandoned warehouse she thought it was. She was completely lost. Maybe the sewers would have been a better idea.  
  
***************  
  
As Spike continued down the sewers he saw a movement to his left. He turned seeing a vampire sprawled across the floor. He looked around hearing a clang seeing the lid of a manhole cover close. He ran towards it but the vampire kicked out at Spike's foot knocking him forward.  
  
He rolled over and stood back up squaring off with the vampire who had stood up as well. As the vampire ran at him he grabbed him by the shirt pulled him forward and kneed him up in his chest. The vampire fell to the floor. Spike turned around looking for something sharp and wooden. The vampire still sprawled on the floor again knocked Spike over. Spike not being caught off guard this time fell on his hands, grabbed a sharp edged piece of wood from a pile of rubbish and jumped back up immediately. As the vampire swung a hit at Spike, he blocked it with the wood, and then swung the piece of wood at him knocking the vampire backwards. As the vampire regained his balance Spike was there punching his jaw sending him crashing at the wall. As he turned round, the vampire wiped blood from his chin. As the vampire looked up Spike smiled at him.  
  
The vampire confused by his expression looked down seeing the wood sticking out from his chest. Spike turned to the manhole cover, as the vampire became a pile of ashes. He pushed at the cover realising it would budge. If it was Dawn who had just got out she knew how to secure a man hole lid. He sighed turning back down the sewers.  
  
'Now where can I get out of here?' he said to himself.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn walked down one street and reached the end she sighed. She still had no idea where she was. She turned in fear as she heard a motorbike. She was afraid it would stop but it seemed to ignore her and sped away. Maybe there're finally leaving Dawn thought to herself.  
  
Looking ahead she recognised a street name. She ran to the road realising where it was and let out a sigh of relief. All she had to do now was make it home avoiding any demons while wearing only one shoe. Along the road she saw what looked like the Buffybot. Only it seemed to be her head and torso. She picked up one of her legs on the way and walked over to it. Squatting down next to it she looked at the Buffybot's face. She gently stroked Buffy's chin as tears welled up in her eyes. Blinking she told herself it was only a machine, it wasn't Buffy even though it looked at her. She stroked the Buffybot's hair one final time before standing up, dropping the leg and walking away slowly.  
  
She stared into the distance squinting seeing someone run across the road. Her eyes widened as she ran to try and keep up with the figure. Hobbling along she caught up with the girl and grabbed her by the arm. She turned around and Dawn let out a gasp.  
  
'Buffy,' Dawn said quietly looking into her sister's eyes. Buffy didn't reply just looked at her afraid, her eyes wide. 'Buffy, how?' Dawn repeated. As a look of recognition wavered across Buffy' face, tears formed in Dawn's eyes and she hugged Buffy.  
  
'Buffy I've missed you so much, after you went away.' Dawn said still hugging her. As she finally pulled away she looked at Buffy. There were so many questions going through her head. 'I don't know how you've came back or why but Buffy.' Dawn paused just waiting for a reaction. 'I don't know where you've been or what happened to you wherever you went but now you're back, it's over. It's finished. ' Dawn added beginning to cry. Buffy stared back at her emotionless. Dawn paused again as she quietly sobbed. 'It has been so hard without you, I've tried to be strong like you, to make you proud but it's hard. I'm sorry, I want to do better but only if you're here. I need you to be here, for me.' Dawn said sadly. 'I love you and I've missed you.' Buffy forced a small smile as she gently stroked Dawn's hair.  
  
'Dawn,' she said slightly afraid. Dawn smiled she stroked Buffy's face.  
  
'But now you're here and you're home.' Dawn said. Dawn hugged her again, smiling. Dawn gently rested her head on Buffy's shoulder. She sighed happily realising how much she'd missed Buffy over the last few months. As Buffy's hair gently tickled Dawn's cheek she closed her eyes elated she was with Buffy.  
  
As Dawn tightly hugged Buffy as is she was never going to let her go, she didn't see Buffy close her eyes as if she was in pain and a tear slowly fall down her cheek.  
  
Neither did she notice Buffy's face fall or the sadness in Buffy's voice as she replied.  
  
'It's ok I'm here,'  
  
I WASN'T SURE IF THIS WAS THE PLACE TO STOP, SO LET ME KNOW IF YOU THINK IT'S OK.  
  
SOUNDING LIKE A BROKEN RECORD BUT ANY OPINIONS, FEEDBACK AND IDEAS WOULD BE GREATLY APPRECIATED. THANK U TO ALL HAVE REVIEWED SO FAR PLEASE REVIEW MORE THOUGH X BEING ABLE TO NOW GET UNSIGNED REVIEWS I AM EXPECTING MANY MORE. K? 


	17. home

I KNOW THIS CHAPTER USES LINES FROM THE SHOW BUT I'VE TRIED TO CHANGE IT A LITTLE SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT. I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTER OR SOME OF THE LINES BECAUSE I'M FAR TOO STUPID AND JOSS IS KING. I SALUTE YOU JOSS!  
  
As Dawn and Buffy reached the house Dawn let go of Buffy's hand and turned to the flower pot by the door looking for the key. She picked it up triumphant smiling warmly towards Buffy. Seeing Buffy's scared face Dawn's smile lessened and quietly tried to comfort her sister.  
  
'It's ok Buffy, you're home remember, we live here, everything's going to be ok now.' Dawn said softly squeezing her hand. Dawn gently opened the door and led Buffy in. She seemed so frail; Dawn thought looking at the slayer as she shut the door. Buffy winced at the brightness of the lights in the living room as they walked through the house. Buffy remained silent taking in her surroundings.  
  
'The rooms a little different,' Dawn began trying to reassure Buffy. 'Tara and Willow live here with me...with us now. All the witchy and computer stuff is theirs obviously.' Dawn said pointing to the computer on the dining room table. 'Willow and Tara moved in when you...' Dawn paused not knowing how to end the sentence. As the silence lengthened Dawn added 'We should probably clean you up,' Dawn said looking at Buffy's clothes caked in mud, her tangled hair and the dirt on her face.  
  
After Dawn had Buffy looking spotless they went into the slayer's room. Once again Buffy winced at the lights as Dawn switched them on.  
  
'See this is your room,' Dawn said calmly. 'It's still the same except for the Buffybot's machine but ... we won't need that anymore.'  
  
As Buffy sat nervously on the edge of the bed, Dawn sat behind her and began to gently brush her hair taking her time to carefully remove any knots.  
  
She delicately smoothed down her long blonde hair, carefully tying it up and then admiring her work.  
  
'There you go,' Dawn said reassuringly. 'All done, see how nice you look,' She stood back to look at Buffy. Buffy looked around trying to ignore Dawn's gaze. As Dawn paused about to say something Buffy quickly turned to the door. Buffy slowly headed out onto the landing pausing in front of a picture of their mom. Dawn followed her stopping silently behind her.  
  
'Do you like it?' Dawn said searching for approval as Buffy jerked her head back to Dawn as if she had forgotten Dawn was there. 'When Tara and Willow moved in we had to move some of Mom's things. I found it with some photos from last summer before Mom got sick. We went to the beach with Xander and Willow and Giles remember. We had a barbeque and Xander set fire to one of his shoes.' Dawn smiled at the memory, as Buffy remained motionless. Dawn looked at Buffy not knowing what to do or say. Buffy turned continuing into Willow and Tara's room. Buffy looked around at all the changes.  
  
'Willow and Tara live her,' Buffy said quietly.  
  
'Yes,' Dawn said. 'They moved in when you... when you went away. I know it's really different. It was the biggest room and it seemed to make the most sense. I found the photos in here, a draw in the dressing table.' Dawn pointing going silent realising she had begun to babble being so nervous. As Buffy turned and took a step towards the door Dawn touched her arm.  
  
'Buffy can we just stop,' Dawn said suddenly. '...And talk' Dawn added desperately. She was so happy to see her sister but she wanted the old Buffy to be back, not the one that flinched at everything.  
  
'What...?' Buffy began. 'Wh...what...? Dawn lent towards Buffy listening intently to her. 'What about the others?' Buffy said trailing off.  
  
'Oh,' Dawn said standing up straight. 'Well Giles left about a month ago because you were... but he'll come back now that you're.... back.' Dawn paused not knowing what to say. Dawn looked at Buffy as her eyes skittered around the room. 'And Willow and Xander and the others are out patrolling but they'll be back soon,' Dawn reassured. 'And Spike was looking after me but....' Dawn stopped as Buffy had suddenly walked out of the room and onto the landing. Dawn sighed quietly to herself. 'I'm fine though.'  
  
As Dawn ran in front of Buffy she stopped her by the door.  
  
'Buffy...' Dawn began desperately. Unexpectedly Buffy looked around the room quickly.  
  
'What was that?' Buffy asked nervously.  
  
Dawn ignored the noise trying to reassure Buffy.  
  
'It's nothing, just a siren outside.' Dawn said patiently. She quietly led Buffy down the stairs and into the kitchen. As Buffy stood woodenly Dawn opened the refrigerator. 'Do you want something to drink?' Dawn said with energy trying to enthuse Buffy. 'We've got juice,' Dawn poked her head out from behind the door to see Buffy looking around the kitchen awkwardly. 'Or something to eat?' Dawn turned back to Buffy hearing the door.  
  
'Dawn, Dawn are you here?' Spike shouted opening the door.  
  
Dawn turned carefully to Buffy. 'It's just Spike,' Dawn reassured quietly. As Buffy stood motionless she turned down to the hall.  
  
'Spike,' she said quietly not knowing whether to be excited Buffy was back or worried about how she was acting. 'Spike I've got something to tell...' Dawn said calmly. She didn't have time to continue as Spike cut her off.  
  
'Where the hell did you go? You scared me half to death or more to death.' Spike shook his head before continuing. 'I could kill you, rip your head off and drink from your brain stem.' Spike paused staring at Dawn. She looked back at him silently even though inside she was feeling so much. 'If I hadn't been so worried,' Spike added more quietly, accusing Dawn as he extended his arms. Dawn smiled lovingly at him embracing him, gently resting her head on his shoulder. She smiled up at him as he moved down to kiss her. She quickly kissed him before pulling away embarrassed knowing Buffy was in the other room. Spike looked at her confused as Dawn stepped away from him so they were close but no longer touching.  
  
'Spike,' she smiled up at him. 'Look,' she said pointing towards the kitchen. Spike looked quickly and then back to Dawn. Slowly registering what he had just seem he looked back to the kitchen as Buffy slowly walked towards them.  
  
Spike instinctively knew this wasn't the Buffybot. There was something about her that enabled Spike to know it was the real Buffy. His eyes widened as he stepped away from Dawn and towards Buffy. He stared at Buffy looking at her as if really seeing her for the first time. He smiled at Buffy unable to take in she was real. Buffy looked down to the floor embarrassed by his stare. She looked away to Dawn and brushed some hair behind her ear shyly.  
  
'She's been through a lot with...death and everything, but I think she's ok.' Dawn said looking at Buffy. Spike continued to stare back mesmerised completely forgetting Dawn was there.  
  
'Buffy,' Dawn said stepping towards Buffy and lifting her hand away to get a better look at her bleeding knuckles. 'Ouch,' Dawn said cringing. She turned to Spike who was still mesmerised by Buffy before looking back at Buffy. 'I'll go get some bandages, I don't know how she did it,' Dawn added to Spike. Still Spike remained silent. As Dawn ran upstairs Spike sat on the edge of the coffee table while Buffy sat on the couch in front of him.  
  
'I know how,' Spike said taking her hand. Buffy looked away embarrassed. 'Done it myself crawling out a coffin.' Buffy looked across to him sadly reliving it in her head. Spike said staring intently into her eyes. 'I'll take care of them.' Buffy looked back at him thankful. As the two stared into each other's eyes Spike gently took both her hands in his, the disbelief still evident as he smiled at Buffy.  
  
'How long was I...' Buffy started looking away. '...Gone?'  
  
'Just over 3 months,' Spike said. 'Longest couple of months of my life.' Spike paused looking down at her hands. 'How long was it for you, where you were?'  
  
'Longer,' Buffy said sadly. Spike nodded to her, hypnotized by her beauty.  
  
'Knew death would never stop you.' Spike said smiling at her. Buffy stared back into his eyes trying to tell him what she was feeling without saying a word. Her eyes so full of pain but it seemed as if it hurt too much to cry.  
  
Buffy and Spike looked at each other in silence unaware Dawn stood half way down the stairs looking at them. She stared from Buffy to Spike without a sound looking at their faces and then down at the bandages in her hands. Dawn was so happy Buffy was back, she still didn't know why or how but she didn't care. She just knew her sister was back. But when she looked at the two of them sitting there together Dawn felt odd, she couldn't explain it but had a horrible feeling deep in her stomach. She shook her head as she noisily came down the stairs.  
  
'Here you are,' Dawn said coming into the lounge. Spike turned to Dawn taking the bandages from her and smiling kindly up at her. As Dawn sat next to Buffy they all remained silent not knowing what to say. As Spike finished Buffy's hands suddenly Willow, Tara, Xander and Anya burst through the door searching for Buffy. Spike placed the bandages on the table surprised by their appearance and stepped away from the group.  
  
'She's here,' Willow said loudly to the others as they followed her into the room.  
  
Dawn looked at them all confused.  
  
'You knew she was back? How did you know she was back?' Dawn asked. She looked at them waiting for an answer as they tried to catch their breath. 'You did this,' Dawn accused not knowing whether to be pleased or angry. 'How did you do this?'  
  
'We did a spell,' Willow replied a concerned look on her face. 'We didn't think it worked.' Dawn turned towards the door and saw Spike closing the door behind him. She quickly and silently followed him as the others focused on Buffy.  
  
Dawn gently closed the door behind her making sure they didn't hear her.  
  
'Spike,' she shouted running up to him.  
  
Spike stood leaning against a tree in the yard, his eyes closed taking a deep breath. He turned surprised to see Dawn running up to him, quickly wiping his hand across his eyes to remove any sign he had begun to cry. She stopped next to him placing her hands in her pockets.  
  
'So...' she said realising she didn't know what to say. Spike looked at her also unaware of what to say.  
  
'So Buffy's back,' Dawn said cheerily. Spike smiled at her.  
  
'Nothing gets past you Niblet,' He agreed. Dawn swayed side-to-side looking up at the stars.  
  
'So did you know?' Dawn asked suddenly.  
  
Spike smiled to himself as he lit a cigarette. 'No,' he said looking straight at Dawn. She stepped towards him a little hesitantly. Spike froze. All these thought were whizzing through his head about Buffy and what seeing her meant. He couldn't think about his feelings for Dawn as well.  
  
As Dawn stood there Spike looked up at her, now with the light from a streetlight shining on her face. As he looked closer at her he saw tears falling down her cheek.  
  
'Dawn,' he said worried. 'What's the matter?' he said stepping closer to her.  
  
'I don't know,' Dawn said wiping her eyes and smiling up to him realising how stupid she was being. 'I'm sorry,' she apologised. 'I'm just being silly. I mean Buffy's back and I should be happy, and I am,' she said certainly. 'I don't know what's wrong with me.' Spike wrapped his arms around her as she hugged him back. She sighed contently leaning against his strong body. 'Today's just been kind of crazy you know? First you.' Dawn said shifting her eyes not knowing how to say it. 'And then being chased by a demon in the sewers and then Buffy. There's just a lot of stuff going on and I don't think my brain processing it yet.  
  
'Same here Niblet,' He said stroking her hair with a worried expression. Dawn looked up to Spike still hugging him and smiled. As she moved up about to kiss him he quickly pulled away pushing Dawn away from him. She turned to him surprised, the hurt evident on her face. Spike motioned to the front door where Xander and Anya had just appeared. Dawn turned towards them her emotions quickly disappearing from her face. She quickly wiped her eyes and smiled over to them. Seeing Dawn and Spike, Anya and Xander quickly ended a hushed discussion and greeted them both with fake smile which Dawn returned equally fake.  
  
'Dawn, what are you doing here?' Xander asked concerned. 'Weren't you inside?' He pointed to the house.  
  
'Just going back,' Dawn said happily looking towards Spike then the others. 'I'll see you guys later,' she said walking backwards towards the house. She turned and ran across to the front door gently opening it. She turned back as she closed the door to see an argument begin between Spike and Xander wondering what it was about.  
  
Dawn turned around to see Buffy standing looking at her silently. Dawn's face changed to concern  
  
'Are you ok Buffy?' Dawn asked. Buffy nodded silently,  
  
'Tired.' Buffy said quietly. 'Um... I was going to lie down, my room is still...?'  
  
'Yeah, yes it's still your room.' Dawn replied. Buffy turned heading up the stairs silently. Dawn stared up after her, a concerned expression on Dawn's face.  
  
***************  
  
'You didn't tell me she was back, how could you not tell me she was back? I worked beside you for months fighting demons.' Spike said angrily to Xander gently pushing him against the tree threateningly careful not to hurt him and set his chip off. 'I protected Dawn and you still didn't tell me.'  
  
'We didn't tell you...' Xander replied pushing the vampire away from him knowing Spike couldn't harm him.  
  
'I've figured it out, Red knew it could go wrong, knew I wouldn't let you get rid of any part that was Buffy. And now look at her, how did you expect her to be?' Spike said his anger rising again. 'She would be happy, smiling thanking you for bringing her back. Those memories will haunt her forever and there is nothing any of you will be able to do about it.' As the anger overtook Spike he punched Xander across the face. Xander grabbed his nose in pain as Anya jerked away in surprise before moved towards him and taking his arm.  
  
'Xander,' Anya screamed concerned. She looked at his nose before turning to Spike who was screaming in pain holding his head. 'What the hell do you think your doing?' She said angry. 'What were you thinking?' She said hitting Spike across the arm. Spike ignored her weak punch still in pain from the chip. 'What if he can't have sex tonight?  
  
Xander looked at her embarrassed as Spike froze turning to look at the ex- vengeance demon with a mixture of disgust and embarrassment on his face. 'I should get Willow to put a spell on you, where you'll get tortured for eternity.'  
  
'That's the problem with magic,' Spike said to them. 'There's always consequences!' He strode away from Xander and Anya angry with them and the witches. He didn't turn back to look at Xander or Anya but continued quickly along the street giving one final glance at the house. He didn't know what to think. Spike was in love with two women and they were both in that house.  
  
* Stargurl727 I know how this story is going to end and it wont be BS. But this doesn't mean things are going to be simple. I don't want to give away too much of what's going to happen but it won't end up BS! Some of the middle is a question mark even to me! *  
  
I MAY BE ANNOYING TO KEEP ASKING BUT I'M ALSO QUIRKY, VERY KOOL, AND SMART ACCORDING TO MY TEACHERS, SO PLEASE REVIEW! COME ON PEOPLE I NEED REVIEWS, IF YOU LIKE MY STORY JUST TELL ME K? OR IF YOU HATE IT JUST TELL ME TOO.  
  
ALSO I POSTED ANOTHER STORY A WHILE AGO CALLED 'LOVING YOU TWO.' I REALISED I HADN'T BEEN GIVING IT THE ATTENTION IT DESERVED AS MY LOYALTY IS TO THIS ONE SO I HAVE REMOVED IT. I WILL PROBABLY ADD IT AGAIN AT A LATER DATE BUT I'M NOT READY FOR MORE THAN ONE STORY AT THE MOMENT. 


	18. consequences of a very long night

I'M GOING TO APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE FOR THE LITTLE BIT OF SPUFFY HERE. I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE DON'T LIKE IT AND WANT DS SO THERE'S SOME OF THAT AS WELL. SO JUST ENJOY THE STORY IT WILL ALL WORK OUT IN THE END.  
  
Dawn fell onto the couch with a sigh. She didn't know what to feel. Should she be sad, worried or happy Buffy was back?  
  
'We're off to bed Dawnie. Will you be up in a bit?' Willow said coming from the kitchen as Tara followed with a cup of hot chocolate.  
  
Dawn realising she was being spoken to came out of her thoughts and sat up.  
  
'Yeah, I'm just going to tidy up,' she said picking up some of the bandages on the table. Tara smiled at Dawn as she turned up the stairs. As they disappeared up the stairs Dawn returned to her own thoughts.  
  
No one had told her how to react when her sister returned from the dead. There was no handbook to how to deal with all the thoughts she had to deal with. If there was Giles would probably have it somewhere, Dawn thought to herself smiling. Though he certainly wouldn't have a book on what to do when you fall in love with a vampire.  
  
Dawn rested her head back sighing again. Suddenly everything was so complicated. It had all been so easy and everything was so clear before tonight. So much had happened in one night and Dawn suddenly felt exhausted. She picked up the rest of the bandages on the table as she stood up. As she reached the top of the stairs she turned and looked at Buffy's door. She went to knock it but stopped. She shook her head realising Buffy would probably be asleep. Dawn could wait for answers until tomorrow.  
  
As she entered her room she immediately laid on the bed still dressed and closed her eyes. Although her mind was thinking through everything today her body was tired. Eventually her exhaustion won and she fell into a light sleep dreaming of Buffy and Spike, and the Scooby gang playing soccer with a carrot.  
  
***************  
  
Spike woke with a start. He sat up quickly only to return to his original position grabbing his head in pain from the after effect of last night. After his argument with Xander and Anya he had gone to Willy's place. He had thought a game of kitten poker would have taken his mind off Buffy and Dawn but Spike had also found vodka effective. As he slowly crawled out of bed he saw how near sundown it was. He carefully began to pick up the charred pieces of beer bottles he had tripped over in his drunken stupor last night. He then checked the fridge looking for some blood. Realising there was none left he picked up his jacket, saw the sun was low enough for him to go out and left for the butchers.  
  
***************  
  
'I don't know Janice,' Dawn said to her friend. It was late and the two friends were walking home after detention. 'Well I'm not going to ask him.'  
  
'Come on Dawn,' Janice whined. 'How else are we going to find out?' Dawn stopped and turned to her friend.  
  
'I'm am not going to ask the scariest guy in school if he knows how to knit.' Dawn said smiling at her friend. Janice pouted and continued walking. 'It probably wasn't even a knitting needle you saw, maybe some kind of weapon or a chopstick. What if he stabs me with it?' Dawn argued laughing. 'Could you cope with the guilt?'  
  
'I'd miss you Dawn,' she said seriously. 'But I wouldn't feel guilty.' She smiled at Dawn to show she was joking as Dawn pushed her gently on the arm. 'I'd ask him my self but... he scares me,' she said honestly. 'Plus,' she added looking at Dawn. 'He likes you.' Dawn stared back at her in shock. 'Don't give me that look Dawn,' Janice said. 'You know he does, I saw him scratch your initials into one of the desks with his pen knife in History yesterday.'  
  
'Oh how romantic,' Dawn said ironically. 'That could have been anyone,' Dawn said pretending to be distracted with her bag strap. 'It could stand for Davis in form room.' Janice raised her eyebrows at Dawn.  
  
'Dawn he's a guy.' Janice argued. Dawn sighed realising she'd lost. Suddenly she narrowed her eyes looking at someone in the distance.  
  
'Dawn,' Janice repeated impatiently. She waved her hand in front of Dawn's face. Dawn looked away at Janice noticing she was there.  
  
'Huh, what?' As Janice was about to reply Dawn cut her off. 'Janice I'm going to have to go,' Dawn said returning her gaze to what had distracted her initially. 'I'll see you later,' she added not looking at her.  
  
'I guess, my mom said come round about 6 tomorrow ok.' Janice said a little taken aback before turning to her right so Dawn was no longer in view.  
  
Dawn's pace increased as she chased after him.  
  
'Spike,' she called out. He turned suddenly to face her surprised. She ran up to him hugging him. She smiled to herself as he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
She pulled away to look at him smiling. Her smile faltered as he looked away from her.  
  
'Spike are you ok?' Dawn said worried.  
  
'I'm fine,' Spike said turning to Dawn. The sickening feeling from last night had returned to Dawn. She suddenly felt really uneasy. Dawn noticed the distance between them and began fidgeting with her bag strap again.  
  
'So where are you going?' Dawn asked trying to prevent an awkward silence.  
  
'Butchers,' Spike said. His hangover had returned.  
  
'Spike are you sure you're ok?' Dawn repeated concerned about Spike. Her worry was obvious in her face.  
  
'I'm fine Dawn,' he said reassuringly telling himself as much as he tried to convince Dawn. 'Had a bit too much to drink last night.' Dawn eyes didn't waver from his face. Spike could tell what Dawn was thinking through her eyes. He tried to show Dawn that he was ok and she didn't have to worry about him. She smiled back for a moment before turning to look at where the sun had gone.  
  
'I didn't realise it was so late; Willow and Tara will wonder where I am.' Dawn said before pausing to think. 'I guess Buffy will too.' Dawn added smiling genuinely. 'It's so weird that I can say that again.' She laughed.  
  
Spike smiled back at her,  
  
'Sure is Niblet.' Dawn smiled up at him as he used his pet name for her. She always loved it when he called her that.  
  
'Well I better get back,' Dawn said looking at her watch. 'Are you coming over later to patrol. Or...?' Dawn didn't need to finish the sentence Spike knew what it meant, if the others went out patrolling she would be home alone with no one to check up on her and Spike.  
  
'Can't make it Niblet I'm meeting a demon tonight.' Spike replied looking away. He couldn't tell if she knew he was lying. Dawn hid her disappointment from her face and looked away. She still had an uneasy feeling and she wasn't sure if Spike was lying.  
  
'I'll see you then,' Dawn said giving one final look at Spike before turning down the street towards home. She crossed her arms across her chest protectively as she continued down the street refusing to turn and look at Spike. She could feel him watching her. As she crossed the road and turned onto the next street she finally let out a sigh and realised she'd began to cry a little. She didn't know why she was crying but she couldn't seem to stop the tears. She quickly wiped her eyes, sniffed back any more and began to walk home increasing her pace.  
  
Spike watched Dawn go. He could tell she was upset. He could sense how she was feeling. He sighed running his fingers through his hair. He didn't want to hurt Dawn; he hated to see her upset. He turned around taking a different route to his original path and headed straight to Willy's place for the second night running.  
  
***************  
  
Spike woke the next evening with exactly the same headache as the night before. He gently rose from his bed and collapsed onto the armchair in front of his TV. Turning to the fridge he opened it and just like the night before saw the bare fridge. He sighed to himself realising he'd never made it to the butcher's the evening before. He picked up his leather jacket and dug his hands deep into his pockets pulling out a couple of dollars. He stood up heavily carefully putting on his jacket. He opened the doors seeing darkness around him and smiled. He was sure he'd left some blood at Dawn's. His smile lessened but refused to avoid Dawn or Buffy for any longer. He looked up at the stars, he'd slept a lot later than he'd realised.  
  
As he reached Revello Drive he didn't see any lights on. He frowned and decided to go around the back.  
  
He turned the handle with force but relaxed when the door opened easily. There must be someone in if the door's unlocked, he thought to himself. He turned the light on in the kitchen and went straight to the fridge. Smiling triumphantly he picked up the blood closing the fridge behind him. He bit into the bag vamping out as he drank the blood. Not hearing any noises or sound in the house he focused on the blood.  
  
As soon as he finished he threw the bag into the bin. The blood had heightened his senses and could tell Buffy was alone in the house. He decided she was probably sleeping upstairs due to the lights all being switched off. He walked through the hall planning to leave by the front door. As he opened the door he stopped bewildered. He stepped back into the house and turned sticking his head out and looking into the lounge. He gently pushed the door shut as he stepped into the living room.  
  
'Buffy?' he said quietly, the worry in his voice clear. Buffy was sitting upright on the sofa rigidly staring ahead of her. Spike was more surprised than anything to see her sitting alone in the dark room. He came and sat opposite her on the coffee table as they had two nights before. Buffy didn't turn towards him but remained looking straight ahead. As he crossed her eye line she blinked taking in the fact he was there.  
  
They sat in silence for a moment looking at each other before Spike spoke.  
  
'Buffy,' he repeated.  
  
'I'm fine,' Buffy said predicting his question. Everyone had been asking her how she was feeling constantly for the last two days. She answered obediently so not to worry any of them. 'I was just thinking.'  
  
'Oh, I'll leave you to it,' Spike said embarrassed standing up.  
  
'Wait,' Buffy said quietly resting her hand on his arm. 'It's ok, you can stay.' She said pleading him with her eyes. He looked down at her hand on his arm and smiled softly sitting down again.  
  
They sat motionless staring into each other's eyes.  
  
'Buffy,' Spike began. 'This isn't you, what's wrong?' He could see the pain in her eyes, in how she sat and how she spoke. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat her eyes falling to the floor. 'Really?' Buffy looked up at him.  
  
Buffy sighed at him. She desperately wanted to tell someone what had happened to her, how much it hurt that she was back. How much she despised her friends.  
  
'I can't,' Buffy said apologetically. Spike heard her voice crack and the tears welling up in her eyes. He felt so helpless. He wished there was something he could do for her. As they sat quietly comforted by the darkness in the room Spike took her hands in his. Her hands felt so delicate in his. The bandages were still on Buffy's knuckles and he held her soft warm hands gently careful not to hurt her. As they both stared at her hands Buffy began gently stroking his with her finger. Spike looked at Buffy's face and saw her relaxed expression. He smiled at her gently lifting up her hands and kissing them. Spike saw how delicate her every movement was; even when she blinked was subtle. He was concerned about her and knew she was holding something back. He wished he knew how he could protect her, make her smile.  
  
As they stared at each other Spike could feel all the emotion he had experienced before Buffy's death returned, all those feelings he'd had before Buffy had died. All he could think was Buffy. She sat there beautiful, bathed in the moonlight. All those times he'd tried to block Buffy from his mind disappeared  
  
Hearing keys jangle in the lock, Spike dropped Buffy's hands instantly. As Dawn closed the door she looked up the stairs surprised the lights were off.  
  
'Buffy,' she shouted up the stairs before turning the light in the hall on. She looked into the lounge surprised to see Spike and Buffy sitting alone in dark. 'Why are the lights off?' Dawn asked confused.  
  
'They hurt my eyes,' Buffy said blinking from the subtle glow from the lamp in the hall. ' Do you want me to turn it off?' Dawn said hurriedly turning back before Buffy silently shook her head. Dawn nodded concerned for her sister before turning to Spike waiting for his answer.  
  
'Left some blood in the fridge,' Spike answered too quickly. Dawn looked at him suspiciously. Although Spike was telling the truth he felt guilty sitting here with Buffy as Dawn stood looking at them. He stood up trying to hide his guilt from Dawn.  
  
'Yeah I saw one in the freezer as well this morning.' Dawn said uncertainly to Spike. 'I was going to bring it round,' Dawn said shyly. Again Dawn sensed the uneasy feeling in her stomach. She hoped she was sick and it had nothing to do with Spike.  
  
Dawn stood there uneasy wringing her hands. She turned suddenly disappearing into the kitchen. Spike looked across at Buffy who was staring at where Dawn had been standing lost in her thoughts again. He followed Dawn into the kitchen finding her crouched by the fridge searching for something. She pulled out the blood handing it to Spike. He nodded thankfully as she turned back closing the door and taking something out of a drawer.  
  
She jumped up onto the counter taking the lid off a tub of ice cream and forcefully digging the spoon in. Engrossed in the ice cream it seemed to Spike she had forgotten he was there. Eventually she looked up at him smiling.  
  
'What?' She asked laughing. Spike shook his head smiling at her. She jumped down off the counter leaving the ice cream on the side. Suddenly Dawn's smile faded as she stepped towards Spike.  
  
'How is she?' Dawn asked her voice suddenly concerned. Spike knew she was referring to Buffy. 'I would of stayed tonight but I had an English project I had to finish and I didn't want people to get suspicious. Tara and Willow had class they couldn't miss and I don't know about Xander. I tried calling but remembered your phone was broken,' Dawn said looking down at her shoes. When Spike didn't reply she looked up at his face. He was staring at her and she felt herself smile briefly under his gaze.  
  
'I don't know how I can help,' she said honestly.  
  
'She'll let us know when she's ready,' Spike said thinking back to Buffy sitting in the dark lounge. He gently put his hand around her shoulders giving it a gentle squeeze. Dawn smiled resting her head on Spike's shoulder  
  
'Thanks Spike,' Dawn said gratefully. She sighed happily, all the worrying feelings about Spike forgotten. He turned his head to her resting it gently on her hair. He closed his eyes smiling gently to himself. He could smell Dawn's shampoo some kind of fruity mixture. Spike was worried about Dawn, how she was taking Buffy being back. They hadn't talked properly since Buffy had been back and Spike realised they hadn't kissed since he'd known she was back. Spike looked down at the top of Dawn's head guilty knowing it was because Buffy was back. He gently kissed the top of Dawn's head before pulling away. Dawn giggled and turned to look up at him. All her worries about Buffy and Spike forgotten she grinned to herself. She smiled up at Spike leant in on her tiptoes and kissing him quickly on the mouth. They kissed more intensely again as Spike draped his arms around her waist.  
  
'Mmmm,' Dawn said giddy from the kiss steadying her self against him. 'I love you,' Dawn said closing her eyes and resting her head on his shoulder.  
  
'Love you too Niblet,' Spike whispered in her ear sending a shiver down her spine. Dawn smiled to herself as Spike looked down at her in awe. She was just so beautiful and he had fallen for her.  
  
OK PEOPLE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT I FEEL I NEED TO; I'M THREATENING A BREAK FROM THE STORY IF I DON'T GET MORE REVIEWS I KNOW I'M GREEDY AND I'M STUBBORN BUT I WANT MORE REVIEWS K. I LOVE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED, HUGS AND KISSES TO THEM BUT IF THERE'S ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO, SHAME ON YOU, YOU LAZY PEOPLE! *  
  
*If threatening doesn't work I will resort to flattery again next chapter to get you to review*  
  
Specific thanks to spearsister who has been here since almost the beginning and stargirl727 who's opinion I always love to hear. Everyone else who has reviewed I love you all too my Internet friends! 


	19. another day

I SO LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED, I AM NOW ON SUCH A HIGH FROM IT, LOVE ALL YOU INTERNET PEOPLE I NU U CUD UPDATE AND U HAVE. JUST 2 SAYIT AGAIN I LOVE YOU ALL (she squeals) U GUYS ROCK!  
  
'I don't get it, what are we looking for again?' Xander asked confused. Xander, Willow, Tara and Buffy were sitting around the large wooden table in the magic box researching a demon while Anya busied herself with a customer.  
  
'A slimy green demon that tears out children's intestines and feeds it to their young.' Willow said sighing at Xander.  
  
'On behalf of all of us,' Xander said pointing to the group. 'Ewwww.' Tara smiled silently at Xander as she looked up from her book. Xander gently lowered his face on seeing Willow's scowl. 'So I guess this isn't time to ask someone to go and fetch donuts.' Xander said quietly as he carefully studied the book.  
  
'Oh found him,' Xander shouted out suddenly a few minutes later grinning from ear to ear. Willow looked over his shoulder and began reading. 'Xander that's not the demon, and why are you reading a book in Russian? You don't speak Russian.'  
  
'Yeah,' Xander said defensively. 'But the picture is like the one Anya described. Upon hearing her name Anya came over to the table from behind the counter and looked over Xander's other shoulder at the book.  
  
'That's not the demon,' Anya said passively before stepping away.  
  
'Sure it is,' Xander argued. 'It's got a squashed nose like you said and...um...it's got webbed feet.' Xander said realising it wasn't the demon.  
  
'No,' Anya said pointing at the picture. 'His nose was squished making it really skinny not pig nosed; you've got it all wrong.' Anya sighed and began tidying up the books.  
  
'Hey,' Xander said making Anya stop. 'Buffy hasn't finished looking at that book.' Upon hearing her name Buffy looked up from her book and around at the others in bewilderment.  
  
'Buff are you done with this book?' Willow said softly. Buffy looked across at the book Anya was holding.  
  
'I'm still good with this one,' she said softly her eyes returning to the book she was cradling in her arms.  
  
'What a little bookworm,' Xander joked grinning. Buffy heard the joke but didn't look up. She had been on the same page for the last twenty minutes but hadn't read a word. She sighed quietly to herself; turning the page would be too much effort.  
  
'What time's Dawn getting here?' Willow said to Buffy as she flicked through some old pieces of parchment before checking her watch. 'Buffy?' she repeated trying to catch her attention.  
  
Buffy looked up towards Willow dazed unaware of what Willow had said.  
  
'What time's Dawn getting here?' Willow asked again patiently.  
  
'I don't know,' Buffy said looking around. 'I thought she was going home straight after school?' Buffy asked Tara who had just returned to the table.  
  
'Oh,' Tara said upon hearing Buffy. 'I told Dawn to come here after school. She said she'd be here at about three thirty. She'll be here any minute' Tara added to Willow slightly worried face. Tara walked up to Willow gently rubbing her back to relax her. Willow smiled to her and nodded as Buffy made no attempt at communicate with her friends, instead choosing to appear to read the book again.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn hummed to herself happily as she walked down the main street past the espresso pump. She walked quickly towards the Magic Box smiling up at the sun. She was still thinking about seeing Spike earlier in the week after she had been to Janice's. Now Buffy was back she hadn't seen Spike as much but it just made the times she did see him extra special. She contemplated skipping going to the magic box and visiting Spike's crypt but she had told Tara she would come straight there and knew they would be expecting her.  
  
Dawn pushed the door open and smiled at the bell.  
  
'Hey guys,' she said to the others all sitting around the Magic Box. Looking around the shop she saw only a couple of customers.  
  
'Hey Dawnie,' Xander shouted back animated hoping she could distract him from research.  
  
'So what are we researching?' Dawn said casually picking up a book.  
  
'Whoa,' Buffy said tipping the book up so she could see the cover. 'Since when have you done research? How long has she been doing research?' Buffy said looking around disapprovingly at the group.  
  
'She doesn't,' Willow replied taking the book from Dawn and giving her a stern look. Dawn rolled her eyes and sighed before relaxing back in a chair.  
  
'Whatever it's not as if...'Dawn started. She didn't finish her sentence when she realised everyone's attention was distracted by something behind her. She turned in time to see Buffy jump up and run toward Giles who was standing in the middle of the shop.  
  
'Giles,' Willow said surprised, saying what they were all thinking. Buffy hugged Giles friendlily. Dawn stood up from her chair as surprised to see Giles as the others.  
  
'Buffy,' he said taken aback. 'I spoke to Willow and she said...but I didn't want to believe it until I saw you.' Buffy smiled back at Giles obviously happy to see him while trying to hide her sadness. After Giles and Buffy emotional greeting Dawn walked up to Giles also smiling.  
  
'Hey,' he said to the teenager giving her a quick hug. Dawn hugged him back pleased to see him.  
  
'So how's England, G-man?' Xander said slapping Giles on the back.  
  
'I'd forgotten how much it rains there actually,' Giles said smiling at all of them as he removed his glasses and began to clean them. Dawn smiled at the simple action relieved Giles was back.  
  
As they all sat down again around the table they all chatted animatedly about what Giles had missed and about England. Only Buffy remained more reserved. She contributed when asked questions and smiled at jokes but was at the same time detached from the conversation. Only Giles and Dawn seemed to notice and gave each other concerned glance to and from Buffy.  
  
Buffy sat on the sofa in the back room thinking. Just sitting relaxed resting was always so much simpler. Everything had just been too much for her in the Magic Box. They were sitting around animated and Buffy was just too tired to act happy. The smile she plastered on her face began to hurt as she excused herself to work out.  
  
Hearing Xander laugh loudly Buffy screwed up her eyes in pain. It was all just too much. She stood up slowly walking delicately to the back door and outside for some fresh air.  
  
As Buffy opened the door she again closed her eyes trying to block out the intense sunlight. She stepped out of the shadow and into the glaring sun before opening her eyes. The sun shone down on her skin warming it gently. Opening her eyes confronted by the sunlight she blinked before turning down the side street. She needed to be alone just to walk and think. When she was alone she didn't have to worry about how she appeared to others. She didn't have to pretend to her friends that she was ok. She crossed her arms protectively across her chest as she walked through the un-crowded streets.  
  
Buffy didn't notice as dusk descended on Sunnydale until she finally stopped walking in one of Sunnydale's many graveyards. Surprised at how dark it was she looked at her watch. Her eyes widened in surprise discovering she had been walking around for nearly 4 hours. She preferred the dark, as it didn't hurt her eyes as much.  
  
Looking around recognising where she was Buffy sat on one of the many tombs. Her eyes fell to the floor as she sat motionless as if made of stone.  
  
'Spike?' She said looking up surprised. 'What are you doing?' She looked around before her eyes returned to him.  
  
'I live here,' Spike said amused by Buffy's confusion pointing to his crypt behind her. She smiled quietly back at him.  
  
'So what are you doing out here?' He asked concerned sitting next to her on the crypt.  
  
'I was patrolling,' Buffy said making an attempt to look around for any vampires. Seeing Spike didn't believe she sighed looking down at her boots. 'Just taking a break from...' Buffy said. She wasn't sure what exactly she was avoiding but she knew being alone and quiet was better than in a crowded room. Spike nodded understandingly. 'I just wanted some time alone.' She added quietly.  
  
'Oh right luv,' Spike said jumping up. 'I'll go.'  
  
'No,' Buffy said gently. 'It's ok.' She smiled up at him as he sat next to her again. 'I can be alone here with you.' Buffy's gaze returned to the floor.  
  
Spike watched Buffy. Her expression fell, as she looked at the floor, the hurt and pain still evident in her face. He didn't know what had happened to her after she had died but it was obvious she was still hurting.  
  
'Buffy,' he said gently. 'Is everything ok?' Buffy didn't look up but remained looking at the floor. 'I don't know what happened to you but if there's anything I can do....'  
  
'You can't,' Buffy said not looking up.  
  
'I know you're still in pain Buffy.'  
  
'I am now,' Buffy cut him off. Spike looked at her confused. 'I was happy,' Buffy said sadly. 'Everything was so clear. I knew everyone was ok; Xander, Willow and Giles. Dawn was happy.' Spike sighed at her. She looked up confused.  
  
'Little Bit wasn't happy luv.' Buffy turned back looking at the floor.  
  
'I was happy,' she said again. 'On the tower I knew everything was going to be ok, I just knew it. And then after,' Buffy paused still unable to say she had died. 'Nothing had shape but I was still me. I was warm and I was safe and I was finished. I was done. I don't know anything about the after life or dimensions but I always believed in somewhere because of my mom, where she'd be happy' Buffy paused for a moment thinking of her mother. 'But I think I was in heaven.' She closed her eyes, just thinking about where she'd been hurt.  
  
Spike looked at her in shock. He wasn't sure how to react. He wanted to through his arms around Buffy, cry for her or go and kill all the Scooby's for doing this to her. He sat silent waiting for her.  
  
'But because of my friends, I'm here. Everything here is harder and brighter. I wasn't in hell.' She paused thinking for a moment. 'This is hell.' Buffy said honestly.  
  
She stood up awkwardly staring in the distance. She hadn't looked at Spike. She didn't want to see his reaction she didn't need to. She could predict what he was thinking. She stepped away still looking away before stopping.  
  
'They must never know, never.' Buffy said certainly emphasising on the last word. Buffy didn't turn to look back at Spike as she walked home. Spike wouldn't have known what to say even if he had followed. He remained sitting staring out after Buffy not knowing what to do.  
  
I TRIED UPDATING THIS CHAPTER LAST WEEK BUT IT EITHER DIDN'T WORK; IT SUCKED SO NO ONE REVIEWED OR MY COMPUTERS SCREWED UP.  
  
THANK YOU AGAIN TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE WHO HAVE REVIEWED, I AM BACK TO FLATTERY AS I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH AND YOU'VE MADE MY DAY /WEEKEND/WEEK/MONTH/YEAR GREAT. I AM NOW OFF TO DO A HAPPY DANCE AND THEN WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER. I'M SORRY I THREATENED A BREAK I FEEL BAD ABOUT IT BUT I WAS FEELING INSECURE ABOUT MY STORY. AGAIN THANKS AND KEEP REVIEWING X  
  
I know I've used some words from Spike and Buffy's conversation but I've tried to change it a little. 


	20. an unexpected ending

HERE IS ANOTHER CHAPTER AS A PEACE OFFERING FOR THREATENING A BREAK.  
  
Enn-Enn I have a dawn/spike scene for you and anyone else who wanted it.  
  
You are all going to hate me for this chapter but I'll leave why as a surprise, please don't hate me. It needs to happen I'm sorry again but please continue reading the story because although I don't want to spoil the story there will be more spawn, way more spawn in fact it's a spawn fic so don't worry.  
  
***************  
  
'Do you know what I wish?' Dawn said dreamily as she and Spike were sitting on his armchair. Dawn on his lap leaning back into him as they sat dreamily talking staring at nothing.  
  
'What's that Niblet?' He said brushing away her hair from her face and gently covering her in kisses across her neck. Dawn smiled at Spike and returned to her thought.  
  
'I was just thinking, how much easier I would be if they all knew about us.' Spike pulled his face away from Dawn and looked at her uneasily. Upon seeing his reaction Dawn tried to quickly reassure him, 'I know we can't.' She leant back into him and sighed. 'I just wish we could.' Spike watched Dawn's face fall and gently took her hand in his gently massaging it with his own.  
  
'I know,' Spike said trying to reassure Dawn and him self. He saw her smile gently.  
  
'Maybe one day,' Dawn added sadly not turning to look at him.  
  
'Maybe,' Spike answered. They both knew Spike was lying. Neither of them comforted by Spikes answer and huddled closer to each other trying to preserve the few precious moments they had together.  
  
As they sat there both felt miserable. Although Dawn wouldn't want to be anywhere else she was still upset. She was so tired of hiding, sneaking around, pretending to be normal around Spike when the others were there when all she wanted to do was through her arms around him.  
  
Suddenly Dawn began shifting in her seat. 'Sorry,' she said trying to get comfortable. Still moving she unexpectedly giggled. Spike looked at her confused. 'Ticklish,' she replied smiling back.  
  
'Really,' Spike said wickedly raising one eyebrow. Dawn's grin widened as she shrunk away from him.  
  
'No no no,' she screamed grinning as he leant towards her smiling he grabbed her around the waist tickling her gently. She squealed happily kissing him as a distraction. As she felt his grip loosen she pulled away quickly leaning back onto the floor landing on her elbow. She frowned quickly rubbing it before Spike leant down beside her. She rolled over crawling away from him before pulling herself up clumsily. She turned to see Spike coming towards her. She grinned happily running away. Spike stood up walking towards Dawn. He saw her standing behind the tomb and lunged to one side running towards her. She screamed again happily running around the tomb away from him. He continued chasing her around the stone tomb changing direction dodging from side to side. As she quickly began to run out of a breath she made a dash for the door. She was confronted with Spike throwing his arms around her waist from behind, lifting her up off her feet and spinning her around. She screamed loudly and smiled as he gently released her so they were facing each other.  
  
She stared lovingly into his eyes as she caught her breath. He brushed some hair behind her ears as he leaned towards her. As his eyes looked over her face her breathing slowed and everything around her melted away until it was just the two of them.  
  
'Dawn,' he said staring at her admiration. Her beauty completely took his breath away. He opened his mouth to speak again but was cut off by Dawn's lips on his. His kissed her back instinctively as she placed her hands on his chest. As the kiss grew more intense Spike held onto Dawn's arms not wanting to let go of her.  
  
As there lips finally parted only due to Dawn's need for oxygen they remained in each other's arms.  
  
'Spike,' Dawn said breathlessly still staring into the vampire's deep blue eyes. She looked down at his shirt moving her hands to the buttons on it and carefully began to undo them. Spike stared down at Dawn.  
  
'Dawn,' he said softly. She looked up at him studying his face. She smiled at how handsome he was. 'If you're...'  
  
'I'm sure,' Dawn said quickly cutting him off. She knew what he was going to say. He had said it all before the night Buffy had returned. And she knew how she truly felt. She loved him with all her heart. She had been nervous that night unsure but now she knew. She wasn't afraid, she wasn't nervous. It was the perfect moment and it felt right. Such a movie cliché she thought to herself but it was true.  
  
She kissed him again throwing all their passion all their love and everything they felt for each other into the kiss. They stepped across the room clumsily still kissing to caught up in each other to look where they were going. Dawn finished unbuttoning his shirt gently tugging it over his shoulders until it fell to the floor. Dawn gently brushed her hands over his abs and his strong upper arms. Spike smiled under her delicate touch.  
  
For a moment they stood still gazing at each other as if reading each other's mind. And then suddenly they were kissing again, Dawn hands moving over his upper torso, across his toned muscles, her fingers running through his hair. As their lips parted again Spike's arms rested wrapped around Dawn's slender waist. She gently tugged at the bottom of her top quickly pulling the tight red vest over her head. Spike smiled at her tousled hair feeling how soft it was under his touch. Their lips met again instinctively wrapping their arms around each other never wanting to let go. Any fear either of them had forgotten and nothing else mattered except the other.  
  
Once again their lips parted both desperate for breath. Their foreheads rested against each other and Dawn smiled across at Spike. He grinned back before pulling his face away leaning back.  
  
'Buffy,' Spike said still trying to catch his breath. Dawn froze in Spike's arms before she quickly backed away from him. Her eyes began to well up in tears as she looked at Spike so full of sadness. She couldn't believe what Spike had just said. She looked across him her eyes wide; upset she quickly took another step back before her hands hit wall. It felt cold and Dawn felt the grime against her fingers. She was only standing there for a moment but her thoughts put everything into slow motion.  
  
'Dawn?' he questioned stepping towards her gently his arms outstretched. She cowered away from him leaning against the wall wrapping her arms around her body trying to cover herself up.  
  
'Dawn, did you here me?' Spike asked her confused. Dawn stared at him eyes wide in disbelief. Of course she'd heard him. While making out Spike had just said her sister's name, the woman he used to be in love with. Dawn could have laughed at her use of the past tense if she wasn't so upset. She looked away to the side, so she didn't have to look at him.  
  
'Dawn, Buffy is coming,' Dawn's head snapped back to Spike's confused.  
  
'Huh?' She questioned.  
  
'Dawn,' he said patiently. 'I can sense your sister, she's outside, and she's coming.' Dawn eyes widened in panic this time. She stared back at Spike her eyes beginning to cloud over as her vision began to fade.  
  
'Spike,' she whispered breathlessly. She looked around panicking before her legs gave way and she fell to the floor. Spike rushed to her immediately scooping her up into his arms. Dawn smiled at him as he quickly lowered her to the lower part of the crypt gently placing her onto the bed.  
  
'How do you know she's coming?' Dawn asked embarrassed she was lying on Spike's bed in just a bra while he was standing next to her topless. Suddenly both heads snapped back to the sound of the door to Spike's crypt crash open. Spike stared at Dawn longingly before going up to the main level of the crypt.  
  
Dawn sat on the bed for a moment straining to hear their conversation. Hearing them easier she looked around tapping her leg on the bed wondering what to do and how long Buffy would be. She shivered as a draft blew through the crypt. She looked down realising her top was upstairs and bit her lip nervously in case Buffy saw it. She quietly pulled her self off the bed and to the entrance to the upper level. Looking up she couldn't see either of them and sighed crossing her arms trying to preserve heat. Dawn turned away from the entrance looking around for one of Spike's shirts to put on temporarily.  
  
Suddenly something red flew at her head and she managed to stop herself from screaming. Pulling it off her head she smiled seeing her top in her hands before returning to her seat on the edge of the bed.  
  
***************  
  
As Spike reached the top level of his home he sighed seeing Buffy standing in the doorway. He picked his shirt up off the floor and put it on as his gaze fell to the door behind her with a huge crack in it.  
  
'Bloody hell slayer do you have to break my door every time.' Buffy turned around surprised at the door before turning back not caring. Spike stared at her a moment waiting for a reaction. When she didn't move he carefully stepped towards her and asked her in a whisper.  
  
'Buffy are you ok?' Buffy nodded slowly remaining silent. Spike walked around his crypt trying to search for Dawn's vest without Buffy seeing. Seeing it he turned towards Buffy.  
  
'So what are you doing here?' Spike said surprised Buffy was just standing there for no apparent reason. Buffy fidgeted with her hand before answering.  
  
'I wondered if you wanted to patrol.' Buffy said looking up. Spike looked across at the entrance to the lower level of the crypt and towards Dawn. He thought of her for a moment uncomfortable with leaving her.  
  
'Ok, he said guiltily. 'What was that?' He said looking behind the door. As Buffy turned to scour the darkness outside for the nonexistent noise Spike threw Dawn's top down towards her. As Buffy turned back confused Spike thought up an excuse.  
  
'Must have been a cat,' Spike added guiltily. 'I'm going to get my coat.' Spike said turning towards Dawn. Buffy nodded silently turning out into the darkness crossing her arms.  
  
As Spike saw Dawn he couldn't help but smile. She grinned back wrapping his arms around her neck kissing him. He kissed her back but pulled away guiltily.  
  
'What?' Dawn said her grin falling a little. 'Hasn't Buffy gone?' Spike shook his head sadly. Dawn's smile fell completely.  
  
'She wants to patrol,' Spike said looking away awkwardly. Dawn sighed.  
  
'...And she'd get suspicious if you didn't, I get it.' Dawn said understanding.  
  
'Are you sure you don't mind?' Spike said wanting to stay with Dawn.  
  
'Of course I mind,' Dawn added grinning before kissing him quickly. 'But you should get going, she'll be waiting.' They kissed again longingly wishing they could stay with each other. 'I'll leave soon ok.' Spike looked at her concerned.  
  
'Look I'll stop by Clem's get him to come by to walk you home. I know he's not as handsome as me but you'll be safe.' Dawn smiled at his concerned nodding  
  
'Now go,' Dawn said kissing him happily. Spike stared after her sadly as he left.  
  
***************  
  
'Where are we going?' Buffy said her eyes wondering around the deserted streets as they neared the their destination. 'What are we doing at Willy's Place?'  
  
'Just got to ask a mate a favour,' Spike said pushing open the door holding it for Buffy. Ignoring the gesture she walked in looking around. Spike stared after her. She turned back to him and waited as he stood still.  
  
'Go find this friend,' she said making it obvious she'd rather be anywhere than here. He sighed and headed over to the bar taking a seat by Clem to ask him to check on Dawn.  
  
Buffy watched as Spike and the demon talked. She sighed looking at her watch. She turned around to survey the bar and saw the demon at the next table watching her. She walked up to him unconcerned.  
  
'What?' she said aggressively. Spike had annoyed her and she needed a good fight.  
  
'You the slayer?' He asked. Buffy smiled enjoying the fact the demon was scared. Her grin widened as the six-foot burly demon literally ran away with his tail between his legs. A tail that had 6 inch nails in it. She smiled watching it leave before turning back to his table seeing a bottle of tequila. Picking up the bottle she took a quick swig before screwing up her face as the alcohol burned her throat. Putting the bottle back on the table she realised the alcohol had already began to take affect. She picked up it again swaying slightly. She had never been able to drink much, she thought to herself as she took another swig.  
  
***************  
  
'Spike, I'm fine,' Buffy said gently pushing Spike on the shoulder before she stumbled leaning back and falling into her seat. She giggled as she looked up at Spike's face. Trying to regain her composure she sat up brushing some hair away from her face. 'Relax Spike, god have you always been this boring. Have a drink.' She said outstretching her hand holding the bottle. Spike took the bottle from her looking down at it disapprovingly. 'From the bar,' she added snatching the bottle back and taking another gulp. Spike sighed turning back to bar for his own drink. If the slayer was going to get plastered he wasn't going to be her babysitter.  
  
Spike realised quickly Buffy couldn't take her drink. He'd had almost as much as her and was relatively sober while Buffy was barely coherent.  
  
'That's it slayer,' he said standing up taking her arm. 'We're off.' Spike watched Buffy surprised as she followed him outside.  
  
'So where we going now Spike?' Buffy said stumbling still holding the bottle of tequila.  
  
'Home,' Spike said sternly.  
  
'Ok,' Buffy agreed striding off. 'Back to yours it is.' Spike chased up to Buffy stopping her.  
  
'No you're going back to your house.' Buffy looked down at his hand on her arm in disgust. He backed off slowly watching Buffy's face.  
  
'Spike, I'm sorry you've got so boring since...whenever.' Buffy said stumbling to control her balance. 'But I'm not done.'  
  
'Yes you are,' Spike said seriously lifting Buffy up around her waist and began carrying her towards her house. Although Buffy was still naturally strong the alcohol had decreased her co-ordination as she fumbled trying to kick Spike.  
  
'Spike get off me,' she screamed pissed off. 'Help,' she shouted to the deserted street. 'He's attacking me.' Spike rolled his eyes sighing at her. He finally let her go allowing her to topple slightly before trying to salvage a shred of dignity.  
  
'Buffy,' he began obviously enjoying Buffy's drunken reaction. 'We live in Sunnydale, most things here will give me a hand if they saw me attacking the slayer.'  
  
'Spike,' she said slowly because of her nerves and being drunk. 'I'm not ready to go home yet.' They'll see I'm drunk and I can't cope with the fuss. But if you're just going to be the same,' she said turning around. Spike rolled his eyes.  
  
'Fine,' Her eyes lit up as she smiled at him. 'Oh and Buffy...' he added making her turn towards him in surprise. 'The crypt's this was,' he added pointing in the opposite direction.  
  
***************  
  
'And then the ponce said...' Spike said taking another swig of their second bottle of tequila. He paused for momentarily thinking. He frowned realising he had no idea what the man had said. Turning to Buffy he saw her slumped next to the chair. 'Buffy?' he added to attract her attention. She looked up surprised as if falling into a daze. He laughed at her as he stood up. He stepped back looking down at her smiling.  
  
'Stop it,' she said gently pushing his leg. She rolled her eyes at Spike extending her arm so he could help her up. He grinned as he took her wrist pulling her slim build up with his strength.  
  
'God Slayer, you could at least try to stand up.' He said dragging her. She giggled finally helping him pull her up. Spike startled by the sudden lightness pulled Buffy up too quickly. He fell back against the wall with Buffy on top of him. She burst out laughing smiling across at Spike who was gently massaging his head from hitting it. He smirked at Buffy's smile as the stood barely inches from each other. Neither of them moved for a moment both looking at each other. Then ever so slower their lips met in a kiss.  
  
AGAIN I'M SORRY FOR THE SPUFFY FORGIVE ME BY REVIEWING AND THERE WILL BE NO MORE (BUT PLENTY MORE DS)  
  
DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE EVERYONE WHO HAS REVIEWED RECENTLY; YOU MAKE MY DAY SO MUCH BRIGHTER. I DO LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR ALL THE SUPPORT AND I WOULD THANK EVERYONE INDIVIDUALLY BUT I HATE IT WHEN WRITERS LEAVE A LONG LIST (I THINK TO SHOW OFF) SO FOR THE RECORD YOU ALL ROCK! 


	21. a different man

YOU MAY HATE SPIKE/BUFFY (AND/OR ME) FOR THE KISS BUT I THINK IT'S NECESSARY, IF YOU DISAGREE.... TOUGH IT'S MY STORY BUT I WANT TO MAKE IT CLEAR THERE WILL BE NO MORE SPUFFY. I LOVE YOU GUYS, YOU ARE ALL SO COOL  
  
Their lips met for only a moment until they both opened their eyes realising what they were doing. They instantly pulled away looking at each other in shock.  
  
'Buffy,' Spike spluttered looking at her confused. Buffy who had jumped away from Spike standing against the wall looked equally shocked and surprised by their actions. Spike let out a deep breath looking away and then straight at Buffy.  
  
'Buffy I'm sorry, I'm not sure how we ended up....' Spike waved his hand in front of him not knowing how to finish.  
  
'I can't believe you did that.' Buffy said her anger rising. Buffy was confused and was taking her uncertainty out on Spike.  
  
'You kissed me,' she stated wiping her mouth shaking her head. Spike tried to answer her back but the slayer cut him off.  
  
'Stay away from me Spike,' Buffy said outstretching her hand to keep Spike at a distance. 'I thought you'd got over this little crush.' She added with disgust in her voice.  
  
'I was in love with you,' Spike argued back angrily looking up at Buffy as her fist slammed into his face. He reeled back grabbing his jaw.  
  
'Bloody hell,' he shouted at her. He was no longer angry with himself he was angry with her. He took a step towards the slayer menacingly as she remained motionless a little apprehensive backed up against the wall. He placed his hand to the side of her face against the wall leaning towards her inches from her face. He sensed her fear, how uncomfortable she felt as he stood there as he spoke to her in barely a whisper.  
  
'Buffy I was in love with you.' He paused stepping away from her creating a distance between the two of them. He stared at her in silence waiting. 'I'm over it.' He added turning and striding out of the crypt into the night.  
  
***************  
  
Buffy didn't move for a moment. She was still in shock over the kiss. Suddenly she felt very dizzy. She clutched her head in panic running out of the crypt. As the cool air hit her she paused leaning against a tree. As she gulped in the air, nausea engulfed her as she threw up onto the grass. She frowned wiping her mouth, as she smelt the stench of alcohol on her breath. She pulled her hair away from her face as she walked home slowly to a warm bed and her toothbrush.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn awoke to sunshine streaming in through her bedroom window. She smiled for no reason quickly jumping out of bed. Throwing on some music she turned to her wardrobe to decipher through her clothes looking for something to reflect her good mood.  
  
As Dawn walked back to her bedroom, toothbrush in hand she paused outside Buffy's room.  
  
Buffy sat up the sunlight covered her face. She instantly fell back onto the pillow holding her head in pain. She groaned loudly pulling the duvet up to her head.  
  
Dawn quietly knocked on the door hearing Buffy's moans. She gently pushed the door open not hearing a reply.  
  
'Buffy,' she whispered quietly in case Buffy was still asleep. Dawn pushed the door open so she could see inside the room. Buffy heard the door creak open and turned over in bed poking her head out from under the covers to see Dawn.  
  
'Buffy are you ok?' Dawn said stepping into the room towards her sister. Buffy groaned again as Dawn opened the curtains completely.  
  
'Dawn it's too bright.' Buffy said shielding her eyes.  
  
'I'm sorry,' Dawn began closing the curtains tightly. 'You're not a vampire right?' Dawn joked.  
  
'If I am I don't remember,' Buffy said huddling up to her pillow. Dawn smiled gently pulling the covers away to check her sister's neck.  
  
'Nope no bite marks,' she said grinning. 'So how did you end up like this?' Buffy sat up slowly trying to flatten her hair down as she saw her reflection in the mirror.  
  
Trying to avoid having to tell Dawn, she changed the subject.  
  
'Dawn could fetch me something for my headache.' Buffy asked.  
  
'Sure,' Dawn said bounding down the stairs. Buffy smiled at her sister before falling back into bed.  
  
As Dawn returned she placed the water and the tablet on the side table before jumping on the end of the bed. Buffy grunted as the bed shook picking up the pillow next to her and throwing it at her sister. Dawn grinned catching the pillow and putting it down next to her.  
  
'I know you're the one with slayer strength but I'm not the one with a hangover, I would so kick your butt in a pillow fight.' Dawn said smirking as Buffy glared at her sister. Dawn continued to grin at her sister unfazed. 'So how did you end up drunk? You made it home, so either you weren't that drunk or got a handsome stranger to bring you home.' Dawn smile fell from her face as she stood up. Buffy gave her a confused look as she walked over to the closet opening the door. She turned back grinning. 'No guy in the closet.' Dawn joked before turning to the window. 'Did he jump out the window like Angel used to.' Dawn grinned at her sister teasing her. Buffy didn't reply instead throwing another pillow at her sister.  
  
'Owww,' Dawn whined before throwing the pillow back. 'I'm sick of you being  
  
grumpy.'  
  
'So how did you get drunk?' Dawn asked persistently.  
  
'Well,' Buffy began guiltily. 'I went patrolling with Spike, and we stopped to see a demon friend of Spike's.' Dawn nodded, she already knew this because of Clem but she wasn't going to tell Buffy. 'In a bar,' Buffy said finishing her sentence. Dawn looked across disapprovingly at Buffy. 'And I don't remember much,' Buffy added looking away from her sister's gaze. 'There was tequila and Spike carried me home.' Buffy's expression changed to confusion. She remembered Spike picking her up but she wasn't going in the direction towards her house.  
  
Dawn looked at her sister waiting for her continue. 'It's all kind of blurry,' Buffy answered honestly. Suddenly Buffy's face fell remembering going back to Spike's and the kiss. Buffy froze in horror wandering how it had happened. 'I don't remember much,' Buffy said shifting guilty in her bed. Dawn smiled at her mistaking the embarrassment of the kiss for guilt of getting very drunk.  
  
'Well you stay in bed,' Dawn said standing up. 'But I've got to get to school...unless you want me to stay and look after you.' Dawn suggested eagerly.  
  
'Go,' Buffy said sternly pointing to the door. Dawn giggled before turning out the door.  
  
'Feel better sis.' Buffy heard Dawn shout from the stairs before hearing the front door slam. Buffy let out a deep sigh embracing the silence. She turned to the drink drowning it in one go before collapsing back onto the bed, groaning and covering her face with a pillow.  
  
***************  
  
Buffy surfaced in the late morning to find the house empty with Willow and Tara at classes. Buffy had planned on going to the Magic Box this afternoon but she knew Giles wouldn't be expecting her until she'd picked up Dawn from school. Buffy stood in the kitchen tapping her fingers against the counter. The house was tidy and there was no washing up so Buffy had nothing to do. She sighed quietly to herself.  
  
She looked across at the counter, picking up a demon book Giles must have left lying around but put it down quickly. Who was she kidding she wouldn't read a demon book for fun. She sighed realising she would have to go and see Spike about the night before. She didn't remember very much about that night but she knew she was going to kill Spike.  
  
***************  
  
Buffy threw open the door to find Spike lying asleep slumped on the mausoleum.  
  
'Bloody hell slayer,' he shouted moving out of the sunlight that steamed through his door. 'Are you trying to kill me?' Buffy winced at Spike's shouting as the throbbing in her head started again. He turned swinging his legs off the mausoleum in the middle of the crypt. He paused lowering his head from the sudden movement into his hands and he felt the affects of the night before pulse through his head.  
  
As Buffy hesitantly entered the room waiting for Spike she gently sat on the armchair. Spike looked up hearing Buffy's movement as if forgetting she was there. He stood up walking towards her before turning to his fridge and pulling out a cup of blood.  
  
'Look Spike,' Buffy began as Spike looked past her as if oblivious to her presence. He vamped out as he gulped down the blood as Buffy stared at him disgusted by his drinking habits.  
  
'What?' Spike questioned lowering his cup before becoming distracted by some blood he had spilt on his hand. Buffy rolled her eyes at him as Spike looked on at her amused. 'So what are you doing here?' Spike asked as the question suddenly hit him. 'A bit early to start drinking,' Spike said amused looking towards the door.  
  
'Spike, we need to talk,' Buffy began looking across at him nervously.  
  
'What's the matter luv?' Spike said coming to sit next to her on the arm of the chair. Buffy shifted away from him unsure if he remembered the night before. She stood up nervously creating a distance between the two of them.  
  
'Spike,' she said again trying to gain enough courage to tell him. 'How much do you remember about last night?' Spike laughed at Buffy's confusion realising how little of last night she remembered.  
  
'Obviously more than you,' Spike laughed still looking intently at Buffy's awkwardness as she fidgeted nervously.  
  
'So you remember what happened,' Buffy said not wanting to mention the kiss. Spike watched her confusion dawning on him. Buffy was looking more nervous than Spike expected from someone who had just got a bit drunk. Did something else happen which he didn't remember. He thought back to the night before.  
  
'We went to Willy's place to ask Clem to look after... and then,' Spike paused. His headache wasn't helping his memory. I carried her home. No wait we came back here first. 'We came back here,' Spike frowned realising there was a gap in his knowledge. How did Buffy get home? 'How much do you remember?' Spike said changing the subject.  
  
'Just bits and pieces,' Buffy answered honestly. 'There are some gaps and I'm not sure how we?' Buffy stopped not knowing how continue. It was clear Spike didn't remember the kiss but Buffy needed to make sure when or if he did he wouldn't tell any of her friends. Spike looked at her waiting for her to finish. 'Look Spike I need a guarantee that you won't tell the others about...' Buffy paused again willing herself to say it.  
  
'...You getting drunk.' Spike said finishing the sentence. Buffy looked relieved before realising what Spike had said.  
  
'No,' she replied correcting him. 'Dawn already knows about hangovers. I mean I don't want you to tell them about the kiss.' Buffy took a deep breath waiting for Spike's reaction. Spike's eyes narrowed in confusion before smiling realising it was a joke.  
  
'Good one slayer,' Spike said. The smile fell from his face when he saw Buffy's serious face. 'What are you talking about?'  
  
'Look Spike, if I'm honest I don't remember much about yesterday.'  
  
'That makes two of us,' Spike replied mystified by Buffy's reaction. 'Look Buffy I don't know what you're talking about but I'm nursing a hangover and I'm not in the mood.'  
  
Buffy sighed angrily at Spike. 'Spike all I remember is that we kissed. 'I don't know how but it happened and I just came by to make sure you didn't decide to tell my friends.' Spike stood up angrily. He wouldn't of kissed Buffy he couldn't do that to Dawn.  
  
'Your lying,' Spike said angrily standing up.  
  
'Why would I want to make that up?' Buffy questioned irritably. She still had a headache and she would rather be anywhere than this crypt.  
  
'Your lying,' Spike repeated angrily stepping towards Buffy. 'I could never do that to...' Spike trailed off realising he'd almost let Dawn's name slip.  
  
Buffy's eyes narrowed in confusion surprised by what he had just said. Spike turned away realising Buffy had noticed his slip up. 'Spike?' She questioned her voice bordering on amusement.  
  
'Your wrong,' Spike said grabbing Buffy's arms. Buffy's eyes narrowed focusing on Spike's face.  
  
'Get off me Spike,' Buffy said sternly. When he didn't move instead continuing to stare at her in contempt she lifted her arm up still in his grasp hitting him around the face. He immediately let go of her arms turning to the side instantly feeling the bump across his eye. He turned back to the slayer punching her across the cheek before contemplating the chip. His natural reflex was to grab his head and as it moved up he noticed the absence of pain. He shouted anyway acknowledging Buffy. She turned back to him punching him again. His surprise over the chip malfunctioning lessened the blow of the slayer's second hit.  
  
'Listen Spike,' Buffy said through gritted teeth. 'I don't know why you kissed me last night; I thought I'd made it clear to you last year. There is no us, there will never be an us. To me you are a neutered vampire who I couldn't care any less about. You're nothing Spike,' Buffy said looking down her nose at him in disgust. 'Not to me, not to my friends, not to anyone.'  
  
'Your wrong slayer,' Spike said grinning. The thought of his chip no longer working had given him energy. Spike smiled at the angry slayer. She may hate him, he didn't give a stuff about what she thought, and he knew what Dawn felt. Buffy turned to the door walking past Spike ignoring his presence in the room. As she neared the door Spike added.  
  
'Slayer,' Buffy's head spun around to face him. 'The guy you knew last year's dead, I couldn't give a damn what you think of me. I've changed; I've got someone worth a hundred of you.' He paused waiting for a reaction. When she didn't move he smiled before continuing. 'You're right I was in love with you.' Spike stepped slowly and carefully until he was inches from her face but she didn't flinch. 'But luv, I'm over you,' he whispered in her ear as he gently stroked her blonde hair. Buffy snapped her head back, her skin crawling under Spike's touch. She turned to the door as she stormed out of the crypt into the sunshine away from him.  
  
Knowing he no longer felt anything for Buffy he smiled after her feeling like a different man.  
  
WOOOHOOOO HE LOVES DAWN, SO IT'S ALL GOING TO END HAPPILY EVER AFTER NOW RIGHT? PLEASE, GIVE ME SOME CREDIT THE STORY IS NOWHERE NEAR DONE. THERE IS PLENTY OF ANGST, CRYING, VIOLENCE AND KISSING TO COME AND I HAVEN'T EVEN WRITTEN ALL THE CHAPTERS YET.  
  
Got to say I was surprised by how many people were ok with the kiss and understood it's point. You guys totally get me. Again love you guys to bits. I'm very happy, school broke up on Wednesday and I've just watched the best Eastenders episode ever so I'm off to write another chapter, as I'm inspired. Anyone else who watches it how god damn hot is Dennis and what a great actor? And if anyone wants to debate with me ways to kill Den email me! 


	22. ignorance is bliss

OK I KNOW SOME PEOPLE WANTED TO SEE BUFFY GET HER ASS KICKED BUT I THINK THIS IS WAY WORSE.... SO READ AND ENJOY.  
  
'I've got to go,' Dawn said smiling up at Spike. He wrapped his arms around her waist, looking down at her sticking out his bottom lip in protest. She sighed at him wrapping her arms around his neck before kissing him. She smiled trying to turn away, but Spike refused to remove his hold around her waist. She turned back to him. 'I've really got to go,' Dawn moaned. Spike nodded ignoring her as he kissed her again lightly.  
  
'Spike,' she whined not moving her arms from around his neck. Spike sighed looking at her opening his eyes wider at her. 'Stop it,' she said staring at him. She kissed him again smiling.  
  
'Ok you've got to go,' Spike said letting her go as Dawn's smile fell. Spike sighed at her expression keeping hold of her hand. 'Niblet make up your mind,' Spike added. Dawn smiled stepping closer to Spike again.  
  
'I know what I want to do,' she said sadly. 'But I better go.' She turned away still holding Spike hand. Suddenly she turned back again grinning. 'What if I came back?' Dawn said her eyes lighting up. Spike stared back at her before quickly pecking her on the lips.  
  
'Can't wait luv.' Dawn grinned back at him letting go of his hand. As she opened the door she turned back to make sure the glare from the late afternoon sun missed Spike.  
  
'I love you,' she added quickly as if it had just occurred to her, before turning and running out of the crypt. Spike smiled opening his mouth to reply but she was already gone. Spike sighed sitting down in his chair. He would give anything to run after Dawn into the sunlight but all he could do was sit and watch reruns of Passions.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn reached the Magic Box she was still in a good mood. She opened the door grinning as she saw everyone sitting around the table. She smiled across at them all as they stared back all looking downcast. Dawn looked at them in confusion. She could see Willow and Tara had been crying. Anya was sat huddled in a chair avoiding eye contact with anyone. Giles was sitting next to his desk to the side slowly and methodically cleaning his glasses. Buffy was the only one standing separated from the group with her arms crossed in front of her. Buffy looked the most composed. As Dawn walked closer to the group she saw Xander's eyes full of tears. She looked around at the group waiting for someone to explain what was going on. After a long silence Dawn spoke.  
  
'What's going on?' she asked the group in a concerned tone. The others all looked up at her before their gaze moved to Buffy or down to the floor.  
  
'Dawn, I need to talk to you,' Buffy said looking at her sister seriously.  
  
'What's happened?' Dawn said looking at her sister.  
  
'Lets go through to the back room,' Buffy said distantly not waiting for an answer before walking away. Dawn looked after her sister before following her pausing at the door looking at the group trying to think of something to say. She sighed realising she couldn't say anything until she knew what was going on.  
  
Dawn saw Buffy perched on the end of the sofa as she entered. She motioned to Dawn to sit next to her and Dawn followed obediently waiting for an explanation.  
  
'Buffy what's going on?' Dawn asked desperately.  
  
'Dawn there's something I have to tell you about...' Buffy paused taking a deep breath. '.... About where I was.' Dawn looked up at her sister. Dawn hadn't known what to expect but she knew this wasn't it. Dawn waited patiently for her sister to continue. 'Dawnie,' Buffy said her eyes beginning to well up. Buffy knew that if she began to cry she would never be able to tell Dawn. She gently stroked her sister's long hair affectionately smiling at her little sister. 'You know I love you Dawn,'  
  
'Yeah,' Dawn replied nervously still completely bewildered to what Buffy was talking about. 'Buffy what's wrong?'  
  
Buffy looked across at her sister. She loved her sister more than anyone, which was why it was so much more difficult to tell Dawn about where she had been. With her friends it was easier. In some ways she still despised her friends for bringing her back, wanted them to understand some of the pains she had to endure, every second of every day. Buffy knew Dawn had been so grateful she had been back and she didn't want to hurt Dawn but she knew she had to tell her.  
  
Buffy had accidentally let something slip to Willow the evening before and had had to tell her friends where she had been. She had tried to keep things from Dawn before and it had ended up with a fire, Dawn running away and cutting herself when she had discovered she was the key. If the others knew she couldn't keep it a secret from Dawn.  
  
'Dawnie I'm sorry I haven't told you this sooner but I couldn't.' Buffy said falling silent looking away from the concerned Dawn.  
  
'Buffy what ever it is you can tell me,' Dawn said taking her sister's hand. Buffy smiled down at her sister.  
  
'Dawnie...' Buffy took a deep breath to pluck up the courage. 'I wasn't in a demon dimension, I wasn't in hell.' Dawn's head jerked up in surprise. When she spoke, her voice was quiet and full of fear.  
  
'Buffy what happened to you?' Dawn stared at her sister sadly.  
  
'You know I don't know anything about dimension or stuff like that,' Buffy said smiling trying to make it a joke. Dawn could see the sadness in Buffy's eyes as she said it.  
  
'But you've some idea haven't you?' Dawn guessed.  
  
'Dawnie I think I was in heaven.' Dawn gasped moving her hand up to cover her mouth. Buffy looked up at her sister apologetically. 'Dawn I'm so sorry.'  
  
Dawn sniffed as the tears rolled down her cheeks. 'You've nothing to be sorry about,' Dawn said certainly her voice cracking. They sat in silence both of them staring down at the floor.  
  
Dawn looked up slowly turning nervously to Buffy.  
  
'Buffy,' she whispered quietly. Buffy looked towards Dawn slowly. 'Did you...' Dawn paused afraid to ask her sister. 'Was mom there?'  
  
Buffy shook her head sadly. Dawn closed her eyes sadly to try and stop her tears.  
  
'I asked Giles once,' Buffy began distantly staring across the room. 'He said there were hundreds of dimensions. There's no way of knowing where she'd be.' Dawn turned to Buffy.  
  
'But she's happy right?' Dawn asked afraid.  
  
'I'm sure she is.' Buffy said certainly to Dawn taking her hand. Dawn smiled sadly at her sister before embracing her in a hug.  
  
'I'm sorry,' Dawn said as she pulled away.  
  
'It's not your fault,' Buffy said stroking Dawn's hair. Dawn's eyes glazed over, as she looked down at the floor. Suddenly she stood up ignoring Buffy's hand on her arm.  
  
She brushed some behind her ear looking towards the front of the Magic Box before turning around to face Buffy. 'It's their fault,' Dawn said pointing to the door.  
  
'No sweetie, they didn't know.' Buffy said standing up putting her hands on Dawn's shoulders.  
  
'Buffy,' Dawn whispered her tears increasing.  
  
'Dawnie it's all going to be ok,' Buffy said wrapping her arms around her sister in a hug. Dawn hugged her sister back tightly. They both slowly sank to the floor as Dawn's energy gave up.  
  
'Buffy it can't be okay,' Buffy heard Dawn's muffled voice. 'Because they, they did this to you. And your not happy.' Dawn said forgetting to try and stop the tears. 'What if you're never happy Buffy? And they've done this to you.'  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy said staring into her eyes gently stroking a piece of hair by her face. 'If I can forgive them,' Buffy lied trying to comfort Dawn. Dawn closed her eyes sighing until Buffy moved her hand away.  
  
'I'm sorry Buffy I can't,' Dawn said sadly standing up.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy pleaded with her.  
  
'I've got to be...' Dawn trailed off walking towards the door. 'I just can't be with them right now, I'm sorry.' Dawn said giving Buffy a final look before pushing the door open.  
  
Buffy sank to her knees again watching her sister go.  
  
She slowly stepped through into the front of the Magic Box.  
  
'Dawn,' Willow said standing up. Dawn gently lifted her hand to stop her as she looked around at the group.  
  
'Don't,' Dawn said quietly her gaze returning to the floor as Willow took another step towards her.  
  
'Dawnie,' Willow replied desperately before Dawn walked quickly out of the shop door. Willow took a couple of step towards her before Giles added sternly.  
  
'Let her go.' Willow turned to him surprised. He ignored her gaze instead following Dawn out of the door. Willow sat back in her seat before moments later jumping at the sound of Xander slamming his fist into the table.  
  
'Dawn,' Dawn looked up from her seat on the bench outside the Magic Box.  
  
'Giles,' she replied desperately on the verge of tears. He sighed rushing over to her embracing her urgently. 'Giles, how am I supposed to help her?' Dawn sobbed looking up at Giles waiting for him to impart some sort of wisdom. Instead he sighed back taking his glasses off and cleaning them. Dawn smiled at the simple action before her expression returned to grave.  
  
'Giles,' she said again wiping her eyes. 'She will ok right?' Dawn asked afraid of the answer. When Giles didn't answer, Dawn nodded knowingly. Her head lowered as she stood to her feet. 'Take care of her Giles,' Dawn said not looking at him.  
  
'Where are you going?' Giles asked replacing his glasses.  
  
'Just for a walk,' she said quietly. 'I'll be back,' she added cheerily before walking away down the street.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn didn't walk for long as feet led her instinctively towards Spike. She couldn't remember which route she took; all she knew was how quickly it seemed to take her to get there. The sun was setting as she neared the crypt although it was still warm. She didn't feel any of this though as she walked her arms crossed, her head lowered crying to herself.  
  
As she reached Spike's crypt she didn't pause, opening the door.  
  
'Dawn?' Spike asked confused jumping up from his seat. She looked up stunned, surprised Spike was there. On seeing Dawn's tearstained face, Spike's face fell before he rushed over to her. He wrapped his arms around her pulling her towards him. She rested her head on his shoulder still sobbing quietly to her self.  
  
'Spike,' she whispered back. 'Everything is so screwed up, I just needed to be here.'  
  
'Sure Niblet,' Spike replied stroking her hair. She looked up smiling. She hugged him again tightly as she spoke in an explanation.  
  
'It's Buffy... she told me, she said that she isn't happy and they did this to her. And you should have seen her Spike, her eyes. And I tried to be ok with this, but I can't talk to them because I'm glad she's back, but she's not back not really, because a part of her will always want to be in heaven.' Dawn paused realising she'd been rambling. Spike looked down at her sadly not knowing how to help her. Her gaze returned to the floor before she continued.  
  
'And I'm just.... I'm just so tired.' Dawn added ending leaning on him. He slowly picked her up into his arms. She smiled silently resting her head on his shoulder. 'Thanks Spike,' he heard her whisper. He smiled lovingly down at her as he placed her gently on his bed downstairs in his crypt. She smiled up at him as he lowered the cover over her. He turned back to the door.  
  
'Spike,' she called out quietly. He sat on the edge of the bed taking her hand. 'I love you,' she whispered, as her eyelids closed heavily.  
  
'I love you too,' he whispered back. He smiled leaning in to kiss her. She kissed him back smiling her eyes still shut. He quietly stood up leaving the room. He walked towards the television picking up the new phone he'd nicked. He walked out of the crypt as he dialled the number of Dawn's house. He leant against the outside of the crypt lighting a cigarette as the phone rang on the other end.  
  
'Hello,' Spike heard Buffy say.  
  
'It's Spike,' he started. He paused waiting for her to say something but only heard silence. 'It's about Dawn.'  
  
'Do you know where she is?' Buffy asked.  
  
'Yeah,' Spike replied sadly. 'I saw her walking,' Spike lied. 'It was dark and I was worried' Spike frowned kicking a stone in front of him.  
  
'I told her,' Buffy said quietly so not to be overheard by the others.  
  
'Yeah I know,' Spike cut off. 'She's not ready to come home yet.' Buffy nodded quietly to herself even though Spike couldn't see her. 'She was crying a lot and claimed to be tired and she's fallen asleep here.' Spike paused taking another puff on his cigarette before putting it out on the side of the crypt. 'I thought I'd let you know she'd be here.'  
  
'Thank you Spike,' Buffy said gratefully. 'I'll come and get her later if you want.'  
  
'It's fine,' Spike added subtly trying to hide how pleased he was at the thought of Dawn being able to stay all night. 'Look if she wakes up and wants to come home I'll walk her back. But otherwise I'll let her sleep.'  
  
'Thanks Spike,' Buffy repeated.  
  
'Bye slayer,' Spike replied about to put the phone down.  
  
'Spike wait,' Buffy nearly shouted. She paused in the silence knowing Spike was listening. 'Tell Dawn I love her,' Buffy added sadly before slowly putting the phone down.  
  
When Spike returned to Dawn's side she was silent. Her eyes shut, her lips a little parted Spike watched her chest rise and fall in time with her breath. He smiled at her, in awe of her, taking in her beauty. He stepped across the room still staring at Dawn therefore not seeing the end of the bed. As he walked into it he fell onto the floor with a bang.  
  
He jumped up embarrassed and would have been blushing if he had a pulse. He looked over at Dawn to check she hadn't woken up. She stirred though Spike noticed her eyelids were still shut. He quickly lay down next to her.  
  
'Niblet shhhhh everything's ok,' Spike said before Dawn mumbled quietly to her self.  
  
'She's jealous of us Spike,' Dawn whispered obviously still asleep.  
  
'Who is?' Spike whispered back stroking her hair smiling at Dawn.  
  
'Buffy, she can't win,' She replied. 'She doesn't even have a dance partner. And you're wearing tap shoes....' Dawn trailed off back into slumber.  
  
Spike laughed at her dream. 'Don't worry Niblet, I'll win the trophy for you.' He kissed her forehead before leaning back onto his side to look at her sleep. When he saw her sigh he frowned shifting closer to her wrapping his arms around her. She smiled in her sleep leaning back into him as she felt his cold arms around her.  
  
Spike closed his eyes happily, Dawn's scent engulfing him as he fell into a light sleep.  
  
PLENTY OF SPAWN THERE FOR YOU GUYS HOPE YOU ENJOYED, AND IF YOU DID YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! DUDE I AM SO PSYCHED! I'VE JUST BEEN ASKED FOR MY STORY TO BE ADDED TO A WEBSITE, HOW MUCH DOES THAT ROCK! OK MORE FOR ME THAN YOU BUT STILL... I'M TOTALLY HONOURED (ESPECIALLY AS IT'S MY FIRST STORY)  
  
I just want to say huge thanks again to everyone who has reviewed. You made me smile today, tomorrow and always.  
  
I specifically want to thank saifai whose review got to me (in a good way) Spearsister- I love you so much for reviewing my story for so long and you still like it. And to Enn Enn who it seems likes my writing way more than my English teacher. And to PearlyJammer- you are totally psychic I was going to ask in this chapter if anyone wanted to beta my work. 


	23. time

OK FIRST JUST WANTED TO SAY THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS. AS I HAVEN'T INCLUDED A DISCLAIMER IN A WHILE THOUGHT I'D MAKE IT CLEAR I OWN NONE OF THIS. I am far too young and far too stupid to come up with something this great. We honour you Joss.  
  
Dawn awoke to the sound of birds chirping away. They sound close Dawn thought to her self refusing to move or even open her eyes. She'd just had the best dream ever though she had no recollection what it had been about. She sighed happily before her eyes knit together in confusion. Something didn't feel right, this bed was a lot harder than her own and she was leaning against something cold to her left. She rolled over towards it opening her eyes.  
  
She grinned seeing Spike lying next to her sound asleep. Suddenly last night came back to her. She looked around the room familiarising herself with where she was before her gaze returned to Spike. He looked so quiet and sweet Dawn thought staring at the sleeping vampire. Dawn shifted slightly in her sleep trying to get comfortable not wanting to get up. She smiled down at Spike's arm leaning across her stomach before turning away from him. She closed her eyes shifting back into him wrapping his arm around her more. She smiled happily under his touch until she heard the birds again. She sighed wondering why they were so loud before blinking, opening her eyes.  
  
Spike awoke to the sound of screaming. He jumped up suddenly a confused expression across his face. Turning to the scream he saw Dawn wrapped in the sheet screaming her head off.  
  
'Dawn, what is it?' Spike said sleepily. Dawn turned to him surprised. She pointed behind her, her eyes wide and awake. Spike looked around behind her putting his hand around her waist as he did. He sighed resting his chin on Dawn's shoulder. 'Niblet it's a bird,' Spike said obviously still half asleep. She turned back to him embarrassed.  
  
'I'm sorry,' Dawn said nervously. 'Don't be grumpy.' She grinned kissing him softly. He kissed her back pushing her down onto the bed. 'All better,' she added grinning. They kissed again until Dawn broke it off. 'I'm sorry,' she apologised. 'Could you?' Dawn added looking at the bird washing itself in the corner of the crypt. Spike sighed, rolled his eyes before slowly pulling himself off the bed. She stood up lazily walking towards the bed. Dawn grinned from her seat on the bed.  
  
'Thank you,' she added grinning sweetly hugging her knees. Spike turned back to her frowning as he gently held the bird. Dawn grinned at him. 'Love you,' she said happily as he left.  
  
'You better,' he added sulkily letting the bird go careful to avoid the sunlight. Spike returned to Dawn grumpily.  
  
'You know vampires sleep during the day don't you?' Spike said tired. Dawn couldn't help but grin at him. Dawn looked down at her watch as Spike got back into the bed. She jumped out of bed quickly as Spike's head hit the pillow. Spike looked at her bemused.  
  
'Why didn't you tell me how late it was?' Dawn said wobbling on one leg as she tried to put one of her trainers on.  
  
'What time is it?' Spike asked unconcerned leaning on his side.  
  
'Half seven,' Dawn said trying to straighten her hair. 'Why don't you have a mirror?'  
  
'Vampire,' Spike stated calmly. 'What's the big deal Niblet? You're always late anyway.'  
  
'I am not,' Dawn argued jokingly as she threw on her jacket.  
  
'Sure whatever,' Spike replied rolling his eyes.  
  
'I'll prove it,' Dawn argued her stubborn streak kicking in. 'I'll be on time tonight,' She added crawling onto the bed. She kissed him quickly on the lips. 'I will be here at 4,' Dawn smiled eagerly. 'Maybe I'll even be early.'  
  
'I'll believe that when I see it.' Spike added kissing her again. Dawn hopped of the bed full of energy practically running through the crypt. Spike lost site of her as she reached the top of the crypt. He sighed rolling over on his bed before smiling feeling the heat coming from the bed from where Dawn had lay.  
  
***************  
  
Spike woke at around 2. He fell into his armchair armed with a cup of blood ready for the latest episode of Passions. His eyes knitted together in confusion feeling something under his seat. He felt behind him picking up a piece of paper slightly crumpled under his weight.  
  
He stared at it confused reading his name on one side. He opened it and as he read it his face lit up in a smile.  
  
All it said in Dawn's messy handwriting was three words: I love you.  
  
He put the paper down happily on the table smiling at it completely lost in his thoughts of Dawn.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn checked her watch nervously. It was quarter to four and Dawn was sitting in the Magic Box waiting for Willow and Tara. She sighed again looking at the watch on the wall to compare it with her own. Dawn knew she was going to be late for Spike and she couldn't bear to see his smug face.  
  
'Guys why are we still here?' Dawn said tired looking at the group for answers. Xander sat next to her with equally perplexed look at Buffy and Giles who were sitting across the table. Anya was at the counter trying to sell a customer some chicken feet.  
  
Dawn had arrived at the Magic Box to inform Buffy she would be going to a friend's house (crypt) this evening. On her arrival Buffy and Giles had been in the back room and Anya was working. As Buffy knocked on the back room door she had heard Buffy shouting in a heated discussion with Giles. She had opened the door to silence with Buffy glaring at Giles.  
  
Dawn had been told to wait in the Magic Box and she had obeyed obediently. When Xander joined her they became aware Giles had to tell them all something.  
  
Eventually at five to four Willow and Tara arrived. They sat down immediately neither of them knowing what to expect either.  
  
'I know this may seem a bit sudden,' Giles said standing up taking to the group. On hearing Giles address the group Anya came sat obediently with the group. 'But I feel now's the time...'  
  
'Why don't you just tell them?' Buffy said cutting him off. 'Tell them you're leaving.' Everyone's mouth fell open as their gazes turned to Giles.  
  
'What?' Xander almost screeched. 'You can't not after everything,' Xander said trailing off as he fixed his eyes on Buffy.  
  
'Really this time,' Anya said sadly. Giles nodded smiling sadly. Dawn stared at Giles shocked by the revelation, she opened her mouth to respond but no sound came out.  
  
'I can't be here,' Buffy said suddenly turning to the back room.  
  
'Buffy please,' Giles responded outstretching his arm.  
  
'Giles,' Dawn said quietly stopping him. She shook her head sadly as he walked over to her. She stood up hugging him before adding quietly. 'Are you sure you have to go?' Giles nodded to her as she sat down again. They were all silent for a moment before Anya spoke suddenly,  
  
'When?'  
  
'Tomorrow,' Giles replied.  
  
'Tomorrow,' Willow repeated surprised at how short a time it was. 'That's like tomorrow.'  
  
'I've been planning it a while,' Giles explained.  
  
'But after everything,' Dawn said looking around at the group trying not to blame them. 'Couldn't you stay longer?' She pleaded. Giles sighed looking away,  
  
'I've made up my mind.'  
  
'Oh,' Dawn said quietly looking down as she fiddled with her watch, her date with Spike forgotten.  
  
***************  
  
Spike smiled at his watch smugly. Four o'clock and she wasn't here, Spike smiled at how predictable Dawn was. He leant back into his chair taking a swig of beer.  
  
Spike checked his watch again. It was now seven o'clock and Dawn obviously wasn't coming. He sighed standing up. He didn't want to spend another night sitting in front of the TV. Not being able to see Dawn has annoyed him and he headed out crossbow in hand for a fight.  
  
Spike realised he had subconsciously chosen his patrol route towards Dawn's house. He sighed seeing the lights on in the living room trying to squash the temptation of lurking outside the house. Frowning he strolled towards the house unable to resist it's appeal.  
  
He smiled staring into the window seeing Dawn sat on the couch with Xander, Buffy and Giles. Something about the way she sat showed Spike she wasn't happy. She was sitting on the edge of the sofa gripping her mug with both hands. He watched her talking with the group and his eyes followed her as she stood up and out of sight.  
  
'Guys I've got homework,' Dawn said suddenly standing up.  
  
'Oh ok,' Buffy said sadly. 'Call us if you need any help. Xander looked at her surprised. 'Or ask Willow when she gets home.'  
  
'Ok,' Dawn said trying to smile before bolting up the stairs.  
  
Spike snuck around the back of the house trying to catch another glimpse of Dawn. He smiled seeing her in her bedroom. He turned to leave heading back down the side of the house he caught sight of Giles, Xander and Buffy leaving the house towards Xander's car. He watched for a moment as Buffy said her goodbyes as the men both climbed into the car.  
  
Suddenly without considering anything other than Dawn. He ran around to the back of the house and into the kitchen silently. He climbed the stairs quickly avoiding Buffy who was still talking. He paused at the top of the stairs as the mistake of this idea hit him. Knowing Buffy would return to the house any second he quietly knocked on Dawn's door.  
  
'Come in,' Dawn shouted to the knocking. Spike gently opened the door to see Dawn sitting at her desk, her back turned to him. He crept into the room quietly closing the door behind him. 'Do you know when the Boxer rebellion was?' Dawn said not realising it was Spike.  
  
'1901 luv,' Spike replied smiling. Dawn spun around in confusion. Seeing Spike her face lit up in a smile before standing and running towards him.  
  
'Spike,' she squealed throwing her arms around his neck. 'What are you doing here?' She added confused. Spike stared down at her indicating she was the reason. 'Oh right,' Dawn replied sheepishly. 'But what about Buffy? She's downstairs with the others,' she added concerned.  
  
'She was outside saying goodbye to her watcher,' Spike said stroking her hair. Dawn's smile fell from her face.  
  
'Giles is leaving,' Dawn said sadly looking away from Spike.  
  
'Yeah Niblet I saw him getting in Xander's car.' Spike said confused why Dawn was so upset.  
  
'No,' she said shaking her head. 'He's leaving, leaving town leaving, leaving the country leaving.  
  
'Oh, he replied knowing Dawn would be upset for Buffy. 'Even after everything with Buffy?' Dawn nodded silently.  
  
'So....' she said throwing her arms around his neck to forget about Giles. 'Why did you come round?' She asked moving towards him until their faces were almost touching. Their lips met slowly, Spike more aware that Buffy was downstairs than Dawn. They kissed again both completely forgetting Buffy's existed.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy shouted walking up the stairs. The couple flew apart, as Buffy neared Dawn's shut door. She knocked quietly, 'Can I come in?' she asked waiting patiently.  
  
'Hang on,' Dawn shouted too loudly afraid. 'I'm not dressed,' she added looking around her room for a hiding place. Spike tipped his head to the side grinning. Dawn glared at him gently hitting him on the arm as the opened the wardrobe door. Spike looked at the tiny space turning back to Dawn.  
  
'You've got to be joking,' he whispered at her. She rolled her eyes at him holding the door open as he reluctantly clambered in.  
  
'Dawn?' Buffy asked impatiently.  
  
'Coming,' Dawn squealed back pushing on the wardrobe door. 'Just looking for pants.' She walked over to the door opening it to see Buffy standing there. 'Buffy,' Dawn said acting surprised.  
  
Buffy walked into her room confused. 'Dawn there are clothes all over this room, how could you not find pants?'  
  
'I panicked,' Dawn joked picking up a mound of clothes and tossing it into the corner.  
  
'You can tidy it up when you've finished your homework,' Buffy added. She sighed spotting 3 mugs on her side table.  
  
'Anything else,' Dawn argued resting a hand on her hip. 'I do enjoy these little talks we have where you hand out chores.'  
  
'I wouldn't have to if you cleaned up this pig sty,'  
  
'Hey, pigs are really clean anyway,' Dawn argued.  
  
'For the last time Dawn we are not getting a piglet,' Buffy said moving back to the door. Dawn smiled at her sister pleadingly.  
  
'Fine,' Dawn pouted crossing her arms. 'Could I get a tattoo instead?' Dawn suggested grinning.  
  
'Anyway,' Buffy said ignoring her sister. 'I only came in to tell you I'm going patrolling, Willow and Tara will be back soon.'  
  
'Have fun,' Dawn added before closing the door. 'Kill something for me.'  
  
Dawn let out a deep breath hearing Buffy run down the stairs.  
  
Dawn turned opening the wardrobe door. 'How you doing?' She asked before bursting out laughing. Spike scrambled out of the wardrobe a flowery pink t- shirt on his head.  
  
'Don't think it's my colour,' he said discarding the top. 'So where were we?' He said wrapping his arms around Dawn's waist.  
  
'We were about to get caught,' Dawn stated. 'Tara and Willow will be back any minute.' Spike ignored her comment pulling her closer.  
  
'How long does it take for you to get rid of your sister?' Spike added grinning.  
  
'I thought I'd make you suffer,' Dawn said pulling away from the kiss. 'You are such a jerk,' she joked messing up his hair.  
  
'Jerk?' He questioned.  
  
'A loser,' Dawn explained kissing him.  
  
'Forgive me,' he added kissing her again.  
  
'Always,' Dawn said smiling deepening the next kiss.  
  
OK I'VE DECIDED TO RESPOND TO SOME OF MY REVIEWS BECAUSE YOU GUYS ROCK AND I'VE GOT SO MANY RECENTLY.  
  
Firstly to someone smart (though I totally disagree with the name) to be honest I was upset by your review at first. What were you expecting it clearly says a Dawn/ Spike fic. If you were expecting Spuffy you are really not that smart. I accept you are entitled to you own opinion but if you want to review please also comment on my writing rather than just your hatred of Dawn. And if it is the worst thing you've ever read please be specific, is it my inability to portray the characters well, my common use of English grammar rather than American, my appalling spelling and grammar in general or what? Helpful criticism is always welcome in small doses.  
  
To Lexinator you are reading too much into it. I'm not one of those people who can discover hidden meanings in poems and books, like 'of mice and men' and therefore can't write like that either. But if it makes me seem cleverer then yes it was a reference to OMWF. Lol  
  
To naughty169420 there will be no getting it on in the near future. Firstly they don't get to spend much time together, if they had when she'd stayed the night I think it would have portrayed Spike in the wrong light by taking advantage of her when she was vulnerable. Dawn was upset and she needed comforting not naked Spike. (Not saying naked Spike isn't comforting but do you get what I mean?) and thirdly though I'm all for Spike and Dawn working out she's still only 16. But then in the future who knows...?  
  
And stargurl727 who took the time out to email me about my story twice, u rock!  
  
SO JUST KEEP REVIEWING! 


	24. discovery

It had been a week since Giles had left as Buffy reached the end of her patrol. She decided to cut through the graveyard nearest her house in case she ran into any demons.  
  
Seeing her road over the gravestones she smiled triumphantly having avoided any vampires. She walked slowly showing her lack of energy. She was exhausted from just being here. She sighed quietly to herself remembering how happy she felt in heaven. She paused suddenly overcome with tiredness and sat on a grave. She groaned lowering her head onto her hands. She closed her eyes trying to block everything out, the noise, the light the feeling of being here. It wasn't usually this difficult any more but after a hard day all she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and sleep.  
  
Her eyes knitted together in confusion on hearing voices caught in the gentle breeze. She slowly lifted her head, showing how intense the effort to move was.  
  
She stood up awkwardly and looked around to discover where the voices were coming from. Unsure who or what it was Buffy cautiously walked through the edge of the graveyard concealing her self by trees.  
  
As she neared the noises she turned around by a large bush obscuring whoever was talking. Careful to prevent them from seeing her she peeked out from the bush in case it was a group of vampires.  
  
She gazed out at the two people instantly recognising them as Dawn and Spike. She relaxed her muscles and paused unsure if she wanted to return home just yet or remain in the silence of the night. Staring out at the two laughing and talking she didn't hear the vampire approach from behind her.  
  
Buffy frowned wondering for a moment why Dawn was out with Spike. She thought Dawn had been at a friend's. Buffy thought back unable to remember which friend it was.  
  
Buffy stared at them unaware of the vampire behind her. Suddenly the vampire ran at Buffy knocking her forward. She fell stopped only by a large stone grave. She gasped in pain grabbing her stomach as she sensed the vampire coming up behind her.  
  
***************  
  
Spike insisted on walking Dawn home. She had only been able to see him briefly that night but they both savoured any time to be alone. As they arrived at the exit to the graveyard that led to Dawn's house they paused. They said good night to each other here as Spike could see Dawn walking to her house preventing anything happening to her but it was far enough away that no one from the house would see them.  
  
'So what are you doing now?' Dawn asked Spike as they slowly ambled through the graveyard.  
  
'I'm visiting a demon, then home' Spike replied as if the most normal thing to do. Dawn didn't question why, she didn't need to know and as long as the demon didn't rip his head off. 'There's a rerun of Passion I want to see.' Dawn laughed smiling up at Spike not surprised by his nighttime activity.  
  
'So I'll see you tomorrow,' Dawn said happily to Spike as they stopped by the entrance. 'I don't know when I can get away but....' Dawn paused seeing Spike step closer to her. She looked at him silently wrapping her arms around his neck and smiling happily. As they moved closer a crash from behind them caused Dawn to quickly move her arms and stare into the darkness. 'What was that? Can you see anything?' She added unconcerned.  
  
'Don't see anything Niblet, probably just a cat.' Spike said his focus never moving from Dawn. She smiled under his gaze unaware Buffy was in trouble near by. As they moved towards each other again, stubborn they wouldn't get distracted again.  
  
***************  
  
As Buffy lay in the darkness she felt the vampire take her arm. Her instincts took over as she swung her leg around towards the vampire ignoring the pain shooting through her stomach. She felt her boot slam into the vampire's head sending him sprawled across the grass. She looked over at the vampire lying motionless on the ground and rolled back over. The pain in her stomach had increased after the forceful kick and she took several deep breaths trying to dull the pain. She tried to stand up faltering and grabbed at a grave to steady her self. She looked over at the vampire again who still lay motionless on the floor.  
  
She turned back to check on Dawn to make certain she wouldn't encounter another vampire and froze.  
  
***************  
  
As Dawn and Spike pulled apart Dawn grinned up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck in a hug. He placed his hands across her hips resting his face in her hair. She pulled away slowly as if painful and kissed Spike again quickly before turning towards her house and walking away. As she continued happily down the street Dawn turned back to Spike blowing him a kiss. He smiled back at her digging his hands in his pockets staring after her. He watched how she moved, how she smiled at him how her hair bounced across her back as she walked and turned her head. He stared after the woman he adored before turning down the street to Clem's.  
  
***************  
  
Buffy took a sharp intake of breath realising she had ceased breathing a while ago. She continued to watch Spike and Dawn kissing unable to understand what she was seeing.  
  
Buffy felt completely numb, this can't be real, this can't be happening. I must be seeing things; Buffy thought to her self, like the demon the others had created bringing her back. There must be another one; she thought logically to her self because her brain was telling her what she was seeing just couldn't be possible.  
  
'Dawnie,' she whispered quietly to herself before the demon she had knocked out minutes earlier came flying at her once again pushing her to the ground. Although she had been oblivious of the vampire again her slayer muscles were warmed up ready. As she fell to the ground she completed a forward roll at ease landing back on her feet. She looked over at the vampire who had also returned to his feet and was standing in front of her ready to fight.  
  
She squatted down to retrieve her stake as the vampire came running at her. The vampire swung his leg out aimed at the slayer but Buffy aware of the vampire's intentions neatly swung to the side. The vampire missed her and as his leg continued with momentum she turned grabbing his leg and lifting it up causing the vampire to fall onto his back. Buffy jumped up kicking the vampire across the side.  
  
She didn't pause to stake the vampire instead pulling the vampire up by his shirt and throwing him against a mausoleum. He slumped against the concrete wall obviously in too much pain to move. Buffy slammed her fist across the vampire's face. Taking deep breaths she hit the vampire again across the cheek causing the vampires cheek to cut open from her ring making it bleed. She continued hitting the vampire violently pausing after every few punches to catch her breath. Her anger rising as she thought of Spike and Dawn the strength of her punches increased. The vampire's face now a bloody mess remained motionless.  
  
As Buffy finally began to run out of energy her breaks between punches increased as she tried to catch her breath. Finally she fell to her knees exhausted from the fight and seeing Dawn and Spike. She quickly dusted the mangled vampire and sat taking sharp intakes of breath as her pulse gradually slowed to normal. She remained on her knees rolling the stake between her hands thinking.  
  
Slowly Buffy stood up and turned towards the exit of the graveyard. Her face-hardened in concentration as she walked slowly and purposefully home for a confrontation with Dawn.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn sat on the sofa watching TV with a sandwich on her lap. As Buffy opened the door and walked into the living room, Dawn licked her fingers and muted the TV.  
  
'Hey Buffy.' Dawn said happily. She was still grinning from seeing Spike. 'How was patrolling?' Buffy entered the lounge her arms crossed with a serous expression across her face. Dawn's smile fell immediately and was replaced with concern. 'What's wrong Buffy?'  
  
When Buffy didn't reply Dawn stood up leaving the sandwich on the table. She touched Buffy's arms gently and repeated, 'What's happened?' Buffy looked up from the floor and into Dawn's eyes. There wasn't anger in her eyes; there wasn't sadness just disbelief.  
  
'Dawn,' she said quietly staring at her little sister's eyes. 'I know.' Dawn's face gave nothing away. Since she had fallen for Spike she had become a great actress. But inside she was panicking unsure what Buffy knew. Did she know she hadn't been at her friends or did she know what she felt for Spike or what he felt for her?  
  
'Know what?' Dawn said looking confused and afraid. Dawn backed away from Buffy subtly breaking eye contact and looking away. She turned slowly trying to avoid her sister's gaze.  
  
'I know about you and Spike,' Buffy said calmly. Dawn head snapped around to her sister, Dawn's worst fears confirmed.  
  
'Buffy?' Dawn questioned quietly, concerned, afraid of her sister's reaction.  
  
'Buffy?' She repeated again after the long silence. Dawn turned away from Buffy picking up her dirty plate from the table. She turned back to Buffy and opened her mouth to speak again when Buffy took the plate from her. Dawn smiled nervously up at her sister.  
  
Buffy looked down at the plate momentarily thinking before throwing the plate at the floor smashing it into pieces. Dawn jumped and turned to her sister afraid.  
  
'Buffy I know what your thinking but...' Dawn began.  
  
'But nothing,' Buffy shouted back. 'What the hell do you think you're doing?' Dawn looked away from her sister not knowing how to answer. 'Dawn,' Buffy said her voice beginning to waver. 'What has he done to you?' Dawn's head snapped up to Buffy's face.  
  
'Nothing,' she said shaking her head before adding calmly. 'Buffy it's ok.'  
  
'How can it be ok Dawn?' Buffy added unsure whether to be concerned or angry. 'He's a vampire.' She emphasised as if telling Dawn for the first time.  
  
'It is ok Buffy, I love him.' Dawn said softly. Buffy looked straight at Dawn and then turned away sitting in an armchair her head in her hands. 'Buffy please talk to me,' Dawn begged worried about her sister. Buffy looked up at her sister and sighed sadly.  
  
'How could you do this Dawn?' Buffy started.  
  
'Buffy I love him.' Dawn argued back sympathetically. She knew Buffy couldn't understand but that didn't stop Dawn trying to explain.  
  
'I know you think you do Dawnie.' Dawn looked at Buffy surprised. Dawn realised Buffy still saw her as a little kid, the child who liked to have her hair braided every night when she was seven.  
  
'No Buffy I love him,' Dawn began honestly. She squatted down next to her sister in the chair trying to make her understand. 'He was there for me when you couldn't be, I know you left to save the world, for me, for the others but I needed you, I needed you the most and you weren't there. Everyone I loved kept leaving me and I had no one, except Spike.' Dawn looked at her feet not wanting to blame Buffy about leaving.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy said gently stroking her's hair. 'He preyed on you Dawn, used you when you were weak and vulnerable.' Buffy said livid at Spike. Dawn pulled away suddenly standing up glaring at Buffy angry she couldn't understand.  
  
'Spike would never hurt me,' Dawn said holding back tears. 'You weren't here Buffy,' Dawn said spitefully. 'You can't know,' she said before pleading at her sister. 'He loves me Buffy.'  
  
Buffy stood up stepping towards her sister. 'He can't feel love Dawnie he's a vampire why can't you understand that?' Buffy said confused by everything Dawn was telling her.  
  
'Buffy I don't care he's a vampire I love him, just because you say so doesn't mean I can turn off my feelings.' Dawn said forcefully.  
  
'He's a monster Dawn,' Buffy replied coldly thinking of all the horrific things she had seen him do and incidents he had told her about.  
  
'No he's not,' Dawn said confidently. 'He's a good, he may have done these things in the past but not anymore.' Dawn looked at her sister pleading with her to understand.  
  
Buffy ignored her sister's stares, 'Only because of the chip in his head, if the initiative hadn't put it there do you really think he'd be here in Sunnydale and not massacring a little girl your age in Europe?' Buffy debated.  
  
'It doesn't matter,' Dawn said shaking her head. 'He has the chip,' Dawn almost screamed. 'He says he has changed, the chip changed Spike and I believe him.' Dawn said certainly. Buffy stared at Dawn angry at Spike that he could have done this to her little sister.  
  
'I'm sorry Buffy,' Dawn said sadly to her sister as she gripped her hand. 'I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I love you Buffy, you're my sister there's no one more important to me than you. But I love Spike as well and I can't change that. I'm not expecting you two to be best friends but try Buffy...for me.' Dawn looked at he sister pleading with her. 'Buffy I can't help I'm in love him,' she admitted honestly.  
  
'I'm going to kill him,' Buffy said moving towards the weapon's chest.  
  
'No,' Dawn screamed her eyes wide with panic tears falling down her face. 'Buffy please,' she begged. 'You can't,' Dawn said grabbing her arm. 'Buffy I love him,' she whispered as her tears stopped. Buffy stopped and turned to look at Dawn, her face solemn. Dawn saw the serious look in her eyes.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy began softly. You're not to see Spike again,' Dawn eyes widened. She blinked refusing to let herself cry again in front of Buffy. 'I won't let you out of my sight until you're over this ridiculous crush.' Buffy added coldly showing no emotion. Dawn stared at her sister completely in shock. Buffy touched Dawn's shoulder trying to make her understand. 'Dawn?' Buffy said her face softening.  
  
'Don't touch me,' Dawn spat back stepping away out of her sister's reach. She looked at Buffy in disgust before turning and running up the stairs just as the door opened and Willow entered. She looked up towards Dawn confused before walking towards Buffy.  
  
Buffy had sat on the couch her head in her hands.  
  
'Are you ok Buff?' Willow said concerned. Buffy looked up to her and nodded.  
  
'What's wrong with Dawn?' Willow said pointing up the stairs.  
  
'We had a fight,' Buffy said exhausted. 'Nothing important,' Buffy added staring up the stairs after Dawn. 'Will, I don't know if I've just made a huge mistake.' Buffy said honestly. Willow hugged her best friend comforting her. She didn't need to ask what it was about as Willow carefully picked up the broken crockery on the floor.  
  
OK GUYS WERE YOU EXPECTING BUFFY TO FIND OUT TODAY? TELL ME HONESTLY IT WAS A SHOCK. I HOPE IT WAS AS I THOUGHT THE STORY NEEDED STIRRING UP.  
  
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.  
  
Again to my fabulous reviewers you guys rock. I'm a little teary eyed about how great you are and how nice but I'm being a little over emotional  
  
To Nicola who actually reviewed and emailed me about my story, just wanted to say thanks and you reply to emails scarily quickly. But thanks anyway. Ok I know it just means we were on the net at the same time but I'm still in awe of the wonders of technology.  
  
To Enn enn who has reviewed 4 like ever I love that you tell me your favourite bits, it just proves you read my story. Lol  
  
To saifai you are always so nice to me in my reviews and I do really appreciate it. I don't say this to them enough but you are all so lovely.  
  
To Lexiantor there is nothing wrong with being long winded, I enjoy good rambles about nothing in particular just ask my friends. Talking about anything and everything is always fun and I intend to do it more.  
  
Great thanks to spearsister who reviewed my story twice, yes twice, you could all take a leaf out of her book. I'm just kidding wanting more than one review is just greedy but if you do get the urge go right ahead.  
  
Ok guys you know I love you all right, well I'm so close to 100 reviews and was wondering if with this chapter we could make it. This is my first story and I'm just so proud of it and to show the world it is a 'great' story or boost my self-confidence or belief or whatever. What do you say? This is like the last hurdle (before I want 150 reviews lol) 


	25. fight to the death

Dawn quietly came down the stairs carrying a bag.  
  
'Buffy?' she called out nervously. On not hearing a reply she increased her pace.  
  
'Dawn' Dawn froze turning towards Willow in the living room. Quickly tossing her bag out of her view Dawn walked towards Willow nervously fiddling with her hands. 'What are you up to?' Willow asked from her position picking up the broken crockery. 'Are you ok?' She stood up facing Dawn showing her concern. 'I got you and Buffy were fighting, do you want to tell me about it?'  
  
'Oh it was nothing,' Dawn masked trying not to sound guilty. 'Sister stuff,' she joked smiling. Willow smiled back still concerned. Dawn looked at the floor uncomfortably. 'So where is she?'  
  
'Oh Buffy went out,' Willow said. 'After you went upstairs, she took some weapons. Said she was going patrolling.' Dawn's eyes widened in fear knowing she would be going to Spike's. 'And I'm staying in to look after you.' Willow said taking the broken plate out into the kitchen not noticing Dawn's concern. 'Do you want to watch a movie?' Willow shouted to her. When she didn't reply Willow walked back into the lounge confused. 'Dawn?' she called out surprised. Her face fell when she saw the front door ajar and no site of Dawn.  
  
***************  
  
Hundreds of thoughts raced through Buffy's head as she walked quickly to Spike's crypt though one was certain. I'm going to kill him. Buffy had surprised herself she hadn't gone straight to his place after she'd found out, instead of going home. Her talk with Dawn had only increased her anger. She gripped her stake tighter looking down at it.  
  
As she stood at Spike's door she took a deep breath preparing her self. She closed her eyes thinking before kicking out at the door. It splintered off its hinges flying across the floor. Spike turned to her angrily before his eyes fell to the door lying on the floor.  
  
'What do you want slayer?' Spike asked carelessly before standing up. 'Last time I saw you we were both nursing hangovers. And you were a ray of sunshine then.' Spike added sarcastically. 'So what? Whenever you're pissed off you come and take out your anger on me.' Spike looked down at the stake in her hand. 'You brought props.' He added imitating how thoughtful it was. Buffy glared back at him. When she didn't reply Spike continued, 'so you threaten to kill me, I promise to be a good little vampire and you go home.' Buffy continued to glare at Spike as she stepped towards him.  
  
'I'm not threatening Spike,' Buffy began gripping the stake. 'I don't want to talk, I don't want to argue, I don't want to threaten. I want to fight you and then kill you,' Buffy paused before adding. 'Painfully.' Spike smiled at her.  
  
'So you're ready to kill me now,' Spike said calmly. Buffy shook her head smiling slightly that Spike still didn't get it. 'It's doesn't bother you I'm harmless.'  
  
'You're not harmless,' Buffy said trying to control her anger.  
  
'Now how do you know that?' Spike said walking towards her. 'I didn't tell anyone, I didn't even try to hurt you.' Buffy looked at him confused.  
  
'Huh?' she asked surprised.  
  
'Is that not what you're talking about?' Spike asked as he circled the slayer enjoying her confusion. He walked away from her before turning to face her as he lent against the wall of his crypt. 'So you didn't know I could hit you? Huh?' Spike smiled as Buffy realised what he was saying. 'So what do you know about me?' Spike asked teasing her. 'Will I be expecting a call from the IRS any day now?' Spike joked. 'How did you find out I was cheating on my taxes?' Spike smiled dismissing the slayers usually empty threats.  
  
'Spike,' Buffy said happily smiling as she took another slow step towards him. 'If we're being honest here, with you declaring your tax fraud, I'll admit. I was feeling a little guilty about killing you as you weren't able to physically hurt anyone but now,' Buffy said taking another large step towards Spike. 'I'm going to enjoy killing you.'  
  
'Oh slayer,' Spike said calmly. 'I can't hurt anyone, only you. It's not me that's different it's you. Since you've come back you've been different. I've noticed it, your friends have noticed, Dawn's noticed.' Buffy cringed as Spike used her name. 'You must know.'  
  
'You're wrong,' Buffy said raising the stake in her grasp. 'I'm going to kill you.'  
  
'You can try,' Spike said stepping towards her. She flew at him hitting him across the face. He blocked her second punch returning it with his own before she threw him across the room. He stood up slowly touching his lip and feeling the blood. He smiled down at it before looking up at Buffy. 'So just to clear this up, why are you killing me?'  
  
'Because my 16 year old sister thinks you're the love of her life and you've convinced her you're in love with her.' Spike looked up at her surprised. Buffy had never seen him look so upset. For a minute she almost believed he had feelings and what Dawn had told her.  
  
'Oh,' Spike said quietly.  
  
'Is that all you can say?' Buffy said disgusted.  
  
'What do you want me to say?' Spike answered almost apologetically. Buffy stared at him angrily.  
  
'I want you to tell me I'm wrong, tell me it's all in Dawn's head.' Buffy pleaded angrily.  
  
'I can't,' Spike said quietly before looking up at Buffy. 'I'm in love with her.'  
  
'Oh my god,' Buffy said her hand covering her mouth as she turned around. Buffy heard Spike hesitantly step towards her. She spun around. 'I hate you Spike,' she spat at him. A couple of weeks ago Spike would have been upset by her comment but he no longer cared what she thought.  
  
'I don't care what you think slayer, I only care about her.' Spike said referring to Dawn.  
  
'You're a vampire,' Buffy shouted. 'You don't feel anything.' Buffy argued for the second time that night. She walked up to him again hitting him with all her force. He fell backwards onto the concrete.  
  
'Come on slayer, he shouted back. 'Let it all out.' She hit him again. 'Come on that's nothing.' Spike taunted her before she hit him again. 'Feel that anger,' Spike shouted smiling. 'Do you feel alive again?' Spike asked before she hit him again. Then realising what he'd said she jumped up, her hand clasped over her mouth and backed away. He sat up watching her. 'Buffy?' he asked surprised.  
  
'Don't,' she said quietly. 'I'm not...' Buffy began. 'I'm better,' Buffy said quietly.  
  
'Better?' Spike questioned. 'Didn't know coming back from heaven was something you could get over.'  
  
'Well I have,' Buffy lied looking away.  
  
'Slayer I'm not your friends, I don't need to kid myself you're ok. That's their job. I'm not an idiot,' he said walking towards her. 'So don't bother treating me like one and lying to me.'  
  
'What are you doing?' Buffy asked looking at him confused. 'Why are we talking about this? This is about Dawn.'  
  
'Remembered her have you,' Spike insulted. 'As far I was aware you've beaten me up to make yourself feel better it's had nothing to do with Dawn.'  
  
'Shut up,' Buffy screamed desperately. 'I'm here to kill you and nothing else.'  
  
'Where's the fun in that?' Spike asked enjoying himself. 'If this is a fight to the death, we might as well let it all out.' Spike turned around walking away from Buffy.  
  
'Is this all a big game to you?' Buffy screamed furiously. 'You make Dawn feel for you and now you're what? What do you want from me Spike?' Buffy asked desperately. Spike silently walked back across the room towards Buffy.  
  
'I want her,' Spike whispered.  
  
'Over my dead body,' Buffy answered angrily. Spike smirked at her.  
  
'Been there done that.' He replied as Buffy looked angrily at him.  
  
'You'd have kill me to continue seeing Dawn' Spike smiled back at her stupidity.  
  
'I don't want to kill you slayer,' He said sadly. 'Ok that's a lie,' Spike admitted. 'But I would never kill you.' Buffy looked at him confused. 'And it's not because I was in love with you but it's because Dawn loves you. I know if I was to kill you I'd have lost Dawn and that's the difference between you and me. I won't hurt her.' Buffy surprised by his answer punched him across the face.  
  
'I would never hurt Dawn,' Buffy said angrily.  
  
'Isn't that what you came here to do?' Spike asked. 'If you kill the man she loves...'  
  
'You're not a man,' Buffy cut in.  
  
'I am to Dawn,' Spike argued. 'If you kill me she'd never forgive you.'  
  
'I can live with that,' Buffy lied. Spike smiled at the lie.  
  
'I don't believe you,' Spike replied stepping back towards her. Buffy pushed him back away form her confused as she realised what Spike was saying was true. She paused looking at him as she tried to compose herself.  
  
'Spike you know there's no way I'll let you see Dawn. So how about I kill you and we'll tell Dawn you fell onto the stake,' Buffy joked. 'One big accident.'  
  
'Oh I'm not going without a fight.' Spike explained quietly laughing. 'But then I didn't suppose you would either.' As the two squared off Buffy realised Spike wasn't taking the fight as seriously as she was. She lunged at him throwing all her anger at him. He flew backwards hitting the back wall with a crack.  
  
Spike lent forward holding his chest.  
  
'Spike.' Buffy and Spike turned their heads to the door to see Dawn running in. She ran straight over to Spike ignoring Buffy. 'Spike are you ok?' She asked concerned.  
  
'I'll be fine Niblet,' Spike said reassuringly stroking Dawn's hair.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy shouted making the two lovers turn towards her as if surprised by her presence. When Dawn didn't move Buffy continued. 'Get away from him.'  
  
'No,' Dawn said turning back to Spike before continuing in a calmer voice. 'Sorry I didn't get here earlier,' she apologised. 'Vampire,' she explained calmly. Spike looked at her concerned. 'But I killed this one,' Dawn continued quickly.  
  
'This one?' Buffy screamed pulling Dawn away by her arm. 'What is she talking about?' she asked Spike.  
  
'You killed your first vampire,' Spike said proudly.  
  
'Your first vampire,' Buffy said lovingly in the same way as Spike.  
  
'Is it wrong I'm ok with you killing fellow vampires?' Spike questioned to no one in particular.  
  
'Shut up,' Buffy instructed him before turning back to Dawn. 'Are you ok?'  
  
'Guys it's not like I've not fought vampires before,' Dawn explained. Buffy turned back to Spike angrily.  
  
'Spike,' Buffy said knowing he'd have something to do with it.  
  
'Don't look at me,' Spike said angrily before pausing to think. 'Oh you mean when you were trapped in the sewers.'  
  
'What?' Buffy screamed at both of them. Dawn glared at Spike. Spike saw her gaze before his boots distracted his eyes. 'How dare you put my little sister in danger?' Buffy said angrily lifting the stake. 'Only you would be stupid enough to take her into the sewers?' Spike opened his mouth to answer but seeing Dawn still glaring at him he looked down at the floor again. She stepped towards Spike subtly lifting the stake. Dawn saw the movement quickly jumping between the two of them. 'Dawn get out of my way,' Buffy said lifting the stake further.  
  
'No,' Dawn said defiantly. 'I won't let you hurt him.' Buffy rolled her eyes at her sister. 'Shut up,' Dawn shouted at Buffy's action.  
  
'What did she say?' Spike asked confused. Dawn turned to glare at him again. For the third time Spike's gaze meekly returned to the floor.  
  
'Dawn get out of my way,' Buffy said sternly.  
  
'No,' Dawn repeated. 'If you hurt him I'll never forgive you.'  
  
'Told you,' Spike said proudly before grabbing his chest in pain. He fell forwards closing his eyes in pain.  
  
'Spike,' Dawn said worried turning towards him.  
  
'Get away from him Dawn,' Buffy said pulling at her sister's arm.  
  
'He's hurt Buffy,' Dawn said angrily. 'Get off me.' She shouted trying to wriggle free of her grip.  
  
'Dawn we are leaving, now.' Buffy said.  
  
'Buffy I can't until you promise me you are not going to hurt him. Owww,' Dawn whined as Buffy's grip on her arm tightened.  
  
'Dawn he's a killer,' Buffy argued.  
  
'He's reformed,' Dawn contributed.  
  
'Hey,' Spike shouted angrily before Dawn turned to him impatiently. 'Oh yeah,' Spike corrected. 'I'm all reformed no more killing for Spike. I only eat candy floss and breadsticks now.' Dawn rolled her eyes as Buffy shook her head impatiently.  
  
'Spike,' Dawn said calmly. Spike looked up attentively. 'Shut up.' Buffy smiled at her sister. At least she can tell when he's being an idiot Buffy thought. 'He can't hurt anyone Buffy.' Dawn said. Buffy smiled before turning to Spike. He looked up at her knowing what she was thinking. Deciding now wasn't the time to discuss the possibilities of her being a demon Buffy turned back to her sister.  
  
'Dawn I have to kill him,' Buffy said calmly.  
  
'No,' Dawn said feeling her eyes begin to well up with tears. 'Buffy you can't, please.' Dawn begged. Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he saw Dawn about to cry. 'Buffy is there any way?' Dawn hoped desperately. Buffy looked at her sister suddenly feeling pangs of guilt as the tears trickled down her sister's cheeks.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy tried sadly.  
  
'You can't kill him; I can't let you take him away from me.' Dawn said ignoring the tears. 'I'll stay away from him.' Dawn suggested desperately. 'I will leave with you now, willingly.' Dawn said touching her sisters arm. 'If you promise me you won't hurt him.' Buffy stared across at her sister. She brushed some hair behind her sister's hair before she spoke very quietly.  
  
'Ok,' Buffy said quietly. Dawn smiled across at Buffy surprised. Buffy ignoring Spike quickly turned and stood by the door. Not knowing what to do Dawn watched Buffy uncomfortably. Not wanting to look at Spike she lowered her head following Buffy.  
  
Spike watched the interaction between Dawn and Buffy speechless. All he wanted to was stand up and wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her, but he couldn't. He stood up slowly leaning against the wall. Spike watched her walk slowly across the crypt not once looking across at him. His heart broke to her looking like this.  
  
Dawn felt his eyes on her as she met Buffy at the door. As Buffy solemnly left the crypt Dawn finally turned to face him. He hadn't seen the tears in her eyes.  
  
'Dawn,' he said sadly.  
  
'Don't,' she whispered miserably shaking her head. She looked up out of crypt towards Buffy before running up to him embracing him gently in a hug. Spike sighed, as he smelled her hair not wanting to believe this could be the last time he got to hold her. They held each other desperately neither wanting to let go. 'I love you,' she whispered sadly before slowly pulling out of the hug.  
  
She turned away sadly before he quickly grabbed her hand. She turned back to him surprised. 'You know I love you,' Spike confirmed. Dawn smiled up sadly at him.  
  
'I know,' she said before letting his hand fall away and running out of the crypt refusing to look back. Spike watched her go frozen on the spot. He stared at the door not moving for what seemed like an eternity just hoping she'd return.  
  
OK THANKS FOR ALL YOUR REVIEWS I REALLY APPRECIATE IT. I DID  
  
HOPE THIS SATISFIES ANYONE'S NEED TO SEE BUFFY GET HER ASS KICKED FOR NOW OR YOU HATE ME FOR HER NOT ACCEPTING DAWN AND SPIKE. SO PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK X more soon X 


	26. mourning

SORRY IT'S BEEN FOREVER BUT HERE IS A PEACE OFFERING.  
  
Buffy and Dawn returned to the house in silence. Buffy had watched Dawn as they walked. Dawn walked wordlessly, her head lowered looking at the floor. Buffy was unable to see her face as her hair covered it but she had seen her expression when they had left the crypt. They continued silently home Dawn not wanting to talk and Buffy not knowing what to say. A couple of times she'd opened her mouth to speak but closed it again realising there was nothing she could say.  
  
As Buffy opened the door she watched Dawn nervously walk across the hall. Buffy watched her guiltily knowing she was the reason behind her mood.  
  
'Dawn,' Willow said happily as she saw them arrive. Tara followed with an equally relieved expression. Dawn smiled meekly as Willow embraced her. 'Where was she Buffy?' Willow said assuming Buffy had found her while out on patrol. Buffy surprised by the question turned to her surprised.  
  
'Oh I just saw her walking,' Buffy lied. 'I didn't realise Willow knew you'd left.' Buffy accused Dawn. Dawn glared at Buffy.  
  
'I'm sorry I worried you,' Dawn said emotionlessly.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy tried touching her arm. Dawn pulled away instantly crossing her arms protectively. Willow and Tara sensing the tension looked from each other to Buffy and Dawn confused.  
  
'We were talking about going to the Bronze,' Willow said to Buffy and Dawn. 'We were wondering if you would want to come? Xander and Anya might be there too.' Buffy smiled at the effort her friend was making.  
  
'We were just going to stay in,' Buffy apologised. 'Patrolling took it out of me.'  
  
'Ok,' Willow accepted as she passed Tara her coat. She looked from the silent Dawn back to Buffy. 'Oh Dawn you left your bag down here,' Willow said grabbing it from where Dawn had left.'  
  
'Thank you,' Dawn said taking the bag and hugging it close to her chest. Buffy's eyes knitted together in confusion.  
  
'What's in the bag?' Buffy asked curiously.  
  
'Nothing,' Dawn said quietly. 'Can't I have any secrets anymore?' Dawn said heartlessly at Buffy referring to her now not so secret relationship with Spike. Buffy rolled her eyes at how childish Dawn was being before staring at her expectantly. 'Fine,' Dawn finally screamed unzipping the backpack.  
  
'We're going to go,' Tara said quietly to the other two wanting to avoid the argument about to erupt. Buffy gratefully opened the door for them as Dawn tipped out the contents of the bag. Buffy sighed as the closed the door again. She looked down at the clothes and objects on the floor before opening her mouth in surprise and looking back up at Dawn.  
  
'Dawn?' She questioned angrily. She squatted down sifting through the clothes. 'What the hell is this? Were you running away?' Buffy asked standing up again.  
  
'You're shocked?' Dawn said surprised before sighing 'Buffy,' Dawn said exhausted. 'Lets not do this now,' Dawn said turning to the stairs.  
  
'We will talk about this now,' Buffy shouted.  
  
'What do you want me to say?' Dawn said turning back to Buffy in the same tired voice.  
  
'I want you to explain yourself,' Buffy said angrily.  
  
'It doesn't matter anymore. Buffy.' Dawn began before taking a deep breath. 'I'm done, you win, whatever. I don't want to argue about the bag, I don't want to argue about Spike. Now I've agreed never to see him again so will you please just let it rest. It's over.' Dawn said staring at Buffy. 'And it's all your fault.' Dawn turned sadly slowly walking up the stairs to her bedroom. Buffy watched her go before slowly picking up the clothes and folding them into a neat pile.  
  
When she had finished Buffy carried all Dawn's belongings up to her room. She knocked quietly before slowly opening the door.  
  
Dawn lay curled up on her bed hugging her pillow. Buffy quietly crept into the room placing the neatly folded up clothes on a chair before perching herself on the end of the bed. Dawn closed her eyes feeling the bed sag wishing Buffy would just leave the room.  
  
'Dawn?' Buffy questioned quietly. Dawn ignored her closing her eyes tighter trying to block out the sound of her sister. 'Dawn?' Buffy persisted gently pulling away some hair off her face. Dawn shook off her touch sitting up away from her sister hugging her pillow tightly. Buffy saw her sister's blood shot eyes and the remains of tears on her cheek.  
  
'What do you want Buffy?' Dawn asked sadly.  
  
'Dawnie we need to talk,' Buffy started.  
  
'What about?' Dawn questioned as she wiped her eyes.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy sighed hoping Dawn would understand. 'We could get some ice cream watch a movie, spend some quality sister time talking this through.' Buffy tried hopefully.  
  
'No,' Dawn said firmly standing up. She moved to the door holding it open for Buffy. 'What is there to talk about Buffy? That I love Spike, that I'm truly happy with him, that he was the only one there for me, and that I miss him already. What is there possibly left to say?' Buffy looked at Dawn angrily standing up off the bed. 'What were you expecting to talk about Buffy?' Dawn said angrily. 'The movie, the ice cream?' Buffy watched her sister unable to come up with an answer. 'Just leave Buffy, there is only one way you can make this better.' Dawn opened the door wider before Buffy left.  
  
Dawn shut it silently leaning back against it her eyes shut in despair before she sank down to the floor. She wiped her eyes as she realised new tears replaced the remains of the old ones. She sat up slowly leaning across to her bedside table. Opening the draw she gently removed the pendant Spike had given her holding it tightly in her hand as she looked down at it. She smiled lovingly at it thinking back of Spike. Pulling out the shoebox from under her bed she found Spike's photos again spreading them out over the floor. She looked over every photo in detail staring at them solemnly.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn awoke late the next morning. She didn't know how long she had looked over the photos but eventually she'd curled up in bed and fallen into a deep sleep. Opening her eyes she remembered last night and rolled over in bed sadly. After a moment her eyes knitted together confused on hearing a light tapping. Pulling the sheet down off her head she sat up.  
  
'Come in,' she said realising someone was at the door. She lay back down as Buffy entered the room. She turned away from her curling up into a ball pulling the sheet up.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy began knowing she was awake. 'Dawn I know you're awake.' Dawn turned around to face her sister.  
  
'I'm awake sue me,' she said irritably before pulling back the sheet and getting out of bed. Buffy sighed sitting on the bed. She looked across the side table frowning as she picked up a photo frame.  
  
'What is this?' Buffy asked showing Dawn the photo frame with a picture she had added the night before of her and Spike.  
  
'It's a photo,' Dawn said casually brushing her hair knowing it would annoy Buffy. Buffy stared at Dawn her frustration evident. 'Me and my boyfriend.' Dawn added in the same tone. 'I'm going to take a shower,' Dawn said picking up some clothes still not looking at Buffy.  
  
***************  
  
'You're still here,' Dawn observed as she returned to her room to find Buffy still looking at the photo. Buffy looked up but didn't reply. Dawn tried to ignore her as she moved around her room but her curiosity to why Buffy was still here got the better of her as she looked over at her sister.  
  
'You look happy,' Buffy said sadly still looking at the picture.  
  
'I was,' Dawn said cruelly taking the frame for Buffy's hand and looking at it. 'But unless you've changed your mind I don't want to talk about it.'  
  
'Dawn, Xander and Anya are going to be here in a quarter of an hour. I have to tell them.' Buffy stood up awkwardly. Dawn stared at Buffy surprised her current action forgotten.  
  
'Why?' Dawn asked bewildered slightly afraid for Spike.  
  
'They deserve to know,' Buffy said.  
  
'It has nothing to do with them,' Dawn argued.  
  
'Of course it does,' Buffy replied.  
  
'No,' Dawn sated. 'It's between me and Spike; it has nothing to do with anyone else. Why do you think we kept it from you?'  
  
'Well you did a great job of that, making out in graveyard where anyone could see.' Dawn turned to her in disgust.  
  
'You were spying on us,' she shouted back angrily.  
  
'How do you think I found out?' Buffy asked surprised. Dawn's gaze fell meekly to the floor. 'They have a right to know.'  
  
'What right?' Dawn asked angrily. 'It is none of their business.'  
  
'They are going to find out Dawn, it's your decision whether you are there or not.' Buffy walked to the door before pausing and turning back. 'I think you should be there Dawnie. You'll be able to explain better than me.' Buffy added sadly before leaving Dawn in her room.  
  
***************  
  
Dawn sat uncomfortably on the end of the sofa; her legs tucked under her fingering the necklace Spike gave her nervously. Dawn didn't want to be here but as she was grounded she didn't want to hear them talking about her from her room either. Dawn looked up suddenly as Xander and Anya noisily entered.  
  
'Sorry,' Xander apologised breathlessly as Willow, Tara and Buffy came through from the kitchen.  
  
'Yes,' Anya agreed removing her coat.  
  
'So what Scooby deal is it?' Xander asked enthusiastically throwing himself into an armchair before Anya perched herself on the arm. He looked around at the group surprised to see Willow and Tara's puzzled expressions also as they sat on the sofa. His gaze fell to Dawn and looked mystified by Dawn's anxious, almost nervous expression. When Dawn didn't return his gaze he looked back across at Buffy waiting for an explanation.  
  
'This isn't a demon thing,' Buffy began nervously standing in front of them. 'Well it kind of is,' Dawn looked up at Buffy angrily before Buffy continued quickly, 'But it's not a killing demon thing more a demon thing that doesn't involve swords or pointy things.' Buffy rambled nervously.  
  
'Ok Buff,' Xander said confused saying what the others were all thinking. Buffy smiled at Xander trying to reassure herself.  
  
'There's something you guys need to know about Spike.'  
  
'Spike?' Willow asked confused. 'I thought this had something to do with why you and Dawn were arguing yesterday.' Willow turned back to Tara for reassurance.  
  
'Well it kind of does,' Buffy said nervously. Dawn suddenly felt everyone's gaze on her as looked up around at the group resembling a deer caught in the headlights.  
  
'Huh?' Xander asked to the group confused.  
  
'Buffy what's going on?' Willow asked concerned leaning in towards Buffy.  
  
'It's about Dawn and Spike,' Buffy looked across at Dawn hoping she'd add something. When Dawn stared back motionless Buffy continued. 'Dawn's been lying to us, she's been sneaking out to visit someone.  
  
'Oh Will,' Willow said suddenly looking at Dawn. Buffy looked at her surprised.  
  
'Yeah that would be you,' Buffy concluded mystified.  
  
'No,' Tara replied, 'Dawn's boyfriend.' Xander's mouth fell open in surprise.  
  
'You guys knew,' Buffy said stunned.  
  
'Come on Buff what's the big deal, you used to sneak out and see Angel all the....' Willow stopped looking across at Dawn after seeing Buffy's icy glare, '.... never.' Willow concluded looking at the floor.  
  
'The deal is she's too young,' Xander assumed.  
  
'Hey,' Dawn shouted back. All eyes turned to her as if they'd forgotten she was sitting there.  
  
'Guys this is different,' Buffy said surprised they were ok with this. 'I mean Angel wasn't,' Buffy paused about to say vampire. 'Ok he was, but how could you guys not tell me?' Dawn smiled suddenly realising Buffy was talking about Spike and Willow and Tara were thinking of Will the boyfriend Dawn had made up.  
  
'Look Buffy I'm sure he's nice.' Buffy's eyes widened not understanding what Willow was saying.  
  
'Did you guys all go crazy when I died?' Buffy panicked. The others all looked at her ashamed embarrassed by her referring to them bringing her back. 'What did he do to you?' She asked as she looked around at the group. Her gaze fell to Dawn when she heard her giggle. 'What?'  
  
'It's just really funny,' Dawn said unable to suppress a smile. Buffy glared at Dawn who was still smiling.  
  
'Guys I'm so confused,' Xander said his expression matching Anya's.  
  
'Dawn has a boyfriend called Will,' Tara explained calmly.  
  
'Huh?' Buffy asked turning towards the girls, 'why are you calling him...?' Buffy stopped as the truth dawned on her. 'Dawn,' she began angrily.  
  
'Buffy?' Dawn questioned uneasily.  
  
'Care to explain.'  
  
'I'm still really confused,' Xander said wearily.  
  
'Right there with you,' Willow volunteered looking between Dawn and Buffy.  
  
'Dawn lied,' Buffy blamed.  
  
'Yeah we got that,' Willow answered. 'But you used to go out to see Angel. I thought we were passed this.'  
  
'No,' Buffy said staring at Dawn. 'She lied about the boyfriend. She doesn't have one.' Buffy added firmly.  
  
'So where have you been going?' Tara asked Dawn gently.  
  
'I was seeing my boyfriend,' Dawn answered before glaring at Buffy.  
  
'I'm assuming Dawn told you he went to her school.' Tara and Willow nodded silently. 'He's a little older.'  
  
'A college boy?' Xander almost squealed. Buffy shook her head silently.  
  
'But Buffy,' Willow asked. 'What has this got to do with...?' Willow stopped, finally understanding. She thought it over silently for a moment. 'No,' she said dismissing the idea before looking at Buffy and Dawn for reassurance. Dawn was looking at the floor avoiding eye contact with anyone. 'Ok I just entered an alternate dimension for a moment.' Willow joked.  
  
'What were you thinking?' Tara asked taking Willow's hand.  
  
'Oh just I thought what if Dawn's boyfriend was Spike?' Xander laughed, as the girls all smiled not taking the idea seriously. Only Dawn and Buffy's expressions remained subdued. On seeing Buffy and Dawn's gaze Xander stopped smiling and stood up abruptly.  
  
'No,' he panicked. Dawn looked at the floor feeling as if she was about to cry. Willow eyes widened.  
  
'I'm wrong,' Willow tried to reassure her self. 'Right?'  
  
'You were right Will,' Buffy said sadly.  
  
'But it's Dawn,' Xander argued. 'She's still a kid.'  
  
'I'm 16,' Dawn argued back angrily.  
  
'Wasn't Spike in love with you?' Anya suggested before Dawn looked angrily at her.  
  
'Apparently not,' Buffy added crossing her arms.  
  
'Guys its obvious Dawn's making it up,' Xander tried to convince him self and the others.  
  
'Apparently not,' Buffy repeated. The others looked at her waiting for an explanation. 'I went to see him last night.'  
  
'Buffy I'm relying on you being sane to tell me this story has a dusty ending.' Xander pleaded. Dawn's angry gaze moved to Xander.  
  
'No,' Buffy said meekly.  
  
'No one is killing Spike.' Dawn said firmly.  
  
'When did this happen?' Willow asked.  
  
'During the summer,' Dawn replied.  
  
'Guys why are we sitting here?' Xander asked the group. 'Why aren't we going to Spike's with large weapons; I could use something in an axe.' Dawn stood up angrily disgusted by his comment.  
  
'No one is killing Spike,' Dawn shouted to the group before feeling the tears well up in her eyes.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy tried sadly.  
  
'Don't,' Dawn said rushing past her. 'I'm going to my room.' All eyes were on her as she ran up the stairs. Buffy sighed taking Dawn's seat on the sofa resting her head in her hands.  
  
'Buffy are you ok?' Willow asked rubbing Buffy's shoulder. Buffy smiled gratefully up at her friend.  
  
'I just really want to kill Spike right now.' Buffy concluded.  
  
OK THIS IS MORE OF A FILLER CHAPTER BUT I FELT THE SCOOBY'S WERE KIND OF STUPID NOT NOTICING THE SPIKE/DAWN RELATIONSHIP SO I DECIDED TO EMPHASISE THEIR STUPIDITY.  
  
I'll admit I'm a little concerned by everyone's need for me to kick Buffy's ass not because I don't want Buffy portrayed that way but because you all seem to have a lot of rage in you. But hey maybe you are all really quiet and reserved in real life and this is the only way you can let go. Which ever it is or if it's neither just keep reviewing, I'm glad you're reacting to the story.  
  
Biggest shout out ever to spearsister, who I will now love for all eternity for being so sweet. I was very proud of the last chapter especially after her review. I got an amazing can you believe it?  
  
Enn-Enn who thinks it was beautifully written thanks loads and loads.  
  
To lexinator: again with the desire to kick Buffy's butt. It's so good you express this rage (while taking the time out to review my story, go you, you rock!)  
  
And to lilylioness who I'm not sure how long you've reviewed but I don't think I've thanked you so voila: thanks.  
  
Lindsey, thanks for the review I'm glad you like it.  
  
Also have to mention stargurl727 who is still emailing me because she can't review, I'm touch you bother to put in the effort. It means a lot.  
  
You guys all totally rock and I want to apologise for taking so long to update. It's for a couple of reasons mainly: one I had my 10-hour art exam this week that is 55% of my overall exam, which is scary stuff, I've kind of been working on/making notes for another story which I haven't published yet and thirdly I don't want to let you guys and myself down by rushing and writing rubbish chapters. 


	27. worthy

SO THE LAST CHAPTER WASN'T SUPPOSED TO HAVE A CLIFF-HANGER ENDING, BUFFY'S JUST FRUSTRATED AND VOICING HER NEED TO KILL SPIKE BUT SHE WON'T GO THROUGH WITH IT. (I mean who can kill someone that hot?) And oh my god James Marsters was in my hometown last Tuesday. He was at a club and I am soooooooo jealous a friend of a friend got to go.  
  
VOILA ANOTHER CHAPTER.  
  
'I love this song,' Buffy said happily to Dawn as she returned from the kitchen. Dawn was slumped on the sofa silently listening to the radio as Buffy tidied up. Dawn hadn't seen Spike in almost a week and had become more withdrawn every day.  
  
'Where do you want this?' Buffy asked smiling showing Dawn her blue sweater. Dawn silently extended her arm to take the sweater before wrapping it around her. Buffy sighed as Dawn refused to speak. 'Come on Dawn, you have to talk to me sometime,' Buffy tried. Dawn hugged the jumper tighter looking away from Buffy. 'Dawn please,' Buffy tried one last time. 'Talk to me.'  
  
As the chorus of the song started Dawn looked down bringing her legs up protectively willing herself not to cry.  
  
'Dawnie what is it?' Buffy asked concerned.  
  
'The song,' Dawn replied meekly so Buffy could barely hear.  
  
'What about it? Buffy asked confused sitting next to Dawn on the sofa.  
  
'Nothing,' Dawn said sadly wiping her eyes before she began to cry.  
  
'No Dawn, what is it?' Buffy persisted concerned about her little sister. 'Is this a Spike thing?' Dawn nodded silently still not looking up. 'But I thought you hated this song.' Buffy tried to joke.  
  
'I do,' Buffy looked at her confused. 'Our first argument was about this song,' Dawn admitted looking at her sister.  
  
'You argued over a song?' Buffy questioned surprised.  
  
'Actually it was about you,' Dawn whispered.  
  
'Me,' Buffy said surprised. Dawn looked up not realising Buffy would have heard her. She nodded again not wanting to explain it all to Buffy.  
  
'What do you mean first argument? How many fights did you have?' Buffy joked with surprise.  
  
Dawn looked up angrily at Buffy. 'Oh,' Buffy said awkwardly before adding quietly, 'I'll shut up.' She was unable to withhold her confusion for long. 'But you guys weren't that serious,' Buffy assumed before Dawn threw her the same angry glance as before.  
  
'How serious were you? Buffy asked concerned trying to hide her anger.  
  
'Do you get any more serious than me being completely in love with him?' Dawn asked honestly watching her sister.  
  
'But you didn't? Buffy enquired in disbelief unable to ask if her and Spike had slept together.  
  
'That's none of your business,' Dawn said coldly feeling Buffy looking at her expectantly.  
  
'Dawn tell me you didn't,' Buffy replied needing reassurance.  
  
'Fine,' Dawn shouted standing up leaving the sweater strewn on the couch. 'I haven't had sex with Spike.' She began honestly. 'Would you rather I had then you could go and kill him?' Dawn asked sarcastically.  
  
'Dawnie I'm just glad he didn't force you to do anything.' Buffy replied sincerely before Dawn scoffed at Buffy's answer.  
  
'Don't worry Buffy he was the perfect gentleman,' Dawn replied angrily. 'You'd be proud of him.' She added sarcastically. 'I've fallen asleep in his arms, in his bed and he didn't even try to take advantage.' Dawn said smiling trying to shock Buffy. 'But me Buffy,' Dawn said shaking her head in mock dismay. 'I offered it to him on a plate,' Dawn revealed stepping towards her sister before continuing. 'And Buffy we nearly did.' Dawn paused waiting for a reaction.  
  
'Twice!' She shouted at the top of her voice before running upstairs. Buffy ran after her grabbing her arm at the top of the stairs her face horrified, unable to say anything.  
  
'What Buffy?' Dawn asked casually. 'Can't you handle your baby sister and your mortal enemy doing it?' Buffy continued to watch her sister silently not knowing how to answer.  
  
'Buffy I'm not a little girl,' Dawn explained.  
  
'Yes you are.' Buffy replied. 'You're a child Dawn.'  
  
'I took Spike's hand,' Dawn continued ignoring Buffy. 'And led him up the stairs and I unbuttoned his shirt. I've seen Spike topless, I've stood in front of Spike wanting to make love to him, and do you know the only reason we didn't do it in Spike's crypt.' Dawn paused gaining satisfaction from Buffy's expression.  
  
'Because you showed up,' she added desperately before concluding, 'you!'  
  
'So be happy,' Dawn continued to shout walking down the landing. 'You won because if we have it your way I'm never going to see him again. So you saved your precious little sister.' Dawn added sarcastically before slamming the door in her sister's face.  
  
'Dawn,' Buffy screamed from the other side of the door. When she didn't hear a reply she shouted again. 'Dawn get out here.' Buffy waited patiently tapping her boot on the floor. Suddenly music began to blast from the room. Buffy sighed angrily before leaving.  
  
Dawn cautiously walked down the stairs knowing Buffy was in the kitchen. She opened the front door quietly hoping the music blasting from her room would mask any noises she was making. Dawn closed her eyes in prayer as she quietly shut the front door behind her. She ran quickly down the path and towards Spike's crypt. She wanted to hurt Buffy and knew seeing Spike was the best way. Ignoring any fear of demons she rushed through the graveyard focusing on her destination.  
  
Reaching Spike's crypt she didn't pause to catch her breath or knock. She pushed open the door smiling immediately seeing Spike.  
  
'Hey,' she whispered breathlessly the relief on Dawn's face obvious. Spike jumped out his chair smiling rushing over to Dawn.  
  
'What are you doing here?' He asked brushing some hair out of her eyes. Dawn looked at him silently staring into his eyes her smile widening. Spike smiled back stroking her arms.  
  
'Hey,' she repeated her grin plastered to her face. She lent in towards him until their lips met in a slow kiss. The kiss became more intense as Spike gripped Dawn's arm. She pulled him closer forcefully. When they finally parted Spike smiled at Dawn's still grinning face. 'I missed you,' she stated before kissing him again gluing her lips to his. She moved her hands pulling at his coat allowing it fall to the floor. Spike looked at her surprised as she quickly led him downstairs.  
  
'Are you ok?' Spike asked suspiciously following Dawn, he couldn't tell why but she seemed different. Dawn turned back to him by the bed replying suddenly.  
  
'Sleep with me.' Dawn waited as Spike stared at her surprised, motionless. 'Spike?' She questioned waiting for a reaction. Spike opened his mouth not knowing what to say. Dawn's face fell at his reaction. 'Don't you want to?'  
  
'Of course,' Spike replied still confused by how Dawn was acting. Dawn smiled back pleased quickly pulling her t-shirt over her head. She frowned at Spike standing motionless, kissing him again to invoke a reaction. She pulled him towards her until they fell back onto his bed. Dawn collapsed in a fit of giggles in-between kisses.  
  
'Dawn what's going on?' Spike asked leaning on his knees in front of Dawn.  
  
'What do you mean?' She asked innocently nibbling his ear as she pulled his top from his jeans.  
  
'This isn't you,' Spike said pushing her away. Dawn's face fell at his words.  
  
'If you don't want to...' Dawn began hurt as she swung her leg over the bed trying to get up. Spike grabbed her arm stopping her. She turned back to him expectantly. 'What?' She asked impatiently.  
  
'I do,' Spike admitted pulling her back onto the bed. Dawn smiled kissing him again.  
  
'Good,' she replied wrapping her arms around the back of his head and pulling up his t-shirt off his back. As she tossed the shirt onto the floor she lent back onto the bed before Spike copied leaning down towards her.  
  
'So how's your week been?' Spike joked before kissing her neck.  
  
'Awful,' Dawn replied breathlessly running her fingers up Spike's back. 'I just had a huge row with Buffy,' Dawn said falling silent as Spike kissed her collarbone. 'Shutting up,' she whispered breathlessly.  
  
'Good,' Spike whispered in her ear. She smiled pulling his face towards hers in a kiss. 'Unless you want to talk about it?' Spike asked pulling away. Dawn shook her head smiling pulling him towards her in another kiss.  
  
'Let's just prove her wrong,' Dawn said kissing him again. Spike froze pulling out of the kiss. He tipped his head to the side in confusion. Dawn sat up surprised by his reluctance. 'What?'  
  
'Why are you here Dawn?' Spike asked sadly.  
  
'To see you,' Dawn replied smiling happily.  
  
'No you're not,' Spike explained solemnly climbing off the bed.  
  
'Where are you going?' Dawn asked getting off the bed in surprise. 'Spike,' she asked again grabbing his arm.  
  
'Dawn you shouldn't be here,' Spike said avoiding looking at her.  
  
'Why?' Dawn said confused watching him put his t-shirt back on. 'Spike I don't understand. Don't you want to?' Dawn said hurt. Spike turned back to her resting his forehead against hers and closing his eyes.  
  
'More than anything,' he whispered sadly, 'but I don't want you to regret it.' Dawn pulled away her eyes showing her confusion.  
  
'I wouldn't,' she said shaking her head.  
  
'You're here because of Buffy,' Spike explained. 'You came here to annoy Buffy, because Buffy doesn't want you here.'  
  
'What are you saying Spike?' Dawn replied angrily picking up her shirt. 'So you think this has nothing to do with you?' Dawn questioned pointing at the bed.  
  
'Dawn,' Spike tried touching her arm. She flinched away from him turning her back to put her t-shirt back on.  
  
'Of course I don't understand,' Dawn said angrily turning back to him pulling her hair out from her t-shirt. 'I'm just a kid, I'm too young to know anything.' Dawn shouted pushing him back.  
  
'That's not what I'm saying,' Spike tried.  
  
'Of course it is,' Dawn shot back. 'I'm only sixteen, what would I know about what I do.' She added sarcastically. 'I'm just a child, irrational, stupid, no idea what I want.'  
  
'No,' Spike said angrily. 'Dawn you're not here because of me. You're here to get back at Buffy.' Spike shouted kicking the wall.  
  
'Do you think I'd...?' Dawn asked before Spike cut her off.  
  
'You just don't realise what your doing.' Spike said shaking his head.  
  
'I guess I'm just too immature,' Dawn replied sadly. When Spike didn't reply Dawn continued. 'God you're just like Buffy.' Dawn paused for a moment looking at him sadly. 'Look Spike when you decide I'm old enough let me know ok,' Dawn shouted before going upstairs.  
  
'If you could see yourself Dawn,' Spike said following her upstairs. Dawn turned back to him trying to hide how hurt she was.  
  
'Just a kid right?' Dawn asked. 'Look in a mirror yourself Spike.' Dawn shot back. 'Oh no wait you can't,' she added cruelly. 'You're the one who needs to grow up. Just, when you have I might have moved on.' Dawn turned walking to the door of the crypt. 'Don't bother me walking home.' Spike sighed before following anyway.  
  
'I'm not going to let you get hurt Dawn.' Spike shouted running to catch up with her.  
  
'Too late Spike,' Dawn replied refusing to look at him.  
  
'Dawn what is the matter with you?' Spike said grabbing her arm and spinning her to face him. His face fell when he saw the tears on her cheeks.  
  
'I thought my age didn't matter to you.'  
  
'It doesn't,' Spike insisted quickly. 'Why do you keep going on about your age?'  
  
'I'm sick of people treating me like an idiot just because I'm younger.'  
  
'This is about Buffy, you had an argument with Buffy before you came.' Spike said realising. 'Would you still have come if you two were still talking?'  
  
'Spike we've done nothing but argue and sit in silence for a week now. Everyone tiptoeing around me trying to act normal while still punishing me for something they don't even want to think about. I'm bored of eating in silence, being ignored and crying myself to sleep. I thought with you it would be different but you're just the same.'  
  
'Dawn,' Spike tried desperately embracing her in a hug. Dawn closed her eyes hugging him back.  
  
'No,' Dawn said suddenly pushing away. 'That isn't going to fix us. We can't hug and make everything ok again.'  
  
'Why not?' Spike shouted making Dawn jump.  
  
'Because it won't solve anything,' she shouted back desperately surprised by the volume of her own voice. 'I'll still be younger, it'll still be the same at home and we'll still be apart.' Dawn finished sadly.  
  
'I can't help it if I can't see you.' Spike replied angrily.  
  
'I've spent a whole week blaming Buffy Spike. I need to blame you.' Dawn said sadly. 'You kissed me, you kept coming over and you made me fall in love with you.'  
  
'It wasn't supposed to be like this,' Dawn whispered. 'I spent a whole week planning how perfect everything was going to be when I saw you again. But we screwed it up.' Dawn said turning away.  
  
'Do you think I didn't think about you once in this last week?'  
  
'It's been easy for you,' Dawn said beginning to walk again. 'You've just sat alone all week. I've had Buffy going on at me all the time. I had to sit while Buffy told all the others and I pleaded with them not to kill you. I've had to go to school like everything's normal. You've made me hate my sister Spike.' Dawn finished breathlessly stopping suddenly looking down at the floor.  
  
'Niblet,' Spike tried.  
  
'Don't,' Dawn said holding up her hand to stop him moving closer towards him. 'What if we're not worth it?' Dawn whispered not wanting to voice her concern.  
  
'We are,' Spike whispered resting his head on the side of her face. 'I love you,' he whispered trying to reassure her.  
  
'I've got to go,' Dawn said distantly pulling away. Spike noticed she didn't look at him. 'Good bye Spike,' she said quietly walking back needing time to think.  
  
I REMEMBER SOMEONE WANTING DAWN TO DIE, NOW EVERYONE WANTS BUFFY TO DIE. THE RAGE OUT THERE IS FRANKLY A LITTLE (I want to say scary but) FUNNY. SO I'M VOICING EVERYONE'S ANGER THROUGH ARGUMENTS WITH THE CHARACTERS AS I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CONTROL THEM, the power! Cackles  
  
I know it's been a while but my phone line cut out on Thursday and only reconnected today (Monday) 4 whole days without the Internet has been hell! But now I'm back with another chapter.  
  
Lexinator: you can threat all you want, rant even if you wish. I actually had a friend who threw a desk once. He was pissed with the teacher, I think he'd been given a detention (but at that age we gave a damn about being in trouble) and he stood in front of the teacher's desk lifting up one side and slamming it against the floor repeatedly. It was one of the funniest things I have ever seen! So throw away but be careful you don't strain your arm.  
  
Lilylioness: embrace the rage, go with it, and throw a desk if you wish but right now Buffy is going nowhere.  
  
Stargurl727: of course Dawn was going to sneak out and see Spike; Buffy can't stop them, she can try but she won't.  
  
Spearsister: thanks for your continued reviews. I hope I'm keeping the personalities of the character right and thanks for your reassurance. I've said before, I relate to Dawn better so find her easier to write her. Or I'm a really good writer you guys choose. Ok I don't completely relate to Dawn as my sister isn't a slayer, she's younger and more annoying than me and I'm not dating a vampire. 


	28. when you dont emigrate to Vegas

Dawn closed her eyes in a silent prayer as she opened the door as quietly as possible hoping Buffy wouldn't notice her absence. She closed the door successfully before turning around to remove her coat. She froze her coat around her arms as she saw Buffy sat patiently in an armchair watching her.  
  
'Hi,' Dawn said sadly walking to the lounge and taking a seat opposite Buffy on the couch. Dawn watched her sister uncomfortably as the slayers eyes fell to the floor in despair.  
  
'I'm sorry,' Buffy replied quietly her eyes glued to the carpet. Dawn looked at her in surprise.  
  
'Me too,' she answered meekly. She paused not knowing whether to continue. 'I went to see Spike,' she admitted guiltily.  
  
'I guessed that was where you'd be.' Buffy said still not looking up.  
  
'I shouldn't have gone,' Dawn owned up truthfully. 'You were right.' Buffy finally looked up at her sister in surprise. 'It was my fault I went there. Spike didn't know I was coming.' Dawn tried to explain.  
  
'I won't kill him,' Buffy reassured Dawn knowing that was why she was so worried. Dawn smiled back timidly in surprise.  
  
'Thank you.' She whispered looking away.  
  
'So are you just here to pack up some stuff, toothbrush, pyjamas and then go and get married in Vegas?' Buffy asked sarcastically. Dawn shook her head silently feeling her eyes well up with tears. Buffy noticed Dawns red eyes for the first time as she looked up. 'Dawnie,' Buffy said rushing over to take a seat next to her. 'What happened?' She asked becoming the concerned big sister. Dawn turned to her sister thanking her with her eyes for not starting an argument. Buffy smiled wrapping her arm around Dawn for support. Dawn sobbed hugging her sister back.  
  
'Thank you,' Dawn thanked not knowing what else to say. When Dawn finally pulled out of the embrace her tears had stopped but she continued to wipe her cheeks. 'I'm sorry,' she apologised finally looking across at her sister.  
  
'It doesn't matter Dawnie,' Buffy comforted rubbing her back. 'Just as long as you're ok.'  
  
'Everything's not ok,' Dawn said sadly with tears in her eyes. 'I know it's not what you want to hear but I love Spike.' Dawn paused releasing a long breath. 'I'm not ok,' she admitted truthfully. 'I want everything to be like it was before.' Dawn confessed. 'Before you died, before Spike. I want you to talk to me again.'  
  
'Dawnie,' Buffy began before hugging her again. 'I want that too.' Buffy smiled stroking her sister's long hair. 'We could meet Willow and Xander at the Bronze?' Buffy suggested hopefully. Dawn smiled back at her sister before standing up  
  
'I've just got to change,' Dawn added before running up the stairs. Buffy smiled for a moment before her face fell in panic.  
  
'There is no way you're using the bathroom first.' Buffy shouted chasing after Dawn.  
  
'How are you feeling?' Buffy shouted over the noise of the Bronze. Dawn smiled back reassuringly before taking a sip of her drink breaking eye contact. She didn't want to lie to Buffy but being at the Bronze wasn't helping. She'd got dressed up, smiled and talked with the others but Dawn couldn't stop thinking of Spike.  
  
'I'll be fine,' Dawn reassured trying to convince herself as much as her sister. Buffy rubbed her arm supportively smiling gently across at her.  
  
'I'm here Dawn,' Buffy reminded. 'If you want to go home....' Buffy suggested trailing off. Dawn shook her head smiling broadly at her sister.  
  
'We're here for fun,' Dawn reminded. 'I can't spoil your evening as well.' Buffy smiled sadly knowing she wouldn't convince Dawn to go home.  
  
'I love you,' Buffy finished standing up. 'Another drink?' she asked. Dawn looked down at her almost empty glass before looking up and nodding hopefully. 'Be right back.' Buffy concluded. Dawn watched her go before her eyes surveyed the club.  
  
'Look who I found,' Dawn heard Willow say from behind her. Dawn turned around in surprise before smile spread across her face.  
  
'Janice,' she squealed embracing her friend in a hug.  
  
'Guys, volume,' Xander said covering his ears. Dawn giggled before offering Janice a seat.  
  
'So why are you here and why was I not invited?' Dawn accused playfully.  
  
'I'm a surprise,' Janice admitted stealing Dawn's drink. 'Your sister rang, told me I had to come to keep her, quote "annoying sister out of trouble." So naturally here I am.'  
  
'Cool,' Dawn smiled at the back of Buffy's head at the bar.  
  
'So anyone up for dancing?' Xander asked the group.  
  
'I'm in,' Willow said standing up. Dawn stood up before Janice grabbed her arm. She turned back to her confused.  
  
'We're going over there,' Janice said pointing across the club. Dawn shrugged at the others following her friend.  
  
'What up?' Dawn asked as they found more seats.  
  
'What's up with me?' Janice asked surprised. 'You've been weird all week and Buffy was so strange on the phone. What's going on Dawn?'  
  
'Nothing,' Dawn lied to Janice. 'I guess I've just been thinking about my mom more this week.' Janice studied Dawn's face not knowing what to say. Dawn felt bad about lying to her friend. She had been thinking about her mom but she hated pretending Spike didn't exist.  
  
'Ok,' Janice said defeated. Dawn smiled at her to show she was ok. 'So I had this idea,' Janice suggested suddenly breaking the silence. 'How about you meet my boyfriend?' Janice paused waiting for Dawn's reaction. Dawn face lit up in surprise.  
  
'Boyfriend?' She asked excitedly. Janice nodded smiling. 'Why do I not know about him?' Janice shook her head before becoming distracted by a tall blonde behind Dawn.  
  
'Dawn this is Leo,' Janice said proudly wrapping her arm around his waist. Dawn beamed at her friend before extending a hand to shake Leo's.  
  
'Hey,' she began inspecting his face. He smiled back warmly leading Janice back to their seats.  
  
'He's nice,' Dawn said to Janice their eyes focused on Leo's figure fetching drinks.  
  
'I know,' Janice squealed happily. 'I can't believe I never noticed him before. But I'd never had a reason to pay attention in computer class before.'  
  
'And he's hot.' Dawn concluded happy for her friend.  
  
'Totally,' Janice replied before Leo returned to the table. 'Hey babe.' Leo smiled back silently before kissing Janice slowly. Dawn smiled sadly lowering her gaze away from the couple and thinking of Spike for the first time that evening.  
  
'Ok we're making Dawn uncomfortable,' Janice said pulling out of Leo's embrace.  
  
'No it's ok,' Dawn said distracted with her drink. 'I'm just happy for you guys.'  
  
'Well I'm going to the bathroom.' Janice said standing up. 'I'll be right back,' she said to the pair before leaving.  
  
'Dawn are you ok?' Leo asked as he looked at Dawn.  
  
'I'm fine,' Dawn said leaning against the table. 'Just getting a headache I guess.' She stood up cautiously. 'I'm going to get some fresh air.' She said turning around towards the door. Leo stood up immediately grabbing their coats.  
  
'I'll come with you.'  
  
'No it's ok,' Dawn tried to protest. 'Wait for Janice.'  
  
'She'll be mad with me if I don't follow her best friend ok? So come on.' Dawn smiled weakly before leading them out of the club.  
  
'Are you sure you're ok?' Dawn opened her eyes standing up straight.  
  
'I'll be fine,' Dawn smiled back crossing her arms.  
  
'Here's your jacket,' Leo said noticing Dawn's movement. She smiled with thanks as he stepped behind her to help her put her jacket on.  
  
'Thanks,' she said turning back to face him.  
  
The two stood in comfortable silence leaning against the wall.  
  
'So you feeling better?' Leo asked after a minute. Dawn smiled at his concern before turning to face him.  
  
'Yep,' Dawn replied pulling her self off the wall.  
  
'Dawn,' Dawn heard a shout behind her. Dawn and Leo spun round to find a drunken Spike stumbling towards them.  
  
'Spike what the hell?' Dawn asked rushing over to him. She saw the bottle of whiskey before she smelt the alcohol on his breath.  
  
'Who's this guy?' Leo asked confused walking towards them.  
  
'Who am I? Who are you?' Spike slurred threateningly shrugging off Dawn.  
  
'Who the hell is this guy Dawn?' Leo asked ignoring Spike.  
  
'He's my...' Dawn looked across at Spike not knowing how to explain their relationship. '...We ...it's complicated.'  
  
'We're complicated' Spike mimicked sarcastically. 'Is that all I am to you?' Spike shouted desperately to Dawn as she rolled her eyes. Dawn could see tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
'Spike you're drunk, now is not the time to talk.' Dawn replied worried she was about to start crying.  
  
'Why not?' Spike replied angrily. 'Because you're on a date?'  
  
'Grow up Spike,' Dawn replied turning away.  
  
'I'm right aren't I?' Spike stated proud of himself.  
  
'Look dude I don't know what your problem is but...' Leo tried stepping towards him. Spike startled by him spun around pushing him backwards.  
  
'Spike,' Dawn screamed pulling him away before he began to hit Leo. 'You can't just show up drunk and expect everything to be ok.' Dawn said desperately. 'And you can't start attacking any guy I talk to.'  
  
'I wanted to apologise,' Spike said quietly looking at the floor. 'You weren't at the house.' Dawn closed her eyes sadly.  
  
'It wasn't an apology I wanted Spike. For one night, just one night I wanted to be normal. To go out with my friend and her boyfriend.' Dawn said as she motioned to Leo. 'But you've ruined it Spike. Just go home,' she whispered quietly her eyes pleading with him.  
  
'Ok,' Spike whispered defeated turning away. As Dawn turned away Leo walked up to her whispering.  
  
'Who's the jerk Dawn?' Dawn turned her head back to Spike sadly. He'd stopped. She knew his vampire hearing would have heard him.  
  
'He's just Spike,' she said sadly staring at Spike's back.  
  
'Well he needs his head examining,' Leo said waiting for Dawn. Spike has leapt on Leo before Dawn had time to reply.  
  
'Spike,' she screamed in panic trying to pull him off. 'Spike please,' she begged tears falling down her cheeks as she pulled at Spike's arm. Because of the amount of alcohol had drunk, his coordination had weakened and the punch had been very weak. Spike feeling a tugging on his arm spun around pushing it away.  
  
Dawn was flung backwards as Spike pushed her off. She fell back onto the road in shock. She lifted her hand up to her cheek where Spike had struck her. Spike turned immediately realising what he'd done.  
  
'Dawn,' he whispered in a panic. He stepped towards her until Dawn pulled herself away from him unable to look him in the eyes. 'Dawn I'm sorry.' He pulled back the hair covering her cheek to see the already swollen bruise. 'Oh god.' He shouted standing up. Dawn looked down at the floor nervously.  
  
'Leo,' she said suddenly as he stood there watching. 'Can you go inside?'  
  
'Dawn I'm not leaving you with this freak.'  
  
'Please,' Dawn said cutting him off. 'He's not going to do anything.'  
  
'Are you sure?' He replied uncertainly. Dawn nodded silently watching Spike pacing. Dawn sat in silence as Leo left watching Spike pace the road.  
  
'Go home Spike,' Dawn said standing up. Spike looked over to her,  
  
'Dawn I...' Spike tried to apologise.  
  
'Don't.' she said cutting him off. 'There's nothing you can say right now that's going to make this ok. I need you to leave, sober up and not come back. I can't see you anymore.'  
  
'Dawn,' Spike whispered feeling tears on his cheek as he stepped towards her.  
  
'No Spike,' Dawn said backing away. 'I don't want to see you anymore.'  
  
'Dawn please, just think' Spike pleaded touching her arm. Dawn flinched under his touch backing away angrily.  
  
'I don't know what to think Spike. I don't' know what to say or what to do. I haven't figured it out yet.' Dawn admitted. She paused uncomfortably before continuing. 'But you're making it really hard for me to love you.' She added exhausted. 'If you can't do what I ask then you don't care about me.' Spike opened his mouth to say something before closing it in desperation. 'Just leave.' She whispered finally. Spike hung his head I defeat giving Dawn one final look before disappearing down an alley.  
  
Dawn watched him go bringing her hand up to her mouth before sitting down on the curb and allowing herself to cry.  
  
I KNOW IT'S BEEN ABSOLUTELY FOREVER GUYS. BUT MY EXAMS STARTED YESTURDAY SO EITHER I'LL HAVE A LOT MORE TIME ON MY HANDS WITH EXAM LEAVE OR I'LL BE REALLY BUSY STUDYING.  
  
Saifai- totally loved your review you totally get it. I know you wanted Spike and Dawn working it out but I'm in an angsty mood. (I know not a real word) Buffy's trying to understand her sister and her feelings and I hope you get that. No one's the bad guy everyone's just human/ or demon in Spike's case. (Totally seeing a parallel with Shylock in Merchant of Venice. Ok maybe not but my mind is on MoV as I have English Lit exam on Friday.) My teacher would be so proud.  
  
SuKs2BU- So I made him go after her but I'm guessing this isn't what you meant to happen. Thanks for your input however and I may use any more ideas you have.  
  
Lexinator- we get detention for the smallest things at our school. Couple of my friends got 1 for stealing a bin from a classroom, and I got one for stealing a textbook. Ok I'm making us sound like kleptomaniacs, which we really aren't. Hope you enjoy more angst I promise their will be more happiness but the story would be so dull if all they were doing was skipping through fields of daisies. Hee hee Spike skipping, sorry my mind works in peculiar ways.  
  
Alixtii-thanks for the review and the fact you enjoy my writing.  
  
Spearsister- thanks for the wonderful it really made me smile. I'm so glad you guys get why they had to argue. This chapter just goes to show people make mistakes and need forgiving. Buffy forgives Dawn, Dawn forgives Buffy but will Dawn be able to forgive Spike? Hee hee did that sound like a cliffhanger?  
  
Enn-Enn- I have more angst for you too. Voila enjoy or be annoyed there's too much angst.  
  
Rogue-slayer13- I'm apologising to you for the arguments and I agree James Marsters is way hot. I can't promise you Buffy's death but you can go back and read earlier chapter where she's dead if you want. Ok I doubt you'd do that but thanks for the review.  
  
Kathy- I'm sorry it's been so long as I'm sorry to everyone else. I'm touched mine is one of those long stories people actually waste their time reading. It makes me smile. Hope this chapter lives up to your guy's standards. 


End file.
